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I awake to the smell of concrete and rusted metal. Before the holes I call eyes open, the dank air embraces me. Fills my lungs like water and holds me tight as a forgotten lover. The tomb is silent but for the steady drip of water. A silent cacophony standing in stark defiance to the quiet that surrounds it. A futile display. My eyes flicker but do not open. Dark suns encased in a greater blackness. They're bountiful rays oppressed by the night that will not relinquish its hold. But a crack is made, and the dull grey of life seeps through. I am greeted by an empty hallway, forlorn and devoid of consciousness. A puddle has gathered in its centre, an odd and misshapen thing. A rustic inkblot that Rorschach would have been happy to give employ. I wondered if I could reach it through the bars. Touch it, and vicariously immerse myself in its freedom.  In its possibility. Suddenly, the grate of iron on iron filled the halls. The shriek of metal and old hinges joined the chorus, until finally, only steps remained. Calm, solemn things whose leisure exerted authority upon the air. My mind urged me to rise, but my body lacked the will to comply. Dark eyes like hungry fires greeted the stranger, dressed in fine dapper if not damp wear. His eyes were as winter, blue orbs of chipped ice. His lips formed a smile and in it betrayed their lack of sincerity. There was a violence to his gaze, an unsuppressed furry. His lips were moving, words were being spoken yet I could barely grasp a whisper. I forced myself to focus, to return from that inner retreat, and slowly, the noises of the world came back to me. His voice faded into being, a surprisingly pleasant baritone "... your arraignment is to be set a month from now, the retrial will commence shortly there after and you will be placed in a holding facility till the remainder of the trial is concluded. A noticeably finer arrangement then solitary. Any questions?"
A small part of me chuckled, the sound was hoarse, grim, more like the wheezing cough of a dying man than a laugh. He seemed to smile, a severity to the sincerity of the gesture. As if cruelty lay just beyond the border of his lips. They were moving again, morphing and contorting into different shapes. The noises they made were a blur though, fading like the sound of a car disappearing into the distance. Its slow engine purring out of existence.
From silent seas
To solemn shores
From broken dreams
To memory’s moors

Silence screams
In reddened eyes
Dying Dreams
In darkened skies

The water churns
A black abyss
A cold that burns
A Demon's kiss

An endless maze
Of times gone by
Silence reigns
In solemn skies
 Feb 2015 nothing's Amiss
Seven
I am
 Feb 2015 nothing's Amiss
Seven
Do you mind if I become reckless?
I am cutting all my classes.
I am cutting my hair and coloring it blue.
I am feeling the things I never wanted to
because for once
I don't want to think of what will happen.
I just want it to unfold in front of me spontaneously,
just like what life is suppose to be
Uncertain.
Hollowness was a gift
given by tragedy
she unwrapped it ever so
delicately
and wore it like a crown

and her words were knives that
cut the silent air and made
gashes so wide,
souls sailed them like the seas
and oh how loneliness
was like a beggar-
she stopped only to feed. For greed,
isn't for riches, but for what makes you feel
more.


Hungry.
sad sorrow
I've learned that there's a difference
Between a wordsmith and anything but
When they say they're always thinking of you
And it lies less in the handwriting
And more in the meaning itself
Maybe* if the bags under my eyes weren't so heavy
Or if my arms weren't so bony
And had a curvy body
Or if my hands didnt tremble all the time
If i didnt cry over little things
Or if i didnt rub my wrists till they were red,
when i got overwhelmed with anxiety
Or if my eyes sparkled in the night you could see the galaxies swirling through them
If my mouth wasn't turned down at the corners from greif
And my walls weren't built so tall to keep anyone from climbing into my heart
Then maybe, just maybe
You might have loved me more than her.
Knowing that i lost you hurt. But realizing that your actually gone, hurts even more.
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