You explained how
your country is requiring men your age
to join the force
and serve for some years,
but that was nothing like your
voluntary obligation to your dreams
to become a valiant fighter pilot
and so

You said goodbye.

I understood that.
My dad was a soldier as well,
but instead of the sky,
he was a man of the seas and distant shores.

What I didn't understand was
how my mother
could possibly love someone
who was barely even there
but now

*I think I do.

Malalaman mo agad kung ako ay ako galing sa
Aking boses na sa sobrang lakas at tinis,
Rinig hanggang sa kabilang kanto; pero baka
Gulat ang iyong aabutin kung makita ****
E**to, and liit lang ng tangkad ko!

A coffee stain on my poetry,
Pottery of shadows showered

Along the hallow pavements
Of my memory.

Each has its own reason for
Being, there and here.

Not until the skyline has been
Invaded by the dawn,

And a new beginning is another
Closing of meanings.

Not until the skyline has been
Invaded by the dawn,

And a new meaning is another
Madness of being.

I shouldn't let it bother me.
I'm starting to think
there's something wrong with my head.
I'd like to think everyone would tell me to let go.
I'd like to think I would if I knew how.
I still write you poems.
Not on paper of course,
I can't just leave them around your house anymore.
I found one in the corner of my ceiling last night.
It had something about the ocean and your skin.
I smiled.
I've forgotten the way you looked at me.
It's better this way.
It's exhausting;
knowing you still exist, figuring out if I still do too.
You understood,
that's more than I can say for anyone else.
Most days break me.
I stand up most of the time
and remember how you taught me that's okay.