You a man
I a man
We walk very different paths

You walk the path of the mind
To seek knowledge that may mold your wit
Into a crown of crystal jewels
Which when acquired
Shall grant you access to the royal court
Of well-known scholars and fatal geniuses
You seek to be a tragic figure of brains
And at the end of your path
A crowd of followers will weep for you
Cleansing you for your entrance to Heaven

I walk the path of the body
Strength on my conscience
Protection my aim
The ability to fight back is what I seek
But in this strength is weakness
My emotions run marathons
My head is constantly loosely ******* in
The two creating havoc for me
And causing me to roll in pieces
The end of my path
I fear
Has nothing
But a sign that reads
‘No Exit’
For when you go to hell, there’s no turning back

Our paths lead to such opposite destinations
I to the east
And you to the west

But

Our passion is one
And we dig up our paths
To replant them intertwined
No one offers you a lover that you really want
You find your own on a path
Or make your path to fit
The way you want to go

Though we’re not meant to cross
We do it anyway

You a man
I a man
We walk very different paths

There are few things colder than the sting of iron
Splitting the skin
For charismatic words can be sharp as daggers
Handle them without care and they become shrapnel

So speak softly
And if someone's words succeed in making you bleed
Don't worry, just be and breathe
Let the passing of time make you bolder growing older
Never let the hate from others leave you colder

Forget purity, be as iron!
Such strange things as metal grow stronger as they change
So staunch a defence
That when the poison-tipped arrows of bitter words fly
And your enemies are poised to leave you bloodless in the snow
You need not fear even the strongest killing blow
Nor the angry shock within your bones

So speak softly and stand
For as iron you reside within the very land
Once fuelled by fury and the fear of those who would usurp us
Now risen up with potential and purpose

He thinks it's okay
To toss her aside,
To break her bones
To hit her twice, three times,
Eight times
A day.
He thinks it's okay to tell her
She's ****
She's worthless
She's garbage
Just to tell her how sorry he is
When night falls
And all has finally gone quiet.
He will hold her and she'll let him
Because she forgives him
And she believes him
Over and over and over again.
And she doesn't get that he's the sinner
And she's the saint.
She's putting on more makeup to hide
The bruises, now dark blue.
She has stopped coming to dinner.
She's wasted space, so he says,
So it matters not if she's thinner.
He tells her she's ugly and the dress
Is distasteful.
So she goes to the bathroom, tells him
She'll change.
She sobs on the floor, her mind gone a strange.
How could she let it get to this?
She lifts her head, whispers "no".
She gets up to the window.
She could have picked the razor or the rope,
She could freeze out in the snow,
But she chose to live.
Otherwise he would win.
She crawled outside, quick and quiet.
And ran.
As she ran she began to smile,
And thought,
This is what it's like to be free,
I'm free, I'm free!
No longer would she have to plea
To stay alive.
She felt all the burdens slip behind her as she carried on,
Knowing now he had not won.
The tears on her face dried on cold,
Replaced now with being bold.
The dark blue bruises blended into
The winter night
And would eventually fade
With morning light.

I knew from when I placed my hand
Onto my belly.
I looked up to heaven and thanked God for you.
You weren't in my plan
But now you're the biggest part of it.
And I promise to keep you safe
Until your brave little heart is ready for the world.
And I will welcome you from the darkness,
I will shelter you from all harm.
You're so small now, barely there,
But you are making your mark on me.
Welcome home.

She blew the smoke from her lips beautifully and delicately, as if she didn't want it to break as it left her.
"So you just wanna talk?" She said pulling the cigarette away from her mouth and dipping it into the ash tray.
"Just talk," I replied. Calmly, soothingly.
"Alright Mack, you paid $2000 for tonight. Do you want me to talk to you naked or with my legs in the air?"
I smirked and shook my head.
"Just talk. Fully clothed."
She stared at me a long moment before lighting another smoke and taking another drag; she exhaled with just as much intensity. She looked at me, up and down. Her blue eyes taking in each detail.
She put the cigarette down for a moment and unfolded her long legs, and leaned toward me, clasping her hands together in her lap. The shadows from the lights outside the hotel room were moving with her face, until the light shone on just her right eye and the blonde bangs fell, hiding the rest of her expression.
"Why is it you paid for me tonight?"
"I wanted to get to know you."
She gave a humourless laugh, quick and almost painful to listen to.
"Did you wanna fix me or somethin'?"
"No," I replied. "Only you can do that."
She took that in, backing herself back up into the shadows.
"I have one question for you to answer. That's it."
"Really. That's it?"
"That's it."
She looked at me with eyes that changed. They had become sad.
"And what is it you want to ask me?"
I looked down at my intertwined hands and back at her. Into those beautiful, sad eyes.
"Why did you decide to make this your life?"
She didn't look taken aback by my question. She didn't even look phased. She looked as though she had been asked this a thousand times. Then, her eyes went back to being cold and dark. All traces of sorrow were gone.
"I had to. What's it to you?"
"Just seems someone with so much potential would go into school for being a doctor or a lawyer."
She smiled a sad smile. "How do you know what potential I have? Besides, I'm 33 and have the body of a 20 year old and I bet I make five times more then you do in an hour."
"You're probably right," I said nodding. I ignored her question about her potential. She already knew what she was capable of. She was just afraid of it.
I looked back up at her.
"But can I ask you something else?"
She was smoking once more. "I thought you said just one question."
"Enlighten me."
"Alright. What?"
"Do you love doing this?"
This time, she was taken aback by this question. She held the cigarette in her fingers, staring into the ash tray.
"No," she said quietly. "No, I don't."
"You don't have to do this, you know."
She shook her head sadly and looked out the window as she took a drag.
"It's not that simple."
"Why?"
She blew out the smoke and turned to look at me. A single tear falling from her eye.
"Because I am broken, and I can't fix me."

When all there's left is the broken pieces,
Of what you once were,
Of what you thought  you could be,
Remain
It's all you can do not to crumble
Let the rest fly away.
But if you have the strength to stand
I hope you last another day
And manage to grasp onto the hand
That believes in all you've done
In all you've achieved
And never took you for granted.
They are with you
Until you have won.

It was vengeful, pleading.
In that moment I needed all of you wrapped up in me.
I would kiss every curve and every fault and I would mend anything inside of you that was broken.
You traced your fingers along my spine like it were made of glass. You were delicate until you grabbed onto me and held me.
That was when I felt how much you needed this moment to stay with you, to bring back all we had lost.
Bodies wrapped, gripping fingers, sharp breaths, loud moans.
It was a symphony of sexuality, a monatge of lust begging to burst forward.
Then I was begging you.
You had brought the most beautiful demons out of me and I couldn't contain them. I was begging. I wanted forever in this short time and that's exactly what you gave me.
I let the sheets slide off my skin and relentless goosebumps appeared.
You kissed them softly only creating more.
The darkest part of night had shed and morning had become awake once more.
And in the early hours I'll never forget what a wonderful sinner you made out of me.

A safe haven is a place of comfort. A home. A place where love resides. A house is four walls; its brick and concrete. It is cement and it is drywall. It isn’t love, it isn’t trust. With the people that live there, it can still remain empty. I think I’d take the screaming and the yelling and the pain, then the emptiness. The walls, they don’t create a home. A fake smile loosely ties what we have left together. A hallow laugh rings longer, louder. This place is where screaming is silent, and only too real inside our minds. It’s a one man insanity show, yet somehow we all share it. A heart beat is a ticking clock, for when the next outburst will occur. This is where everything I knew of love fell to pieces, because of a substance. It can drown a family. It can tear them apart by tidal wives, sweeping depression and crashing anxiety. Fighting to the surface to escape embracing anger and hatred all too tightly, until you can’t breathe. Until it’s too much. To have it rip apart my home, my whole world, is something more than God intended for me to take.