I simply will not listen,

To anything you say,

I'll sit and drink,

Try not to think,

Of what I did today.

Screaming, tumbling, pounding, drumming,
Drowning in the great ‘What if’
An action, a word, a time, a place
A death, new life, a pretty face

Each person has a great ‘What if’
One thing that changed it all,
We think its harmless,
This great ‘What if’
It has deceived us all

If only we could see the snare within,
The snare within the great ‘What if’
Made to torment, not to please,
Made by sadistic, malicious means

The snare was made with ingenious design
To **** the soul and wreck the mind,
No mercy, or hope of any kind.

This evil mind, to who belongs?
This thing with honor of the hogs,
Its no surprise, it seems to be,
This wicked knave, belongs to me

Illussion is what you are
An imagination
A fairy tale
A never ending story

You messed with my mind
melted my thoughts
raised my heartbeat and
killed my sanity

Illusion is what you are
and illusion is what I feel
when I am around you
though the pain is real

Be a better (wo)man
than the one
that stepped onto my heart
and crashed it

How could you
Suddenly come into my heart
Without knocking 
And even leave a hole in it

Picking at locks
That weren't yours to pick at
Once a forgiving heart
Now filled with begrudging sorrow

I  stand at the window.
I sit on the park bench.
I stop at the school gates
Watch the Children play.

Boys and girls interacting,
Unaware of their
Enchantment.
I hear
The sounds of their talk and play,
Their laughter and screams,
Their energy...
They're all little moonbeams.

I want to join them in their play.
Some notice me and I smile.
Curiously, some smile back.
But wait!
This could be misconstrued!

I walk away from the window.
Get up from the park bench.
Walk away from the school.