Is it sad that I feel the most beautiful when I'm standing in front of my mirror half naked? When I feel the most ****.
I've never had the room to cry about a bad weight complex.
I've always been beautifully thin and  no angle not pleasing to look at...or so I've been told....

Told by the same male who broke down my walls and worked his hardest to get in...
only to see the beautiful body under this princess' gown.
The male who broke my walls and when left broke my heart leaving this beautiful body
empty.

I look in the mirror in my new lingerie feeling beautiful...feeling fake, because every time I see myself like this reminds me of how I looked just like this. Just as pretty, just as **** in my underclothes as I did then.  And it feels so wrong and so right that I stopped looking.

God, I crave that touch...
It doesn't matter where, no.
Just that touch.
And I only crave it from you.
That splendid moment of anticipation
only being met with a touch:
a touch that means next to nothing
other than the fact it is the first touch.
The touch that makes you beg for more.

I got a piece of candy from a girl about half my age. She called it her happy-pick-me-up. It was not as catchy as i think she thought it was. Yet she felt i needed it more than her...i was smiling on the bus when she gave me this but still she knew that plastered smile. As if i knew her i gave her a hug and felt the warmth of a learning soul.  I opened the candy with a smile and let the little piece of butterscotch melt over my tongue.  i knew it was just some cheap dollar store candy but it felt like a little happy-pick-me-up. She got off the bus at the next stop and she didnt wave goodbye or ask my name she left as if nothing had happened...
But something had happened a simple candy had seeped into a dark heart making me wish to take that girl home with me and speak to her for hours. made me wish to smile and cry in front of all three people left of the bus...as the butterscotch melted i craved more. more happy-pick-me-up's.

The pain of what seems right and what you really want is always there....
Insanity and passion or sanity and security is the only choice in this world.

I will always choose the passion...
I will always fall for the phantom.
I will always fall for the insanity in the angel of music's keep.

And if that makes me wrong, drop the chandelier.

That night we danced until the party was over for some.
It was fun and I wished it always felt like that...and we weren't even together.
It was so loud when I whispered into your  ear  youmissed it..
You thought I wanted to meet you somewhere....
And I wish I had.
Guess we both missed the chance for sparks...

And what happens when you're not strong enough to save yourself. When you've gone to far, worked to hard and there is no more...










....what then