There is something about a Martini,
A tingle remarkably pleasant;
A yellow, a mellow Martini;
I wish I had one at present.
There is something about a Martini,
Ere the dining and dancing begin,
And to tell you the truth,
It is not the vermouth--
I think that perhaps it's the gin.

let me clear my head of this confusing teenage haze
i haven't been myself in a couple of days
I haven't cried even though i really really want to
the beers, stogue's and doobies are the only things that get me through
believe me, i don't wanna rely on it
but i can't find another distraction
to ease the pain and the chemical reaction in my brain
and i'm a *******
but its fine because everyone is too
smoking and over thinking is my bad habit
i really need to quit that's the healthy thing to do
but i'm young and drunk and dumb
miss isolate from everyone dressed like a drugged ***
gonna fall and never get back up
alcohol splashing out my cup
throw up, wiped my mouth i'm going south
wobble to the couch, lay down then pass out
lipstick on the pillow sadness and the sunrise saying hello
hair a mess, life's a mess illegal substances role play my therapist
hand on my chest, staring at the light behind my eyelids
happiness hid behind a tree deep in the forest of emptiness
parent-less, penny-less and curious
dizzy, lost and depressed
the sound of fuzz on the t-v, i pull the covers over me
wish someone would sing me a lullaby, but everyone just has to die
and the question why echoes in my head so loud and clear
and nobody else seems to hear the faint voice in the background cry for help
and i think that voice is myself
and all these kids don't wanna live and nobody even knows
walking empty shell's with blue hearts dressed in clothes
everyone's sadness in slow motion for me
and i wish i couldn't see
but even if i were blind i could still feel  
and i wish none of this were real

I DON'T CARE IF IT'S GONNA **** ME
I DON'T CARE I DON'T CARE I DON'T CARE
MAYBE THAT'S WHAT I WANT
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT
SO STOP PRETENDING TO KNOW WHO I AM
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM

I want to implode my liver;
I want to taste the liquor and your name exiting my tongue,
I want you off my mind.
okay?
That's all I want more than anything else in the world
because it's driving me insane
I can't even blink
breathe
or sleep
Without thinking of you.
I'm writing this now thinking of you.
and in a couple of hours I'll be thinking about you again and again
and my bones are aching, my heart is aching
and my whole entire body is screaming for me to let go of you
because ******* it you're hurting me.
I'm ******* breaking, I can actually feel myself ******* breaking
but something in me can't;
something in me is drawn to you as if you're some sort of despicable, conniving magnet
and i want to scream so bad
but my lungs are tired
and my brain is tired, and I can't get away from you
you're even in my dreams
you're in the poems I write, the cigarettes I smoke, the sunset I look up at
you're in the books I read, the jokes I tell, the pedals I pluck off the flowers i ripped off the ground in frustration and confusion.
You have me taking it out on nature, now.
You have me wanting to die for christ sakes
and this wouldn't be such a big deal if the feeling were mutual.
but you like your girls with open legs
and I open my book and turn the page
and my self esteem fades like every good thing, every good person I ignored because of you
I hate you.
I hate love
I hate girls, I hate boys
I'm so negative, you make me so bitter ******* it.
I'm out of smokes, and I could cry at any time cause the lump in my throat is lingering
I could be the girl you could be -----
Years from now, you're gonna regret not wanting me when I wanted you.
And I hope to god it destroys you as much as it destroyed me.