i should not have opened the gates
once i heard the gallops of your horse
and the music of you, clad in metal armour,
you were not the knight who would save the damsel in distress i made myself up to be.

i studied your body like i would the sky,
tracing constellations into your skin as you hummed
what sounded like the clouds would when they move.

andromeda on your throat, aquarius along your collarbones,
canis major covered your chest, gemini on your right shoulder.
i didn't want to leave when you told me that you loved me.

leo graced your left shoulder, just slightly down your back,
your stomach wore lyra, lopsided, like your smile.
sometimes i couldn't breathe at the thought of losing you.

orion on one hip, pisces on the other, my lips on both,
scorpius, dangerous, starting on your inner thigh.
but it was that loving you that scared me more than losing you.

taurus, ursa major, both on your calves,
body trembling as i traced virgo onto your ankles.
i couldn't hold on, i couldn't breathe, i couldn't understand.

i always saved libra for last, a balance scale,
over the entirety of your back, my safe haven.
breaking the scale when i leaned over, lips against your ear,
*we can't exist together.

i am not afraid to say i need you

the last thing i want to happen
is for you to leave

darling, you're breaking my heart.

i've heard stories like legends about you
they say you are wildfire;
danger, trouble, sweltering heat that hurts.
you set yourself ablaze in hearts that are bound to turn to ashes
and these ashes, you take and merely blow away into the wind.

yet in the dark of night,
i saw your light
and not knowing i needed it so much,
i followed your fires even if the stars told me to turn away
and when i was close enough, i did not see the horror i always heard of
but instead, i found you, in all your radiance, in your sunlit smiles

i am in love with your light, but i've been told to never play with fire

as i inch closer and closer to you
i feel your flames
blazing, dancing, scorching my skin, blinding me
but still, you light the way home

please do not look at me
so the butterflies in my stomach stop fluttering so achingly
please do not laugh with me
so your boyish grin does not find its way to my twilight dreams
please do not speak to me
so your winsome words are not all i hear in the summer daze
please do not care for me
so i do not believe you'll be there when i need someone in the dark of night
but instead,
please walk away from me
so i will get used to how it feels when you leave
please ignore me
so i forget the beautiful mind of yours that enthrals me
please be truthful to me, show me you don't care
so i know i am of no significance among the people in your life
please, break my heart already
so i have a reason to believe you will never be mine