Here i hold a masquerade
A precious volatile art
Held behind the veils
An unstable lonely heart

Praying it doesn't shatter
Confused and falling apart
Here i hold a masquerade
Contingent from the start

When the trees bend
From the winds blow
In my arms
I'll hold you close

When the thunder cracks
And the lightning strikes
I'll have your back
Throughout all days and nights

No matter the weather
Clear or storms
I'll be right with you
Forevermore

Some people die in Texas.
Some people die in Spain.
Some people die in their sleep.
Some people die in pain.

We were all in love with trauma.
We were all in love with the same
ideas we projected onto people
and disguised with their name.

I don't live in nine-eleven-land
and neither do my peers.
I've been monitored by other people's Gods
for twenty-two ******* years.
Coffee pots and cigarettes
stimulate my day
and keep the thoughts streaming,
that eventually fade away.

Some people die in Utah.
Some people die in Prague.
Some people never get married
or have the family dog.

We were all in love with status.
We were all in love with goals
that would make life poignant
and make ourselves whole.

I don't subscribe to the thought
that my thoughts necessarily matter.
If life is a horror movie,
then I'm the fake blood splatter.
Bible thumps and dead eyes,
are all part of my design,
and how I live and where I die
means to separate my mind.

You always see me smiling in pictures
But not behind the scenes
Because a photo can't tell the story
Of a man's wandering heart in need

The need for something different
Besides the dull everyday to day
The need for a new meaning
Without all these obstacles in the way

A change of plans with change of venue
Surroundings where I'm not so well known
Where the life I now have doesn't seep through
Not having to live up to what all I own

You can take all you want of your pictures
But don't expect to see the real me
Just because I'm smiling for the camera
There's another the story behind the scenes

I just want to say hey
how are you
and if you don't mind
could I get to know you

It seems today's
not the day
my heart just sways
and then runs away

I wish I could be
right beside you
but I'm too scared
don't know what to do

I just want to say hey
how are you
and if you don't mind
could I get to know you

maybe tomorrow
i'll get the chance
but will my heart shake
or dance the dance

And I answered:
To see and touch all that I forgot,
To remember the delta where
Immense waters rushed to
My memory's melodic forms.
     To remember that ***** that
     Broke my heart,
     How I loved her,
     Look at all the poems
     I wrote for her!
To feel the livid wounds
Of everyone fester about
Like domesticated bipeds,
Watch them grow entangled
Beneath a shivering sun.
        To read the crazy beautiful
        Of other people's thoughts
        And get in their heads without
        Psychological babblings
        And manipulation.
To watch the shadowless sun
Create a phantom city
In the concrete swarms,
To stretch every sense
Into the living moment.
      To catch myself from splitting,
      Or perhaps to split from myself
      And call me crazy,
      Laugh it off and cry
      When I read it again.
To embody what I miss
With these fucken cell phones
And internet opinions
With elongated voices
Lonely, their kind of
Misery loves company after all.

      Why the poem?
      Ask yourself,
      What else is there??