here is what
we are not
going to do

we are not going to
play taylor swift’s
latest album a
half dozen times

and we are not going to
get drunk on ****** sweet red
wine from a three liter bag
mixed with lime gin

and what we are most
certainly not doing today

is crying
and crying
and crying
and crying

mostly over what
didn’t happen
and what won’t happen
and what can’t happen

not
doing
that
today

and we are not
slipping darkly
down into the space
between the bathroom floor
and reality where
the bath mat lives and
i start to get afraid of myself

we are not falling
into the trap
of blood on skin
like drops of that bad
red wine dried and
left to oxidize

so here’s to what we’re
not going to do today

but then what
are we going
to do today?

older beginnings,
newer endings
airbrushing
our former selves
reconfigured shadows
painted in our likeness,
perverse substitutes
for who we once were
inside

with each subtle layering,
we forge expectations
of unreality
patterning behavior
to society's desires,
but what of the integrity
that underlies
the gross insincerity

do we fabricate
perpetual lies
to belie ourselves
and so assume  
the carnivalesque expression,
the idealized deception
of what we classify
as real
or do we rupture
the glass mosaic
recapture the marred
face beneath, the beauty
behind
our beast

leave the levain out overnight
don’t overwork it in the morning, knead gently
mist the inside of the dutch oven to create steam

this crust your crowning achievement, you
capture it from every angle
shy to dig in

savor the feeling of a chest swelled with pride

and then ugly, uninvited, the memory of his
swelled for a different reason, a
distraction

even on your sweetest day

I could coat this love with chocolate
But, love, that wont stop the rot of it
No matter what I do
You’re still gonna decay
So nothing should stop me from walking away
All these proud words, I’ll still stay
Wouldn’t it not matter for you
either way?

Cause a heart like yours that’s slowly deteriorating
I can promise you, love, is more than infuriating
You trample my flowers
No words, no guilt
I’ll grow them again just to watch them wilt
I’ll grow them and you’ll ruin all that I’ve built
Let’s just cover this heart with a chocolate gilt

And then, replace my soil with
Soiled confections
All in the name of earning
Your bitter affections