And some days
I am nothing more
Than a refusal to be
Another poorly written suicide note

I don't understand.
Why am I so unhappy?
Is this depression?
Some kind of mental illness?
Or is this how everyone feels?
I don't want to feel like this,
Constantly worrying about how others will think of me,
I can't even do simple tasks.
I can't share my answers in math class,
I can't write anything on the board in Spanish class,
I can't talk to anyone in world history class,
I can't do anything right.
If anyone says something slightly sarcastic or mean,
I want to die.
I feel like a horrible person because of them.
I can't handle talking to anyone except for Annelise anymore.

I hate that I care so much
I hate how much you affect my day
How when you text me I feel alive
but when you are ignoring me the next day I die a little bit inside

Why would you paint such a beautiful  picture in my head
When you know you can't love me back
Your thoughts are still going to a different girl but mine keep holding onto you
How do I do this? We are both hurting but for different lovers

I wish we could work
I wish you would realize that I would give you my world but no you don't care as much as I do I am just a rebound for all you knew
And you know what I hate the most?
I hate that after all you put me through I am still in love with you

cause I'd rather be drunk off of all the liquor in the world than to be drunk off the idea of you