Friday night,
I got high
and watched an old film:
The Neverending Story

So many simple shots
and scenes
played back in my memory
at the exact time they
were displayed on screen
It was beautiful
I smiled fondly
as I remembered them all

Then one shot came into view
One I don't recall
Something simple—
People running across a field

And I bawled

This is The Neverending Story
Yet,
we all die

I bawled

You can't be strong all the time;
Sometimes it's okay to be weak

But I have a feeling
if you use less energy
trying to be strong,
you'll find you're already
stronger than you realize

And sometimes
strength isn't the answer
Sometimes
your small, soft hands
are exactly what's needed
by someone in pain

Maybe you're good enough
just as you are

You know how
some want to
fix their lover
and others badly
need fixing—
What if you're both?

I miss
being in love,
and I'm afraid
it only happens
one time

I'm sorry, M,
but you've just met
an unhealthy man

Being in your line of
work, you could probably
find a diagnosis if you tried
Instead of hour-long
sessions, you'll see it
after weeks of just
hanging out and talking

If you're good with
body language,
you may already
have some idea
that not everything is
wonderful inside me
And as time goes by,
I'll reveal my story
and what goes on within

You are free to choose,
as am I;
I do not know
if you're right for me
And I'm also reluctant
to make that decision
because I am so lonely
I could imagine you
to be broken as well
Being hard of hearing,
I'm sure,
comes with difficulty

But I need a connection
I need a soft-hearted girl
One who can absorb me
And I don't know
if that's someone you can be

While fools burn my city down,
Even though you ****** me over,
Lied to me several times,
And are now with someone else,
All I want to do is tell you
I hope you stay safe tonight

You...
I'm not sure what to write about you
I wonder if you can see my hurt
You say you're a very anxious person
And that you had a panic attack
And that's why you started counseling
The way you carry yourself, though,
Seems like you have it all together
When you look at me,
Do you see what's going on inside?
Can you see my past?
My recent history?
I don't know what to do or say or think
I haven't kissed you
Do I want to?
I like our goodbye hugs
I notice you are a little cuter to me each time we meet
Tonight for the first time, though,
My last love came to mind for no apparent reason
It was only the anger and pain
Not love (or infatuation)
But she is still in the way
And I need to take it slow
I just hope our feelings line up
Whether or not we continue to grow