You know I said to Sylvie that it’s hard to see you with someone else.

No she said I didn’t think it’d matter now. I thought
you were over me.

Yeah well I said I’m fairly sure you said you didn’t love
me anymore. I sigh heavily and massage my neck. It’s ******* sore.

Gods sake I whisper you won’t even look at me.
You never do when we fight. I wanna say more to you.

You know I thought I’ve so much more going
on. The last ******* thing I need is to be thinking
about you this much. I’ve had a headache
for days because of it.

I just want you to kiss me. I now know what
it’s like to be homesick for a person not a place.
You’re my “person.” I take some more pain meds.
I feel like I’ve a tight band around my head.

Just because I am mad doesn’t mean I’m not hurting.

Sylvie looks up for me work and gazes out
the window. The she puts her head down to read.

It’s so frustrating I thought to think you can
just “carry on” when I’m so distracted by all this.

And no, it doesn’t help me to know I said
I was over you and I lied about not being hurt.
I can’t say this to you – it’s futile. I love you.

I eventually walk outside and leave you to work.
And **** you barely notice. I miss you
and you’re sat right there and I’m in the garden.
Now I can see Dog Star. I imagine
the star making me whole and carrying me
home. Homesick for a person not a place.

I whisper to myself I hate you.

Hey where are you honey Sylvie yells.
I thought you wanted me to kiss you.

© Sia Jane