Orion's Belt, graced the sky as
I gazed; words cannot compare
To the wonder that a moonlit sky
Offered me that night.

My heart was a led weight.
I began to drift into
A space as vast as this
Celestial constellation
Above me in the sky.

The heaviness of heart left
An emptiness.
But there was something about
Those stars
They spoke to me in
Silent whispers, gentle caress
A love I needed.
A night I wished could marry me.

I wanted enveloping with love
And I searched,
Continents and oceans,
Lands and skies...

You never wanted me,
You wanted the idea of me
The shining diamond so comparable
To the night.

You saw what could be.
And I allowed you to dim
Then so subtly steal
Light I'd filled myself with
Since a child.

© Sia Jane

Anaïs Nin once wrote;
'And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.'

Life has been a roller coaster, few words
describe this journey, taken,
swaying from belief to imperforate betrayal,
doubting all I am, do
and in, an unfathomable manner, enticing myself,
to the darkness, where I may find resolve
allowing me to not only, wholly, scratch the surface,
but dig deeper into the skin,
cutting through skin, membrane, muscle
I delve right into my bones,
the veins in my body flow,
with rhetoric and rhyme, infiniteness
climbing up the walls, the skin tears
a sempiternity of knowledge pours,
red sanguine fluid,
purge my body, pierce my mind
a carcass remains, ready
for devour.

© Sia Jane

Please feel free to learn more about me and my writing on the Facebook page I just started.
My poetry at present is really concerning the fears I have about finally widening my audience to my work.
https://www.facebook.com/Siajanewords

It was akin to
her very first
kiss.
That unknown
sensation of what
two
parted lips tasted.
Pressed together
mouths slightly
apart.
An unnerving move
tilting heads discovering
lands
tastes never savoured.
****** territory
not a single
bourbon.
No intoxicating
malt to liquor her up
trails
of poison ivy.
Painful to those
wandering hands
tracing.
A woman's silhouette
finding ridges
curves
of a body.
Telling a thousand stories
scarred histories
marked.
The bark of natures trees
bearing wars of
times
passed through ages.
At the tap root
her deep enveloping
soul.
Foreboding hazel
green eyes
surrendering
a rose guarded quintessence.
Locked lips
red vines capture
her.
Tropical pitcher plant
carnivore consumption
you
better, run girl, run.

© Sia Jane

No pill No pill No pill
No drink No drink No drink
No harm No harm No harm
No escape No escape No escape

Running Running Running
From From From
Myself Myself Myself
Haunted Haunted Haunted

(oh this taunting by thee, by thee, by thee)

A bottle A bottle A bottle
Singing Singing Singing
Lullaby Lullaby Lullaby
Addict Addict Addict

(scratching air you love to berate, berate, berate me)

Skin Skin Skin
Climbing Climbing Climbing
Walls Walls Walls
Caged Caged Caged

(pray to a God to thee above, above, above)

Remember Remember Remember

See a window
Not a mere wall

(See See See)

Thee has caught up
With me, me, me.

© Sia Jane

Be my constellation
faerie dreams
come true
you will be
my magic
your one true love
fantasy guides you
to me
          to me
                    to me
a star will
never shine
with a broken heart
light this midnight
sky together
we will fill
until love is there
to over spill
from our hearts
blessed are those
so few.*
I love you

© Sia Jane

Condensation left, the window blind
smudging with a bare hand
the panes allow sight, to
the restlessness of the trees
and the blustering leaves
rain forming puddles

Seeing him wave, from across
the street with, board in hand
smiling upwards, glancing
the butterflies kick and twist
"Meadow, Meadow.."
"Shush, I know, he's outside!"

Her little sister was always
part of, the games too
she knew their ma, would
never allow Meadow out
barely allowed, away  from sight,
overprotective eyes

Cady patiently waited, beside
the park gate, as always
as he watched his girl, run
freedom and beauty in her
eyes, a manifestation of
the name she was graced with

Indigo jeans, bleeding
into the rain, as she splashes
through, puddles reflecting
her love, as he smiles with
bright eyes, embracing her
sweet sixteen kisses, connect

Racing through the field, kids
crazy in love, sketching names
into hollowed out trees,
drinking beer, sparking a
doobie, last nights skater
smoking session, come undone

Hours pass, dark skies blacken
street lights lead, a pathway
home, laughter echoes
she's to climb the tree, crawl
in through the window
slightly parted for her return

Great escapes, all well and good,
falling drunk and high, left
her misunderstood, no way
back in home, she calls
"Skylar, can you let me in!"
"Coming now.."

Their kiss lingered, Cady pulled
away, and waved looking back
as his skate board took him
back down the street, home
"You love him Meadow!"
"Skylar, I really do."

© Sia Jane

9 January 2014   02.21am

"We all have feelings for our girlfriends Bea, it doesn't mean we have to act on them.."

Silence filled the room
Two opposing forces
Love lust passion
Hate anger fear
What was once owned
Has now been taken
Walking towards her
Reaching out, hand movements
So slow and graceful
An aura so compelling, senses heightened
Bodies shifting as though
Magnetic forces were playing
A sultry dance acting out
Underneath the candelabra
Eyes locked mirroring feelings
Left unspoken, razor sharp tongue
Hips graze, music intensifies
An atmosphere fraught with
Tension, favoured to be cut by a knife
Hesitating lips part with a subtle urgency
Circulatory movements dancing feet
A lowly finger fondles an inner thigh
Ever so slightly withering, exuberant pleasure
Eyes connect, glistening from the light
A smile pacifying both women
Others gazes capture their movements
For now, they are the only ones
Whose love and light fills this room
Alone, unhinged, they kiss
At first tentatively, then feverishly
Drowning, they are both saved
The lovers bodies blend into one
Possessing one another
Nothing is lost in that moment
Desperately clinging to affection
Souls freed, emotions making miracles
Two lovers effortlessly become
One soul being.

© Sia Jane

She was my light, part sun
she was my dark, a waning crescent moon
the old moon before dawn breaks
showing that after, every dusk
comes a new devouring dawn
an awakening.

I take to my wrists, silver ribbons
scars from past endeavours to match
the heavens above, hell below
covered in ink, to the left a sun
to the right, a moon, both partly shaded
each surrounded by stars.

I draw my wrists together, moon and sun
perfect sync, married faultlessly
a mirage of peace, peace I crave so deeply
lovers, marital ties, bonded daily,
as human love, mirrored, a solar great father
a luna great mother.

Legends of Persia, finding their children,
among the stars of luna, sol solis
traditions of Greece, distinguish family
children of the sun, children of the moon
and on earth they did once inhabit,
now silent, skies above us we see.

Reading, the inked moon as her mind,
emotions,
the sun her energy, vitality,
as she projects herself, onto this world.

A world in which I am the dreamer, this is a fable, a delusion, fantasy, make believe

I rub my wrists together, with rigor
by magic, I see the ink lift, forming
black smoke, merging,
head tilted, moon and sun marry
into the sky.

I'm just playing another game, in this lovesick mentality

© Sia Jane

They named her Chloé
delicately winged
an entity of
magical pretences.

She was a goddess of
mythical Greece
a child so bright
skipping below moonlight.

Wild children run
hibernate within
homes of trees
squirrels, birds, flight.

Summer comes to bloom
rose-printed butterflies
predicting destiny
of living as one.

A guest she became
an adopted soul
intense philosophies of
paths unknown.

Collected lies bring
anew misunderstanding
in her the ever
wandering romantic.

Tears filled a
blessing for the one
that would forever
set
her
free.

© Sia Jane

Lost boy, parental fears
Where will he go, will he try
To be where the sky ends
Or will he simply fade
As they so fear.

Hear this music, listen to what
Goes on for him in these lyrics
They tell the story of his heart
Tears fill, his broken heart
Purging feelings through salt water tears.

The pain is washed out
Misunderstood, abandoned, alone
Heroic front, brotherly responsibilities
Big man of the house
Father away, managing life a different way.

Two children, run free
Escaping through stories
The written word, pen to paper
Hand written, dictated by those
Who sing through the radio and television.

Make believe, faery tales
A brother cradles his younger sister
He sings a lullaby he once was
Sang to himself as a young boy
As she giggles and laughs closing her eyes.

A house is never a home
Unless love is painted over the walls
Home has a heartbeat, every step
Inside every room, a smile lights
Filled with dreams, love and hope.

A family is a unit, connected at
Each and every portal, never undone
Whether a war rages in each of their minds
Together they will unite
Regardless as to whether blood is thicker than water.

© Sia Jane

Faeries & goblins, angels & demons
in the sky above
or on the ground below
make a wish on a
dandelion clock, watch the pieces
dissipate into the
cloudy blue skies
as a rainbow forms
amidst droplets of rain
peal away those petals
off the daisy braided flower
we must all eventually
f
      a
            l
                  l
from our seeming grace
be that a leaf, a branch
snowfall, even you
we all fall apart, in this
torn up land
collapsing like a snowman
melting in the heat
puddles of water
glazed with ice
how you stare at your reflection
in that heaven made pool
of crystallized water
lightening diamonds
gazing closer you lose footing
face downwards you tumble
lost in a fabricated mirror
measuring your self worth
dream state or nightmare
truth or dare
it becomes your wonderland, the
gateway to your dreams
those angels and faeries
will surrender their love
cushioning the blow with those clouds
they'll let you ride that unicorn over the rainbow
those goblins will stitch you into custom
fitted couture
majestic carpets pass with lovers of before
fantasy? reality?
are they merging as one?
unable to think or feel, was she
living or dying?
was she over the edge or still hovering
above
flashbacks of life
making their place known
in her dreams she is usually
dying
these were the ones that
were the best she ever
had
she knew she wouldn't go to
hell
as hell was her place on earth
so maybe heaven awaited
and this was her chance.

© Sia Jane

I am typing out her love, her life, her worries, her fears.
(As I move, across the board, typing. I hear her.)
Her clouds have formed. Covering. Smothering.
(Her breath feels weak.)

To strengthen is to break, to weaken is to fall.
(Skies are grey & mist surrounds.)
The curtains, open. No light. Butterflies glisten.
(A ray of light appears across the horizon.)

It calls to her. She cannot hear. It pushes against her skin.
(Insistent, for her to hear. Words account for little.)
Voices lost and heard. Spaces form. I see her.
(I wish I could feel her close to me again.)

I sense a distance which cannot be articulated.
(When nothing feels wrong, and yet things don’t feel right.)
In my mind I embrace her. Hold her. Her heart pulsates.
(In threes. I remember. I count.)

One.
               Two.
                                Three.

Over.

One.
  ­             Two.
                               Three.

The repetition is soothing.
Calming.
Surrounding embrace.
I remember.

Yes, I remember.

© Sia Jane

The man named Susa

Susa called her *strong just now
Her father whispered to the girl
Telling her of how he had asked
After his daughter, saying
"I can tell how strong she is."
Her father was given no
Further explanation for this
Susa is Buddhist, deeply impressed
By the girls knowledge of his
Own country religion culture
"You seem to know so much!"
Of course the girl replied, smiling
She explained her own encounters
With spiritualism meditation prayer
Susa proceeded, stories of his family
How he lived, his encounter yesterday
"It was the birthday of the trees."
The girl caught her breath
At the respect one man could have
For all that co exists around him
A juxtaposition of nature and commercial
Scarcity of wealth, yet such privilege
Susa, wrapping a sarong around the girl speaks again
"Everyone wants to know your name!"
The girl seemed sought after, intriguing, a western wonder
She is politely interrupted by an elder
Susa speaks, translating with ease
"This man was asking if you were English."
The girl, her father returning, both nod

Finally, they take their steps into the temple
Susa explains the blessings of the
Holy Water and it' offerings
"You can see this girl pray, place her head under the water"
Nightmares migraine nervous system
All promised to be cured by such

The secret only known between the girl
And the man
Is that the girl is shedding lining
Perhaps the biggest sin
Resisting entrance to the Holy Temple
Of this magical landscape
Pushed aside, alone she waits

Pondering why either with child
Or without
No woman of such is allowed?

© Sia Jane

My head feels like Oxford Circle, maybe even Times Square
it is noisy and bright and flashing and frustrating
everyone is walking over each other's bodies
horns are beeping as lights flash and men shout
a child screams a woman swears an Asian man calls me into his shop
artists singers shoppers never slow down
it is exactly like I am screaming but no one can hear
they cannot hear a single thing
and as I type here, probably sixty or more words a minute
my head still races and yet words fail me
there is no word in the entire world
in any dictionary (including the newly stated Urban Dictionary)
to describe what is occurring within me
and that is only my head
as for my heart
it pounds so loud that I can barely fathom
what those around me are saying
match it with the noise in my head
and those close to me wonder why there is
such a blank stare with such busyness in my eyes
rapid eye movements trying to keep up
I wobble and stumble and I can see the voices
they move so slowly around me and it is like
the air and words form and morph
it is like smoke in the air
'o''s being shaped rehearsed and practiced
snapped out by a waving in front of me
all goes numb
the ring has been pulled from the grenade
I can see all the blood spilling out on the floor
I can taste it running down my head
all brain matter splatters in slowed motion
to the floor and I scream in fear
in absolute terror of what is happening
like a bullet hitting my head
silent voices are a shouting a name I once knew
they are not in panic they just want to be heard
they don't seem to concern themselves with the blood
the mess that has fallen out
passing out hitting the slate floor
out cold
resting in a peaceful slumber
my mind is at rest
at least I believe it to be as no thought exists
I hope to never wake.

© Sia Jane

---

I felt a Funeral, in my Brain,
And Mourners to and fro
Kept treading - treading - till it seemed
That Sense was breaking through -

"And when they all were seated,
A Service, like a Drum -
Kept beating - beating - till I thought
My mind was going numb -"

Emily Dickinson

Rock & roll, ain't gonna catch my fall
I'm not from the 60's
Nor 70's generations
I'm a firmly placed, figure of 8 (oh)
Over three decades passed
Don't forget me last
I dressed in double denim
Cyndi Lauper, Madonna, Bon Jovi
I'm livin' on a prayer
I've been given a gift
The gift of despair
Protect me, seize me
It ain't gonna ever live, be in vain
Know my name
It's all part of the game
Winners & losers
It's all begun
Those bitter ends come undone
Flung, flung, flung
I'll bounce back
I'm that highly strung.

© Sia Jane