Ill feed you honey off of a teaspoon in the morning
And I’ll cover up all the reflective surfaces and
hold you in the bathtub till about 2 pm

I’ll rub shampoo through your black hair until the water turns cold

We will read poetry under that big shady tree down the road
and chase each other in the maze at the library
but I’ll always let you catch me

You’ll eat out of my hands like a broken baby animal
on the back porch wrapped in an afghan
the colour of your eyes on a rainy day

We will turn on the lamps at night and count our freckles
while we are wrapped in the sheets

And if you still hate yourself after that
We will wash rinse and repeat
until you can look into the mirror and

see what I see

Galaxy of blue and purple,
I trace the reflection of stars
With fingertips dewy in birth
And death on my breath;
Tsunami of a butterfly is
The wind at my lips, I kiss
The clouds that confined me.

I would crack it open over the sink.
I would split
               first, the stiff, waxy skin
               then the inner membrane, papery and white and fleshy
and reveal a thousand rubies, nestled in their pulp.
And as my hands glossed, sticky and scarlet,
I would press my index finger to the center of my tongue
and **** the sharp juice with such ardency
that you would become
               the pink in my spit
               and the thick in my mouth.
I would take careful notice not to lose a single jewel,
but to fully consume.
I would not mind your seeds
lodged between my molars.
Perhaps I would even keep them there as long as I could
               because you are my favorite flavor.
And perhaps after your juice has spilled and painted maps on my arms
and dripped from my elbows,
I would piece the shell back together,
tuck it in your chest behind your ribs, and close you up.
And perhaps then,
               when I had licked its walls clean
               when I had emptied its insides,
then there would be room for me.

I don't think I'd ever do it
But lately, with you, I might
Which is a lot more than ever before,
When I still thought it wasn't right..

I don't think I'd ever do it
But right now, I kind of want to let it in
Feel the pressure of something else,
Something not you, pressing against my skin..

I don't think I'd ever do it
But the opportunity to do so is in my reach
It's a just step to the right, an open drawer away
To finally find some release..

I don't think I'd ever do it
But lately, with you, I might
I've thought about doing it before too,
Maybe just once or twice..



I don't believe I'd ever do it
Because I don't want you to know
I can't let you see this side of my mind
*The one I'm too afraid to show..