when i pass away
and my earth body explodes
beneath me
like a supernova
and with it all my penchants
obsessions, desires and experiences
only one question, one truth
remains nailed to the crucible

“Have you learned to Love?”

“Have you learned to serve without
expecting anything in return?”

at the center of that heavy cross
we carry through many life times

“has the rose of pure love and oneness
blossomed?”

Vernal breezes gently rocked
the garden jhoola
the blue sky vine looping
across the butterfly bench
created a festoon of stunning amethyst flowers
Ram Namavali was approaching
contemplating Him, Lion of the Raghu dynasty
embodiment of dharma and source of bliss
my heart and lips blossomed open
a garland of melodious Ram
bhajans perfumed the noonday air
after the sweet singing session
I did a few Yoga stretches and
decided to pick some luscious black mulberries
I approached the mulberry tree skyrocketing in the
western corner of the backyard
lifting large heart shaped
green leaves I found one or two ripe berries
“Hmm” I thought to myself I wonder what happened to all
the mulberries?
Parting another section of the tree, two orange speckled eyes
met mine exploding in innocent wonder
there seated nonchalantly on a happy branch was a
pretty lil’ brown dove
“So it’s you who’s been goggling all the mulberries!” I exclaimed
caught “red-winged” the bewildered bird took off scampering
across the sky
I gathered my meager but delicious bounty added a few frozen
blue berries squirted a heap of whipped cream
then myself and Rama (the kitty) eagerly licked the platter clean

your long white swan's
neck reposes
soft upon my breast
as if listening to
my heart
and the wings of
spirit fluttering
close

Elope with me Lord, swiftly we can sail
so far from the world's undertow
and swirling eddies

Spirit me away beloved
to that enchanted island within Your
heart

In that secluded place my
eyes will envision only Your
resplendent form

My tongue will sing
only verses
that please Your divine ears

My hands will love and serve
only Your Lotus Feet

Heart shaped Kisses rise from my lips
like a thousand butterflies
twinkling across the baby blue skies

I love You Divine Mother and Father
Thank you for this sacred day

I kiss the gawky trees
zip-lining down the streets
and avenues

I kiss the young birds
squawking intermittent rounds
from their nests

I kiss the ginger brown
good luck rabbit
nibbling palm nuts on
our front lawn

I kiss the teens
their heads bent adoringly
over their phones
bungling reluctantly onto
the yellow school bus

I kiss my darling hubby
strolling with me
down Perry Street
taking in the beauty
of this sacred day

I kiss Lord Surya peeking
from behind gray rain clouds
His hand raised in blessing

I kiss you reading this poem,
my dear Brothers and Sisters
Peace Be With You Always

Glass spheres glide
smoothly over my fingers
one shining rosary bead
at a time
circumambulating
my prayerful palms

I hear crisp swoosh of Buddhist nuns
kashaya robes
inhale resinous frankincense
from Catholic monk's
thuribles
as they circle their chosen deities

Like the earth revolving around
the Sultan Sun
trillions of incandescent solar systems
biospheres
realms and lokas unknown
swirl perfectly, sublimely round
the One astonishing Beauty
that is God

We stare starry eyed
through a colossal, powerful telescope
with eyes like moons

How fortuitous are we
to be on this heavenly trajectory
Divine Cosmonauts
spiraling mandalas
eternally orbiting
The Great I AM

Hari
The Book of Life
gilded leaves flutter
purple hooded Magi winds
sweep across time
I see my name written
and his too
surely
You have bookmarked
this moment
lessons on love
giving one's heart
completely to another
egos slain
and
sacrificed for the
greater We
this is the real
gnosis
sacred sacrament

I wrap myself in a shawl
of prayers
shut out the pain
and suffering
in dark silence
illumined by Your presence
I am

The nectar of Your name
caresses my numb heart
softens the hardened portals
unblocks the sadness, disappointment,
grief, fear, bitterness
that clogs the passageways
and poisons the spirit

The dog treasures his bone
squirrels their acorn
day adores the sun
night seduces the milk white moon

I drown in the holy honey of
Your Name

God! God! GOD!

You who will never forsake
or abandon Your devotee

You and Your name are
One

Sai Ram
I lean on the strength
of Your name
1000 times
a million times
Swami grant me
Your golden hued darshan

I danced for my Lord after the hurricane squalls
A thousand arms, feet, eyes
moving in all directions
tell the classic, ancient story of a timeless, eternal love:

"If my heart were a bird it would nest in Your
heart and sing from dawn to dusk -
Sai Govinda..Sai Govinda...Sai Govinda"

"Noonday sun in the marketplace is hot and humid
carrying a basket of flowers on my head
I forget myself chanting -
Sai Govinda...Sai Govinda...Sai Govinda"

"My eyes are brighter than the full moon
embracing star bejeweled skies
All I see is You -
Sai Govinda...Sai Govinda...Sai Govinda"

Red lilies for Easter in our garden
Lilies in vermilion robes
remind me of my Lord
His soft lotus feet treading
through the corridors of my heart

O Sai

Lilies and all the universe
prostrate before You
even the Sun King has left
blue of the sky
to scatter petals of light
on Your path

A honey bee wished me

Happy Mother's Day

buzzing close to the white lotus gardenia

pinned in my hair

We had all gathered in the

Buddhist Poornachandra listening

to the Thai Monk give an elevating discourse

Monk Tee discussed clinging

as a source of our suffering

And the Buddha did say

"Desire is the cause of all suffering"

He distinguished between the

different types of craving

eloquently revealing a

higher wish which was

the desire to do and spread

goodness and love

I thought about how Bhaktas

cling to Mother God the source

of all nectar and life

"Happy Mother's Day Sai Maa"

I whispered, "You are everything to us"

David and I gave
each other bike hugs
we both are like
little kids when we cycle

Pedaling along our
newly asphalted roads
we drink in the
extraordinary
Florida sunsets
and admire the neatly
manicured front yards
of kind neighbors

Mike's tiny dog
"Lil Bit"
yelps protectively
as we rocket past his yard

a lot of folks have joined
the happy carefree world
of bicycling since the
corona crisis

I chose a tricycle
for my preferred ride
"Sai Purple Majesty"
jets down Beacon Street
Behind David's Red Cruiser

Laughing with glee
we ride off into the
glowing candy apple sunset

My lips will never abandon
Your adorable name

Sai Ram

Stars burst all around me
Your name emblazoned
on red coals my heart

Sai Ram

Till the ends of the earth

Sai Ram

Beyond tombs of time

Sai Ram endures

When nothing else exists
Eternity's fleeting breath
whispers Sai Ram

Beloved Swami
Your name glistens forever
on my lips

Sairam

Behind my cherry blossom parasol
I wait for you
Beloved

a sunstar shimmering
across the Red bridge to Heaven

the wind sighs pitifully
and purple wisteria weeps

My elusive enigmatic love
Summer turns to Autumn golds
and still my spirit pines

a sunstar shimmering
across the Red bridge to heaven

This morning I asked a rose
for a kiss
dew on her petals
tears from my eyes

All the emerald leaves in my garden
are garbed in noir
and Joy the parrot has shrouded herself
with raven feathers

We bow our heads, close our wings in prayer
to honor our dear friend, Sam the Cairn terrier
who gifted us so many, many hours of
sunny, frisky, faithful love and devotion

These memories bring a smile to our countenance
and lift our spirits beyond the temporal horizon
where we can clearly see
beloved Sam playing frisbee with God
running free through Doggy Heaven

I blow the feathery brown corpse
of a moth gently off the window sill
misting gray rain outside adds to
the pallor of the moment
I think to myself - everything is
dying around me
and my life too ebbing with
each ancient breath
despite this revelation... I know
there is a forever part to us
I sense it in the still, deathlike
suspension of my meditation
my body an empty temple
one pointed cathedral steeples
pyramid to infinity
I kneel on the hassock within
reposing in the splendor of a Presence
undefinable, a hush of love
ushers over me
tears pour from
stained glass eyes
that unmistakable kiss
sustained caress
blessed assurance

Incense mists rise from
the beautifully decorated altar
bowls of prasadam
bananas, apples, bright oranges
offered at Your Lotus Feet
Vedic hymns
hypnotic, chants
flood the prayer room
I gaze through the smoke and fog
my eyes tightly shut
sound asleep
feels like aeons
how I pray to awaken
at long last

the gold ring and chain piercing my
nostril is tied to Your starry reins
I stand quite diaphanous and transparent
in the shivering frost-bitten scrutiny
as inanimate and suspended
as the fossilized rocks
and vacant shells entombed beneath
my bare feet
this loneliness that climbs, scrambles
mindless ivy,
up and down forlorn ivory towers
lost lighthouses clinging to abandoned
coastlines where the sea foams at the mouth
and maya lurks like rodents and beachcombers
littering with her perishable bag of goodies
where is my conch?
my heart hurts
am I too deaf ...too far gone...
to hear Your mighty blast?

I attended an award ceremony for my
eldest grandson, Alexander Sathya
he had been struggling with math
so it was quite thrilling to know he
was going to receive an award
for "most improved" in his class.


His younger brother, Sean Sai,
has been a straight A student
and we regularly attended
award functions for him.
To our great surprise and happiness,
Alex also achieved the Honor Roll!

After the tribute, Alex introduced
his mother and I to some
of his 6th grade classmates.
As I smiled and chatted with
these innocent souls embarking
on their journey through life,
I couldn't help noticing, that imprinted
on their darling faces and inscribed
in their hearts, was the same basic
question, every human being consciously or
unconsciously is continuously asking:

"Who am I?"
"What is my purpose?"
"Where am I going?"

I pray we all realize who we are
make the noble grade and fulfill
the highest:

God's Divine Honor Roll

The countless times
I've left you for this
fleeting world

Ancient Love

It's a sin you even
take me back
always with the same
tender gaze
warm inviting kiss
ardent ambrosial embrace

Standing on the shoreline of my Soul
Mighty Breakers rushing toward us

Take me now
Ancient Love

Sea petals and a thousand promises
scattered across the empty beach

My sweet darling grandson Sean Sai
asked me to pray with him over a dead bug.
We placed our palms together and prayed for the little bug
lying on its back with four legs sticking up in the air.
His brother complained to me that Sean has been praying
for all the dead bugs and critters he comes across.
I told him that's okay he will get closer to God.
Sean looked at me with his twinkling wise eyes and said:
"Grandma if you get close to God you will have good luck!"
Isn't that so very precious ~ out of the mouth of babes so much wisdom

Waves are crashing
around me
by the shore

A storm approaches
in my heart
black clouds gather

I tremble in the
palm of Your
hand
Vast One

I seem so insignificant
so inconsequential
in the great scheme of things
yet You love me
to the moon and back

and yet the
tiniest of creatures
quivers in ecstasy
at the nearness of You

Hari
the blind bride
follows the eternal vision of
Your Divine Presence and
the ecstatic flute
enchants her deaf ears
only Your Name escapes
from lips mute
and tongue tied
in sweet knots
the earth and all the blazing planets
spin senselessly, obliviously past her,
safe in Your awesome arms
complete
in Your endless embrace

She... Is

Last night I took
a Selfie with God
sakura blossoms
fell from our hearts
in dazzling pink swirls

a ruby cameo
glistened on the moon's
pearl white *****

And when I saw His face
reflected in the satin black
patina pools of my eyes

the misty tears wouldn't stop...

Our starry silhouette
embracing the twilight
solitaire skies

The Shining path
flickers in and out
like a candle flame
when I cast my eyes on the world
there is shadow
when I cast my eyes on You
there is effulgence

pluck the glad strings of my
heart
kind One
while I rest in Your lap
beneath Diana’s Grecian moon
and the dulcet notes of Your Love
no worldly words
no hidden petitions or agendas
only the
sound of Your holy breath
blowing soham
soham…soham

I am He

Beloved
I hear Your voice
on the silk wind

the wind says

I love you
I love you
I love you

A tall elf stole like a Silver Shadow
past my window around 4 a.m.
in the freshly minted morning

My hubby, darling garden spirit
cherishes the dear little
plants and flowers in our yard
With care and love
he gives them their morning coffee,
fertilizing, watering the baby sprouts,
cooing sweetly over
his floral cherubims

They know his elfin footsteps
and smile happily as he putters
about in the
Wee, wee hours

Love chirps
between the branches
mirthful sounds gurgle up
From my heart
A refreshing sublime fountain
springs from unseen depths
bathing the weary spirit
And for our little
fine feathered
cherubs
to sip from

A constellation of orchid blooms
with violet flame wings
and star white hearts
descended on my
bedroom altar this evening

This was part of a birthday gift
from my beloved hubby
the orchid is a symbol of perfection,
natural elegance, love and luck

Every time I gazed at the
auspicious, stunning flower
I lit up with smiles
it was so beautiful
and Swami's portrait
at the center of my sanctum,
indeed at the center of the universe,
also flashed a dazzling smile

What shall we call this beauty Swami?
Sitara....
Sitara you are so fortunate to have
the Darshan of
Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba

Since the election
Beloved
I've been deplorably depressed
my heart has lept into
a starless river of tears
and is swept away

I've seen you passing through my
dreams, Swami
a shadow robed in raven black

Dearest Lord
Your Name is still alive on
my lips
although I clutch a rosary
of onyx pearls

And Pray..... Thy Will Be Done

When will Your bride
adorned in summer jasmine
blush the golden pink cattleya orchid
hues of dawn

And dance with You, oblivious
across Heaven's sapphire
august dome

The crystal ball is clouded in misty veils
but sometimes a soft wind
rattles, blowing the beaded curtains aside
and we glimpse the enigmatic, the mysterious

In one such revelatory dream:
I was dressed in a black crepe abhaya with
gold Kashmiri trim

My face shrouded in skeins of muslin cloth
there was a knock on the door,
shyly I peeked from behind my niqab

A group of friends gathered outside
encouraging me to go
out with them
Refusing, politely, I explained that I was
fasting for Ramadan.

As the dream faded, I later mentioned it
to a Muslim saleswoman whom we purchased
incense from.

Her eyes grew big as the crescent moon and star
Surprised and startled, excitely she revealed:

"We are celebrating Ramadan right now!"

I watch the
sea breathe
from the deck of the ship
indigo ribbons
skittle across the ocean's
vast billowing blue breast
the wind breathes too
in fact, everything is breathing
one mighty breath
inhaling and exhaling me, the ship and this whole
luminous creation

He comes to me with

wings of the morning

Sunlight in his eyes

I awake to love



Dawn rises in Krishna's eyes

Hear the celestial Conch

I awake to love



The Splendor of His breath

Fulfills me

a glittering star

I awake to love

I’ll meet you tonight
in my starry body
galaxies spinning across
our path
hasten beloved
life is unpredictable
and the next moment
is not promised
teach me the sacred art
of loving now

Your golden sillhouette
dances towards me
illuminating
the window sill with
brilliant footsteps
...One Golden Kiss...
Dispels
the shadows and cobwebs
gathering in the corners
of my mind...

My bird was wounded
with half a wing she flew
and rested on feathery clouds

The Sun was her friend
He bathed her in 5 Golden Pools
breathed light into cold dark space
and made wings from stars

She alights upon my fingers now
extended like blossoming twigs

Can you hear her boundless song?

Estranged paths
like the strangling, wrangling
arms of an octopus
that lead us away
from abiding bliss

Far from my Soul
I wandered
lost
bewildered
staring down blood eyed
from a hellish, jagged cliff
thoughts of suicide and self loathing
circling
the abyss beckoning

Drugs, liquor, promiscuity
prodigal acts against the soul
injected faithfully
brought little relief
a harrowing emptiness
unhappiness
gnawed within
utter darkness,
fear, miasma…*

Reflecting on my sofa, cuddling up with David
and little Rama. A sunny sense of abiding peace,
contentment and serenity suffuses the
room spreading beyond the walls of our home.

Sitting on the misty edge of my musings
I saw so many souls just like
us, struggling, lost, confused.

Tentacled shadows of the past
swim upstream, clasping me in their cold
clammy reptile embrace.

Painfully, I recall
my own desolate, unconscious
blind, search for stability, self assurance
and well being.

There was a definite, undeniable
correlation between the acts
I committed
against my Soul
and the Soul awareness
that I was now cultivating

Clear as a crystal ball
parting the curtains of tomorrow
I know
that as we make an effort to turn away
from all that is impure, unkind, deceitful
selfish and vicious
in thought, word and deed,
as we shut the door on hyper-sensuous pursuits
that lead us further into unspeakable darkness

Something amazing happens. A glimmer of light,
a spark of self awareness is struck.
Like blackened coals that we blow our
breath of life upon with all our might.
Our Soul blazes forth in all
its transcendent, eternal glory

And welcomes us home with open arms of
the cross, to a place of steadfast, everlasting
Being, Awareness and Bliss

My beloved roams in my heart


O Sai we sprinkle pieces of
our hearts like petals
for You to tread upon


You leave a trail of Lotus blooms

I sprinkle holy water
over the crown of my head
as I enter the sacred heart
of Our Lady of Lourdes Church

Breathing in peace and tranquility
of this blessed church, lighting a few candles,
I kneel at rose petaled feet of
the Divine Mother

My Soul enters a heavenly portal
I think of all Her suffering children
and pray She alleviate their pain
with voice cracking:
"So many afflicted, in anguish, please
help, have mercy"

Healing, gurgling fountains of Lourdes
flows unceasing
Misty visions drift through
the quiet atmosphere

Rose of Sharon, His gentle hands outstretched
appears and the soft face of His Mother swims towards me
my tears mingle with the miraculous waters
a garland of lotus blossoms floating
on the Cosmic Sea

Hymns gush forth from my grateful heart
echoing through the empty church:

"Joyful, joyful we adore Thee
God of Glory, Lord of Love
Hearts unfold like flowers
before Thee, opening to the
Sun above"

I've vowed to do what pleases
Him
after all to secure Him
is our whole existence

Vital breath, the song we all share
emanates from
Him

Red Rivers, streams flowing
through our veins, arteries
originate from Him

Resplendent Sun that dawns
awakens each day
is sent by Him

I press His hand to
my fluttering heart
knowing without Him
it is a hollow, empty shell

Without Him
How can I, or anyone
Be.......?

My heart smiled
no... giggled like a giddy
gopi maiden
all day long

Last night
during the star drenched
nocturne hours
my darling Sai Giridhari
blessed me with His euphoric darshan

O the scent of Sai
the mandarin robed form
curly mane and probing eyes
clings to me like a rare perfume
overpowering all sense of
ego and separate identity
that undiluted bliss
very essence of Self
Presence of God

Sai Nandalala
under nightfall’s luminous cape
I run madly to the edge of my dreams
searching for my beloved
drunk on the nectar of Your Name
I swoon Body, Mind and Soul
into Your.....................

Infinitely Waxing Embrace

We meditated on the beach a little after sunrise
dawn poured gold over the ancient pages of the
Bhagavad Gita

As David read from that sacred text
seagulls paused mid-air and sand pipers
stood transfixed
pearls spilled from his lips the
very ocean blue lips of Lord Krishna

“Realize that which pervades the universe and
is indestructible; no power can affect this unchanging,
imperishable reality”
“The body is mortal, but He who dwells in the body
is said to be immortal and immeasurable” ~ Bhagavad Gita

I too listened enrapt, eager to learn more
the Sea rushed anxiously towards us
lapping at our feet
its pounding surf resembling the mighty five horse drawn
Chariot of Sri Vasudevaya

Just then...
Krishna Janardhana blew His conch
rays of the morning sun ignite a brilliant halo
crowning His head

“This infinite joy of union with the Lord
is easily attained by those who are free from
the burden of self-will and established
within themselves.” ~Bhagavad Gita

Ohhhh I can smell
Spring!

Hints of mint, rose and
verdant notes

Little birds and buds
beginning to open
their petals, unfold
their newborn wings

Sky, blue skinned
celestial Goddess
dances
wrapped in whirling
gossamer gowns

On the barren tree
of my heart
flowers are blossoming

Here is one
especially for You!

I went for an adventurous walk through a wooded lot next to our house this afternoon.

It's Spring break and the neighborhood kids bursting with jubilant energy, boisterous laughter and inate curiosity showed me a path through the densely knitted patch of forest. Their bright little elfin faces, venturesome spirits made me feel like a child again, only taller, lol.

They wanted show me the fort they had built further into the thicket, but good sense reigned when I observed the thorny winding branches, briar and looping vines,
I graciously declined.

I thought to myself, "Oh what a wonderful spot to sit and write poetry... and meditate...
when the kids were back in school, lol.

What a gorgeous morning!
It was raining robins
at daybreak

Dozens of blazing red *******
surged through the
clear azure heavens

Little Cupid angels
Shooting love arrows
through the air

A smile and a hint of spring
blossomed in my heart

Waves leap and frolic
silver dolphins
in the misty aqua blue
Caribbean Sea

Sri Surya lifts the
umbrella of clouds
hovering over our
happy, buoyant cruise ship

Oceans of people
roam through portholes,
zig zag stairwells,
white washed decks

sporting vacation smiles and
tee shirts that read:
"No worries mon"

lots and lots of food
smorgasbords
fizzy beverages flow
on the merry crests
rocking to and fro

That One magnificence that

sings and blows His flute

amongst us

with shooting stars in His hair

and golden eyes like suns

His breath flows through

green reeds on the river banks

and baby birds chirping exuberantly

in their thatched nests

it fills our lungs with song

and impregnates our hearts

with love indistinguishable

when we kiss His shimmering feet

We caress the starry lips of the Universe