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julius Oct 2014
i am awakened with
     a tingle of static
     that runs across my fingertips

and as my eyes try to focus
     on the blank white walls,
     a contented sigh escapes my lips.

it’s been full moons since
     i saw the sunlight
     through dusty curtains seep

so I stare a while
     and with a smile,
     fall slowly back to sleep.
julius Oct 2014
it comes in a blur
     unfocused, unseen—
eyelids weighed down
     by heavy thoughts.
as i stare blankly at
     the projection screen,
uncertainty ties itself
     in lovely knots
around my eyes
     which have seen so much,
around my wrists
     so i may not touch
the box on the side table
     all wrapped in red
then i am pulled slowly,
     gently back to bed.
of the never-ending saga of sleep and uncertainty.
julius Oct 2014
i forget things so easily

one moment it’s there
then with a gentle breeze
it’s gone

and maybe for now
i’ll forget little things—
     like how to ride a bike
     and where I put my keys
     and how to play guitar
     and when your birthday is

then a lot—
     like all my friends’ names
     and the heaven above
     and where i live and who i am
     and whom it is i love.
julius Oct 2014
i now live in a plastic house,
coated nicely in yellow and green and blue
made pretty when people come to visit,
but entirely different when the day is through.
"move!" this house now shouts at me,
says i’m putting its patience to the test
"i’m sorry," i say, though quietly.
"i thought this place was made for rest."
and as i walk through these colorful halls
i hear the lullabies of familiar walls
but time has changed its color scheme
and everything’s had a shift in theme—
rarely do I now see this house aglow
in its lonely blue and green and yellow
maybe during christmas eve
i’ll think again of wanting to leave
but for now with every tic and toc
i wait until things are like how they've been
before time put up a brand new clock
before the table grew tired of the evening routine
you see, in this house they do not speak
they spit out words of annoyance and hate
unlike before, when lullabies
tucked you to bed and then you’d awake
with the smell of pancakes filling the air
mum, let’s go back to when things were fair
and lovely and playful and gentle and sweet
dad, what happened to your dancing feet?
i live now not with family,
just people with whom i’m supposed to be.
and so once again, i lay in bed
and pray: God, let not this house be dead.
julius Oct 2014
people are made of paper

they can be big or small
and ruled or plain,
and perfectly smooth
or with a bit of grain.

you can take them and fold them,
fly them as planes
or float them as boats
in puddles in rain.

you can write poems and stories
that may inspire or destroy;
you can paint on them pictures
of sadness or joy.

you can crumple and throw them
right into the trash;
you can light them and burn them
until they’re just ash.

but please, if you ever see
a crumpled one,
try to iron them out—
tell them they’re not done

and if you ever come across
a piece torn apart,
try and tape back together
that broken heart.
a metaphor, i suppose.
julius Oct 2014
let me evaporate
     press your hand
     against my chest
     so i may disintegrate
     into a billion tiny
     specks of light
     for i am the
     sun incarnate--
     my soul a ball of fire,
     my mind a solar flare.

     press your hand
     against my chest
     so i may disappear
     in a wave of dust that
     spins and spirals
     and carries light
     into the skies
     of midnight.

and i will disperse;

     into little dots
     that settle down
     above this old and
     humble town.
     and as you stare
     into the void
     you shall see
     what happens when
     a vessel is destroyed.

     so press your hand
     against my chest
     so i may disappear;
     this will be
     my legacy--
     all will know
     that years ago
     the sun was here.
julius Oct 2014
bang

goes our love
as we make a run for it
they’re chasing us like
chasing smoke from
the cigarette you lit.

bang, bang

goes our beating hearts
as adrenaline surges in;
as i feel your breath
in sync with mine
as we’re skin to skin.

drip, drop

the blood flows down
from deep cuts on your arm
but you say by
no gun or blade shall
our love be disarmed.

we are the runaway
king and queen;
in our kingdom without rules.
for scepters we have loaded guns;
and dollar bills for jewels.
for a chariot, a beat-up van;
our thrones are worn-out couches.
we dance in our majestic castles
masked as abandoned houses.

bang, bang, bang

goes our palace door;
the enemy arrives.
and so we run
like we always do--
that’s how our love survives.

and so we run
and run and run,
soon we’ll escape this place--
this world where they
don’t get our love
and so we run, they chase.
a friend asked me to write about a bonnie and clyde kind of love.
not so sure if this does any justice, but eh.

— The End —