sleep deprived and head on overdrive. heart racing a mile a minute at the thought of you and i.
la vie en rose, blissfully tragic.

patriarchy of love and deep desire has taken ahold of my heart once more.

the tyranny of sadness and despair has made its rule ever so present over my entire body and soul.

the whimsical peace of happiness, that has made itself a mirage once again.

this is the world inside.

that feeling
when you're driving down the interstate
at a hundred miles per hour
and you're staring out the car window
trying to focus on one object
flying by your vision
but you can't
because it's all going to fast
and your eyes only glitch
unable to grasp stability
and everything is blurred
through speed and tears
while your heart rate escalates
with the cars momentum

that feeling
is the state my mind is in
grasping at everything
yet unable to hold on to anything
frantic and in shambles

s.s

i lost you slowly

and i believe that made it hurt more because you weren't just gone at once. bits of you slipped unknowingly through my fingers until one day i realized you were missing and the girl in the mirror never stops crying and she carried a tiredness from more than just a lack of sleep and she had lost you.

she had lost you and she doesn't know where to search.

love,
a version of you forever lost

s.s

people's minds are terrible places
like the devil's dark oasis
and it may be better not to know
what happens behind those closed doors
for in the crevices of our brains
live haunting demons left untamed
where people dream and fantasize
of selfish deeds and taking lives

s.s

everything about you
was soft
from the way you brushed my hair away from my face
and gently kissed my cheek
to the way you rested your hand on my back
or slipped it securely into mine
everything was soft
except for the way you looked at me
for your eyes were hungry
and drowned in desire
but they were rough waters
i would love to slip under

s.s

and still
when i hear your name
something inside me
goes weak
and i ache
for you
to come home