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 Jan 2016 Sumina Thapaliya
oni
it could hit at 3 AM
or 3 PM
monday or tuesday
wednesday or thursday
friday or the weekend
on your birthday
at a party
or when you
awaken in the middle
of the night
in a cold sweat

something this unforgiving
strikes fast
strikes first
and strikes hard

something this cold
doesnt care if its summer

something this unsettling
doesnt mind if you *****
all over your friends carpet

youll feel the chill
youll feel the bruise
youll feel the darkness
wherever you go
wherever you are
whenever you least expect it
In the darkest watch, in the deepest of night.
When all is quiet, and there’s no longer light.
When shadows occur on other shadows of blacksmith
When light becomes a mere reflection of thought.

My thoughts had drifted to the sea of words
Where quiet echos in my mind occur.
The creaks and clicks of the house were gone.
No longer the echo of air I heard

I stood up high on a ship’s tall bow
Floating over the ocean I don’t know how.
It was the sea of the Bible presented differently
This nocturnal journey was something new.

The head of each word was a buoy hanging down.
The rest of the word was under the water
I wondered if fish lived down there
I mulled what meanings I’d find floating here

All the nouns were cued each with a breath
Verbs interspersed between them on the surface of the sea
As the breath of the nouns spread across the water
I saw it move and it began to show me it’s meanings.

Suddenly came a gurgling wave
And moved the ocean up and down
I saw words bobbing and jumping
The words were shown in a new light to me.

I was now supported by this sea of words
In a ship that God had made for me
It was organized from the deepest void
That I first did see.

In the beginning was the word in this deep sea
And the word of God had formed in me.
I look over its vastness deep as the wind did blow
I wander in the night watch around the ship’s bow.
I'm
A modern
Day
Senora
And a former
Day sora.
Noone knows what
A sora is , it is
A small brown
And Grey bird.

The brown represents
My skin color and the meanwhile the grey represents my pain.
The earth stood still on the day you came into the world.
Adorned in a strawberry crown of silken strands, you delighted all who gazed upon you.
My heart swelled with joy and pride.
You grew, and my heart compressed under your rising weight.
Your footsteps, pitter patter.
My heart, splitter splatter.
Trodden and worn, my heart beats slowly.
All grown up, you dance across my heart with high heeled soles.
Punctured and broken, I cry.
Baby, slow down.
You're killing me.

1/3/2016
Clothing made of pure fibres.
Highly visible leather shoes.
Conduct attuned to corporate etiquette.
Words with care they choose.

If you'all are inspired by any.
Then you all should know.
Amongst the men holding ranks high.
Many have stooped very low.
Embrace the twinge of hurt

attached to the deeper pain

which must painstakingly be drawn to the surface

in order to be removed
In the cold of the night,
Her fears bring her to life.
The thoughts,
The chills,
The spells,
The pills,
Can't keep her sane.
She begs the doctor to get off her back,
Because she can't pull the knife of darkness out of her back.
She claims that she's "just fine",
Pulls out the razor and draws another line.
She can't deal with this pain,
Yet I'm trying to keep her sane.
She takes all the drugs,
She follows all the orders,
But she can't be near me when I hold her.
Cause she's not her, and I'm not me.
She drives me crazy til I bleed.
"I don't want you to go away", she begs,
I compromise, saying I'll be there til my grave.
"You need to walk away", she pleads.
This catastrophy, this mess I see.
She loves me, she loves me not,
She used to love me, then she forgot.
Because of the thoughts,
Because of the chills,
Because of the spells,
Because of the pills,
She lost her grip on reality,
She lost her grip on me.
She shoved me away,
Because she couldn't watch me stay
Through the roughest of waves,
In the ocean of her dismay.

The only connection she had to life,
Was the one who tried to pull out the knife.
Me.
Myself.
And I.

**And now I'm gone.
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