they all tell me
you’ll regret leaving.
they drill into my head
that one day you’re gonna
come crawling back to me
tears in your eyes
begging me to let you
hold me again.
they say that
you’ll realize what you lost.

every night i sit and think
and i remember
how stubborn you were
when i told you that you
had something so special
within you.
and you would always
respond in that same
stubborn tone.
and you’d say "no i don’t"
and i’d just laugh and ask you
"you just won’t ever believe
me huh?"
then you’d smile after your
very decisive "nope"

i remember how hard i’d try
to do everything i could
just to make you feel different
than the rest of them
ever made you feel
and i did try my hardest for you.

they tell me it’s gonna
kick in soon.
that all of the pain i feel now
is going to match the guilt
and regret you’ll drown in.
that it’s going to hit you
in waves
as the sadness does to me.

but what they fail to understand
and what i’ve learned about you
is that if you find yourself in a
place where you’re suffering
you’ll leave it.

and so they so foolishly believe
you’ll pay for what you did to me
when you and i both know
you’ve already freed yourself.
you were smart enough to
let go of your anchor
before i ever had the chance
to tie the rope around your ankle.
you swam your way back to the shore
while i sunk down below the ripples.

and when i finally let go
you’ll have already gone too far
and when i finally reach the surface
i’ll gasp endlessly for breath
and i’ll look to see you.
and when i finally blink enough times
to get the salt water out from my eyes

i’ll notice you
free
walking profusely on the shore.
and you won’t ever look back
simply because
you’d never need to see
in the direction that you
are not headed.
and you will have left me
in the middle of the ocean
fighting for my life.
but i guess i could never say
i blame you
for making me hold on.

for you were the one
who showed me
how easy it is
to let go.

and later on they’ll ask
how could you ever forgive
him for this
and i’ll put my head down
in shame
and say easy. he taught me
how to swim

you don't understand how much faith i have in you, maybe how much faith i have just in people in general.
it's a whole ******* lot, and all they seem to have done is prove me wrong; that i should not have trusted them that much, that i should not have believed them that much, that i shouldn't have had that much faith.
i shouldn't have faith.

almost all of the time now i can think only about the people who have left me, and not because i'm not over them, but because they aren't bad people. they're just not. so what if they decided they did not want me in their life? that’s their decision to make, not mine. never mine.
i cannot judge anyone for walking out when there is always a door in the first place, isn't that what they're used for anyway?
everyone has the right to leave me whenever they want, and i simply cannot complain.
maybe i can criticize them on the way they do it, how abruptly, or quietly, or suddenly, sneakily, if they lock it on their way out or not, i don't know.
but i can’t blame, condescend towards them just because i may not agree with what they want for themselves. it really doesn't matter who i am, it doesn't matter what i do for anyone. i can give them the world, or i can give them nothing but a night’s worth of affection only because i care to make myself feel pleasurable, either way, they have every reason to get the hell away from me.
then i start to think, well, what about me?
does it really even matter anymore to make my way up in the world and try to give off love just as much as i’m never granted it? well, i don't know the answer to that, either.
i know it isn't my fault. but that's exactly the thing; it's nobody’s fault. no one can be held accountable. no one can be blamed. so sure enough i just ask myself where the hell all my tears fell down to. you know, like, what was the point of crying in the first place?
and it's scary to think, people shape your views on love, even though i always tell my friends “don't let anyone ruin your outlook”, they shape it anyway. maybe they don't ruin it, but they determine how you determine it for yourself. not through control, but through the experiences they now pass onto you. you can't erase a memory. they become a part of your life, i don't care what anybody says. they're still there, always, because they're the one who made you feel differently about a certain color or the way the sky looks or why people **** themselves or why this answer is that answer and how that answer gets you this answer, and so on. they change the way you see some things, and those “some things” somehow change everything else, change you.
people say beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, well where does love lay? in the hands of humans who have utterly destroyed just about every single little thing they've touched with their fingers?
what did we create, or, recreate?
we made a monster out of love, a death sentence, a punishment, a curse, a drug, a killer.
what the **** did we do? and why?

there is one person left, one person who can prove me wrong for believing everyone will always continue to prove me wrong. i want them to prove me wrong. show me that not everyone is going to take away my faith.
that fate, maybe, i don't know, exists?
are some things just a word in the dictionary?
i want them to prove to me what everyone keeps on telling me when yet another soul walks another hundred miles away from me, that i “give good energy” so one day i must get it back.
prove to me that, my love, is maybe not just worth something temporary? is that possible?
does anything really last forever?
again, i don't know. i don't know much of anything.
will you just show me?

You and I both know, that words are my thing,
I'm like a warrior, and they're the weapons I bring.
But why then, can I not explain,
this notion I entertain?
How come I can't say, what you mean to me?
It should be a simple, a few words would make you see,
but there are none in my head, just the thought of you,
but you don't know that, and so I'm feeling blue.
I could've told her, with a single line,
but with a thousand poems, I couldn't make you mine.
Perhaps there is no way, to word the way I feel,
perhaps thats how I'll know, that this is really real.

But even if I had the words, I probably couldn't say.
It's not a like girl a like you, could love me anyway.

i'd take you as medication, but knowing me, i'd probably overdose on you ever so easily

you don't understand how long some people have been here
you don't understand the changes we've seen
you don't understand how much we've longed for the people to
be who they be
you don't understand how it breaks our hearts
to see such infighting
bought to our world from other pages
used to back biting
you don't understand, for us
that have believed from the start
that Hello Poetry was once a place
where we always laid our heart
we gave over our life to this place
we endured every change
when you see something different here
know we have suffered more than this strange
once upon a time
in an awesome time and place
when people googled
Poetry
they found this space
they found inspiration
they found laughter that never ends
they found confidantes and a place
to plant
a never ending garden of friends
So if you're from another site
drawn here by the skin of tooth
sit a while in our midnight garden
and I'll speak to you a truth

Hello Poetry has been my best friend
for over 5 years, and all the friends
I've found on here, they've danced beneath my laugh, and held onto me so tight
that if I ever fall so wrong, they'll make
it all right

And that's the saddest thing
about Hello Poetry today...
is that most don't try
to make true friends
really real friends
or interact with them
in any meaningful way