the problem is I can't.
I can't trust anyone.
I have issues going across railroad tracks without making sure once, twice, three times that a train isn't coming.
when I muster up courage to look in a full body mirror, which isn't often, I check my reflection five times to make sure a scar isn't visible.
when I read ten word poems, I count each and every word seven times.
so why would I trust him when there is no proof to check nine times?

Welcome to Wonderland,
A place to feed your head.
Welcome to Wonderland,
Where you can only go in bed.
Welcome to Wonderland,
Where creativity abounds.
Welcome to Wonderland,
A place where your feet won't touch the ground.
Welcome to Wonderland,
A place to free your mind.
Welcome to Wonderland,
Where when you search, you find.
Welcome to Wonderland,
A place to feed your head.
Welcome to Wonderland,
Where you can only go when you're dead.

To me, hugging is so much more than
A simple embrace
It's a chance for me to connect with you
And share

If you're happy
I'll share in your joy
Let the happiness flit around my being
And soak it it

But not like a sponge,
I don't want to take it
More like a mirror
To let it be a part of me
And the reflect it back again at you
To increase
Always adding to

If you're sad, it's different
This will be a long touch
Me clinging to you, you clinging to me

Now is the time to be a sponge
I soak up all the bad
It's gone
You won't have it anymore
At least not in the same way

And that joy from the other times?
While the hurt flows from you into me
Through my left arm
My right is coursing with
Positivity and bliss
Straight into your soul

So next time we hug
Or even just touch
Know that it wasn't accidental
Or that it didn't mean anything
Because to both of us
It meant so very, very much

745

Renunciation—is a piercing Virtue—
The letting go
A Presence—for an Expectation—
Not now—
The putting out of Eyes—
Just Sunrise—
Lest Day—
Day’s Great Progenitor—
Outvie
Renunciation—is the Choosing
Against itself—
Itself to justify
Unto itself—
When larger function—
Make that appear—
Smaller—that Covered Vision—Here—

Let's play Hide-And-Seek.
I'll go hide,
and you have to find me.
Count to 100
and I'll off-
are you ready
here we go
1-10 keep counting
While I hide
20-28
it's up to you to figure it all out-
you sneaky cheat!
skipping right to 90
well fine then.
You think you can find me so easy?
you think you know where
and how
I hide?
You don't, trust me you don't.
Keep wandering, that's the way,
yes I was hiding there a minute ago
but not anymore.
Now I'm on the ***** of my feet,
stalking you,
like prey,
is that what you are to me?
I can't even tell anymore.
I wanted you.
I wanted you to find me.
If you find me you get my heart,
but that's the trick, see,
I'm not sure I want to be found.
So I'll change my spot
and keep running,
keep circling you and tracing your steps
I'll keep going until it's you that is hiding
and me that is seeking.
I'll ask you,
I'll ask the world,
count to 100
and come find me,
but each time
you get so close
a hairs breath away from finding me
Off I run
away
away
where you'll never find me.
Because that's the trick, see,
I don't want to be found.

Wrap your arms around my waist.
Pull me up close,  into you,
so close I can breathe you in,
lose myself in the scent of your skin.

Sway me softly, gently,.
Our bodies moving in rhythm
to the melody of life,  of love.
We're what dreams are made of.