the sink is full of my blood and spit
it coalesces and swells into the drain and down into a network of rusted pipes
never to be seen again
its so odd
i release bits of myself into the void
and it's never registered to me before
the organic matter that composites my body, my self
is always in various forms returning to the atmosphere
whether it be my skin cells flaking away from my fingertips
or my blood and spit
disappearing down into a metal case dug deep into the earth
i am constantly becoming apart of everything
but it doesn't scare me
i actually find it rather inviting

At the very start,
I was deep in the water.
Drowning.
You gave me your hand
and you gave me your heart.
You pulled me out
and while catching my breath
I lay on your chest
felt your heartbeat sync with mine
It was beautifully perfect.

Ever since
I blindly trusted you
So the next time
I climb onto the diving board
blindfold on.
I readily jump headfirst.
I knew in my heart
That I would jump into a mysterious blue
and you would save me again
like you did the first time.

Sadly
My frail body did not meet waters.
My skin did not glide against bubbling waves.
but instead
I hit something else.
cold
hard
stone
That shattered me.
That bruised me.
You broke me.
And there my body lay
Flat
on a dry, busted floor.


Where did you go?
Why did you leave?