yun to khush hu mai bahut,
k tum pyar jo itna karte **,
rahte ** door bahut mujhse to kya,
tum pyar bahut karte **,
mai jab bhi kabhi rota hu tumhe yaad kark,
tumse kahta hu k paas aa jao mere,
tum nahi aa pate **,
mai rota hi rahta hu,
tum bahut samjhate **,
apni majboori batate **,
par mai nahi samajhta ,
aur fir bhi rota rahta hu,
to kya,
tum pyar to mujhse karte **...........
kabhi kabhi jab dil karta hai k tumhare paas aaun,
tumhe apni bahin me bhar loo,
tumhe apna bana loo,
tumhe khud me basa loo,
sari duniya se door hokar tumhare sath ek alag duniya basa loo,
aur tumse kahta hu k sath mera de do,
aur tab kisi aur k sath tum hote **,
haan tumhari marji nahi hoti,
fir bhi tum kisi aur ki bahon me hote **,
vo tumhe choota hai pakadta hai,
mera har hak apna bana leta hai,
aur kahte ** k meri majboori samajh lo,
aur mai nahi samajhta hu,
rota hu aur tumhare oaas aane ko tadapta hu,
jab fir bhi khwahish poori nahi hoti,
tab mai rota rahta hu,
to kya,
tum pyar to mujhse karte **.......
jab mai khush hota hu,
to tumhe dil ki har baat batana chahta hu,
vo khushi khud se pahle tumse bantna chahta hu,
tum tab bhi nahi hoti **,
kyunki kisi aur ki chahaten poori kar rahi hoti **,
jab bhi dukhi hota hu,
to chahta hu k tumhara hanth mil jaye,
tumhari god me chup jana chahta hu,
aur ro rokar sara dukh mita dena chahta hu,
par tum nahi hoti,
kyunki tab tum kisi aur ki dukhi hone ki wajah mita rahi hoti **,
aur fir mai rota hu jqb tak tum nahi aati,
jab tum aati ** fir se apni majboori batati **,
mai cheekhta hu chillata hu,
pal pal tumhare paas aane ko tadapta rahta hu,
par tum nahi aati,
aur mai rota rahta hu,
to kya,
tum pyar to mujhse karte **......

Tum bheegna chahti thi baarish me hanth me hanth pakadkar,
Tum aana chahti thi jindagi me meri khushi bankar,
Chahti thi tum kabhi k mai tumoo baahon me bhar loo,
Sona chahti thi tum mere seene pe sar rakh kar,
Kha tumne hi ek din tha k tham lo haanth tum mera jindagi bhar k liye,
Mujhe bas apna bana lo tum aane vaale har pal k liye,
Har baar dil ko mere sunahre sapnr dikhaye tumne,
Kabhi mere haanthon ko choomkar to kabhi hanthon me haanth pakadkar,
Inkar tumko bhi nahi tha k tumhe mujhse mohabbat hai,
Sirf mujhko hi nahi tumhe bhi mujhse utni hi mohabbat hai,
Tumhar bhi kabhi khwahish thi k baal sanwaroo mai tumhare,
Ungliyon se pajadkar kaan k paas le jaaun sare,
Saath bitayen jindagi baant le har muskurahat aur ansoo aapas me hi saare,
Magar tanha is dil ko ehsaas hua jab toota ye sapna,
Meri khatao se rooth kar rukh mod liya  tumne jab apna,
Ab na baaki rah gayi jafa koi,
Tumhe vaapas bulane ki,
Tum mujhse door ** gayi ** chahat todkar apni,
Tum mujhse rooth jati ** ku vaade bhoolkar sare,
Ijaajat tumne hi di thi tumko satane ki,
Satata aaj b nahu hu,
Khata fir bhi ** jaati hai,
Chalo ek baar aa jao,
Na mujhse door tum jao,
Gunah mere kiye saare ,
Bhulakar dil ki ranjish ko paas aa jao tum mere,
Samajh jao dil ki tadpan ko nigahen mujhse na fero,
Aaajao is baar pyaar me kar le milkar k vaade sare poore,
Jo meri nasamjhi se abhi tak rah gaye adhoore,
Paas tum aa jao mere paas tum aa jao mere,
Ek tum hi to ** meri koi aur nahi kareeb shiva ek pyaar k tere.
I love u

Chand ko dekhkar yaad tumhari aati hai,
Chand ki chandni b sath rahkar door hojati hai,
Chand ne auron ko to khush rakhti hai chandni apne ujale se,
Par chand se poocho jara k vo usk paas kab aati hai ?,
Raat bhar jagkar jo duniya ko roshan karta hai,
Andar hi andar vo bhi judai ki aag me jalta hai,
** kar rahe ae mere khushiyon k maalik tum bhi kuch aisa,
Mai dhoondhta rahta hu tumko paas apne,
Aur tum kahiin door nikal jate **,
Fir bhi na jane kyun chand ko dekhkar tum yaad aate **,
Kyun khataye meri tumhe har baar dikh jati hai,
Kabhi paas aakar to dekho mai kitna gunahgaar hu,
Tum to ruswa ** jate ** bewajah mujhse,
Aur na ki hui khata ki saja mujhe de jate **,
Fir bhi na jane kyun chand ko dekhkar tum yaad aate **,
Choot jate hai jo judai ki maar se mai vo dil ka saudagar nahi,
Tum to bas kuch pal bitakar sath me fir se meri duniya ko banjar bana jate **,
Kabhi tum bhi mujhe aaajma kar dekho kareeb se,
Kyun door rahkar mujhe doori ka ehsaas kara jate **,
** tum hi sirf meri jindagi me jise chaha dil ki har khwahish se,
Aur tum ** k gairon ko mera batakar rooth jate **,
Fir bhi na jane kyun chand ko dekhkar tum yaad aate **,
Mai nai hu vo jise duniya dil parast kahti hai,
Mai to deewana hu tumhari har baat ka,
Fir bhi na jane ku roothkar tapadne k liye chod jate **,
Ban jaun ttera har pal ka sathi,
Kyun aisi koi saja nahi,
Jindagi bhar rone k liye,
Har baar kyun tanha kar k chale jate **,
Fir bhi na jane kyun chand ko dekhkar tum yaad aate **,
Kyun bhool jate ** k mai bhi hu tumhari raah me,
Khada hi aankhen band kark tumhe paane ki chah me,
Akhir aisa bhi kya k mere rone  se bhi tum rooth jate **,
Mujhe apna banakar pal bhar me paraya ban jate **,
Fir bhi na jaane ku chaand ko dekhkar yum yaad aate **....

i love you alot. N you are my only wish, need n reason. Trust me i love you n only you. Please my sweet heart marry me.
I cant live widout you n our baby.

i'm a poet i'm a rat i will scuttle in darkness
and shimmering teeth
smiling at the moon
because i

walked the old haunts with myself
where i would sit in the night
drink and lament: by lament indeed
i indeed would cry
like a baby
unabashed like a baby a man-baby
not a man-child
but but a man-baby

i'm no Peter Pan or for that matter
Dionysus
what a poor choice of a demigod
coming from a man high on
barbiturates...
who?! who do you "who"?!
i'm not evening asking i will not drop
the "N" bomb...

        no... i will: with my Hot-Vizier
a man who knows Islam
i swear to god i need to find release
and release i will find
i need the stabbing numbing of the heart
i need to numb the heart
once more
forget this Eden
this slow ebbing Eden...

Nietzsche and the mysterious catatonic
Pole he became...
O wait: i'm a heavy drinker
i'm a mini not-me Dionysus
imagining my psychiatrists wondering
about that original diagnosis
as psychotic
and schizophrenic they mistook for
being bilingual: or they completely forgot
that i told them i heard
"voices" in English
but didn't hear them in Polish...
i wonder where i fit on the spectrum
of categorizing intelligence as a mental
disease:

but i did tell them... square in the face:
once you let me out of "here"
i don't know where DA will be or become
with all the:
-ing
-ing
-ing
-ing                          getting to rubric stance
rather than float about like
rogue planets
devoid of concept of meteor
or sun....

Geidi Prime to Geydi Sigma...
the satellite team nocturnal responding:
skin? mostly peeled otherwise
to my imagining: crawling...
thrombosis -
i like the sound of that word:

skin is crawling with nettle-worm
fluids...
we're constantly itching, Sire...
life is good but we have to complicate
it to make more bearable
even with the surplus of advantageous tools
women have the internet
and washing machines
men have AI

and i've never used too many APPS
but every time i mention that
i used chatGPT to help me complete
my NVQ Level 3 in Crowd Management
it's as if i never actually
studied a BSc in Chemistry at Edinburgh
University...
truly...

              i never once used a dating app...
not once... i never used a dating app...
me? i just went to the brothel.
simple(s): i.e. image-talk:
but not e:'moti)c;ons)

    (there: ode to e. e. cummings
in one word)

                 Arènes de Nîmes:
ahem..
AREN (not, i think: AR Eh)
de... d'uh...
NIMZ... not

Boris Brejcha concert:
i wish i was managing security at that event...

re-calibrating my mind
no... my eyes...
this is a problem of the eyes not the mind
the eyes have blind spots...
like so: put Cyrillic not Greek
to good use, for the sake of the Romans:

a rubric Anti-St. off Peter and Paul,
a reply to the Hebrews, rather simple:

ж = ż (or rz, depending on the context
of orthography,
i.e. able to differentiate between
rzeka: river and życie: life...
now for the rubric, short... and sweet!)

/                              ж = ż
/           у = υ (because of
Γγ               gamma) i.e. ooh ooh /
/                х = CH or samo H, not Z
   HEIM INS *****
         HEIM INS *****
*****...

                      ц = c     tylko c... nic wiecej!

before i entertain the tail on the e
for the sake of Polish
i best regress to Greek from Cyrillic
i.e. these letter elude me:
are problems for the eyes
to see past:

             Ξξ
                 Χχ               these two...

because i know
that...

              Ψψ = Σσς
                                       as    

        Ψψ ≠ Π(Σσς)π

                       approximate to subscript
is identifying a small letter
a progress from Cuneiform and Katakana
i must admit:
therefore establishing chemistry writing...
equations of not words
but artifacts of mind on stone
like able to identify minerals in a Dickensian
pleasure of reading
but i will never finish the Pickwick Papers
i'm sure of that
i abhor English literature
i don't understand why i had to read
Shakespeare like it was a measure
of writing skill rather than skill of recitation
because Shakespeare is not
among the: pardon my Swiss critique
just borrowed it: LOSER poet...
threw in a few sonnets to compensate
but think how lazily they were allowed
to write akin to Seneca...
akin to all these lazily living (also) writers...

ah... back to the rubric of Cyrillic...

           tylko c... nic więcej! nic! poza nic!
            nić

                      [t͡ɕ]

oh yes, that's music, the bilingual music
of speech... maybe i can't write music for the guitar
but i can write music for the instrument
of speech that is tongue...

                       ч = chequers...

mind you if i don't find it a problem with
very popular words
like szczerosc: truthfulness...
i could not probably note improve
but if emoticons are aplenty then
at least troll the **** out of the Roman alphabet
like the lazy Cyril trolled Cyrillic with
the easy e and a
and...
but all that effort in I

щ =       šč

point being: if szcz = щ
surely there might be a letter equivalent to
       -ść

dość! enough!

       thought in reverse:

                         don't make me bring out Jan Hus
and the Czech diacritical study:
you have to remember that there is still
this strange Pan-Slavic
that no Germanic person could or will acknowledge
since: can you believe it!
they don't speak English in Paris!

hence the new Tetragrammaton emerges:

    borrowed from sigma and Caro

   ZHZH...

             ha! and what vowels to throw into it like
stones? perhaps best to think about breaths
but it did dawn on my
when uttering THe letters like so:
the frictive variation of F
that is... in THE but not in THought....
but is also the same in ALthOUGH...

и
         и и
и и и

or

и
ииииии
и

    (meat and two veg, ha... not funny)

Cyril you lazy sod!
hey! look! lookie lookie!
no wonder then: so lazy on the a and e...
bud is going to be the next
Hackney ganster
educating the youth
saying that there is not need to panic
when using AI to pass
NVQ exams:
but believe me...
supervising is dull work...

those forced labor camps in Schindler's List
looked ******* authentic...
then the mood switches
and the women arrive in Aushwitz
and then you know:
a death camp is not a forced labor camp
the snow is falling
the dogs are barking
and the guards are ******* smiling!
i mean: if genocide was that bad
then imagine:
hello eternity hello god
and the people who are last in line
are in front of you:
...
   ...
      ...
******* smiling?!
how genius it must have been
to try to reunite the modern Hebrews:
unchanged
with the Ancients of Rome and Babylon
and Egypt:
to no avail! to no, *******, avail!
they stopped fearing uttering THE NAME
to now openly testifying:
oh, so complicated: say what you will...
we really don't know how to say
the word right now...
we never did... plagiarists of Gilgamesh:
store front: Jesus Saves...

****, this ****! **** it!
well... if tribes galore is what we're mining
then at least the Chinese
and the Indians (blue blue)
don't need mentioning their post-tribal
period as civilizations

in this brief civilization yawn
of Europe
we begin tribal again
thanks to the import of labor from
"elsewhere"...
no... there need not be some right wing revival
i just need to watch Schindler's List
with one more beer
and compare the guards
at a forced labor camp
and the guards at a, the, death camp
and begin to wonder
how the logistics of fooling so many
people to the bowels and furnace of
the birth of Moloch came about
so willingly so sheepishly
fooled by a bar of soap
from work camp to death camp
i'm still rattling my brains
about the coordination of the spectacle:
logistically
if you ever worked at Wembley
esp on the egress.. outside...

i can imagine volume: of people: like water...
90 thousand people dispersing from
a Coliseum
after an event it takes roughly 2h...
circa 100 people per tube carriage...
the logistical endeavor: the livid and drinking
insomnia of it all:
if i were a police officer not a security
officer
or a chemistry teacher would i have
the same sort of language freedom as
i am afforded, right now?

money? for this?! you kidding me:
the 20th century literature is still somehow
the stuff of envy while
i'm doing this for the best reason
other than reading a book
and that's called taming the ego
and ensuring it's like a voyager and all
the suitcases are packed
because i can't stop thinking that
i'm an SS-man or a Harkonnen
because that's how i begin to understand being
human...

mind you i was impregnated with that
thought: of being an SS-man
by my teachers in school:
although i have green eyes they saw blue
since green is rare
because the repressive genes that give blue
eyes
overcame the possessive genes that
give brown eyes
but i was white or somehow grown piglet
in no tux of pink
and blah blah a history reference point
to that song about a Bomber like
a glass bottle on a wall: the IRA and the RAF
joint: closure:

defunct bombs: only architectural damages...
(would prefer that in a non-plural
expression, i.e. damage... never mind)

        so much for heartache when she goes
all teary commando and
i get to feel **** that's not: ****
then i make a quick and sudden
incision and the festivity is over
and i'm tired of living but adore the mantra:
arbeit macht frei

and it's not just that people lose
intelligence when congregating
it's just sad to behold such affairs
on a daily basis
when you could, quiet simply:
isolate these examples of man
and not be as disappointed as
i found myself being:
on countless times...
these... things... magi-jigs...
              
             suppose i didn't want to write
the script to the Apocalypse... what then?
Nietzsche had take 1 and take 2...
everyone is feeling embarrassed by simply
being alive...
or strangely alive...
#metoo: getting the jitters like a girly girly
i so wanted for that Billy Eilish #LUNCH
song to not be a ***** ANTHEM
but it's like the White Stripes' 7 Nation
Army at football stadiums...

tummy ache: tum tum...
tum , tum tum tum tum tum

maybe i might just get the rhythm right
with but one word but
the best, acceptable punctuation
(and no, no diacritical markers...
who's who in the know of known who
i.e. knows: who knows)

tum, yes... about right... 5x tum after the initial
punctuation...
but there is at least one other
that i will turn from the comma
into an apostrophe...

tum, no... 6x...
just listening to the song: sorry... right back no back
just shoulders...
and that Cain plum on my shoulder:
am i an angel or just a simple man
devoid: please please poetic audience
tactic me some variation of a hard-on
no no, pretty: pwetty please...

tum,tum...

****'s sake can't count
what i see though is:

tum,tum'tum'tum'tum',tum

       something like that...
the basics... no gradations of splendor:
just the POINT of INTEREST...
smoking barrel of a gun is a fake
when the chimneys of Auschwitz
are not touristy destinations of Giza...
am i, hearing you...
yo-yo...
sorry... ear wax... am i hearing you just
right
before the altar of the god Alter and Pronoun?!
maybe... ha ha:
by now who **** knows! right?!

Are tumhe dekha aj to lga ye sab tumhe bta du.
Haq hai nhi mera koi phir b thoda haq jata du ..
Or kehdu tum behad khoobsurat **.
Ye jo tumne akhon ke kajal ko b palko ki had me dal rakha hai.
In aankhon ne jane kitna kehar sambhal rakha hai.
Kya chamak hai aankho me jaise ek choti si khush duniya ka sapna paal rakha hai.
Socha cheru thoda tumhe or thoda sata du.
Are tumhe dekha aj to lga ye sab tumhe bta du.
Haq hai nhi mera koi phir b thoda haq jata du ..
Or kehdu tum nazneen **.
Phir kuch tumhare galon k un khaddo ki gehrayi dekhi.
Na us se gehri koi khaayi dekhi.
Nazar htane wala tha k us muskan ne rok lia..
Muje aj sambhalne se pehle tere chehre nadan ne rok lia.
Jane tumhe ye sab kehna lagta hai khata kyu.
Are tumhe dekha aj to lga ye sab tumhe bta du.
Haq hai nhi mera koi phir b thoda haq jata du ..
Or kehdu tum dilnashi **.
Vo choti si kali bindi jo thik maathe k me kahi hai.
Vo b har shayar ko kheench rahi hai.
Jaise muje kehti ** idhar aao tumhe kano k jhumko ka pta du.
Are tumhe dekha aj to lga ye sab tumhe bta du.
Haq hai nhi mera koi phir b thoda haq jata du ..
Or kehdu tum dalkashi **.
Ye phir thode uljhe thode suljhe baal hai.
Inki to ada hi bemisal Hai
Tumhe tang karte hai.
Manmarji chalate hai jaise tujse jung karte hai.
Chere pe aate hai tum unhe phir peeche karti.
Kabhi clip se kabhi rubber se kheenche rakhti **.
Kabhi aaye chehre pe to shayad main b hta du.
Are tumhe dekha aj to lga ye sab tumhe bta du.
Haq hai nhi mera koi phir b thoda haq jata du ..
Or kehdu tum koi kehkasha **.
Or vo sone ki nath ko koi
kaise taal sakta hai.
Jise tumne apni teekhi si naak me daal rakha hai.
Or kuch batein in sab se pare hai.
Tera chutkan sa Gussa hai jane tu kaise handle kare hai.
Phir vo pyari si hasi vo sharm haya  vo bachpana vo nadaniya.
Samjhdari vo nasamjhi
Vo adayein vo shaitaniya.
Or sambko tumne brabar rakha hai.
Jane ye hisab kaise lagakar rakha hai.
Kya kehna hai kya sunna hai kya bolna hai kya btana.
Kab ruthna hai kab manana hai kab satana hai kab jatana hai.
Teri har ek choti moti khoobiyon ne dil me aatank macha rakha hu.
Jane tune kitne salo se khud ko ishq se bacha rakha hai.
Jane mujme kab se or kyu ye thode guroor k lakshan aaye hai
K tuje suna sabne hai samjh sirf hum paaye hai.
Tum jaisa or koi mere aas paas ni hai.
Phir kaise manliya jaye tum aam ladki ** tum me kuch  khas nahi hai.
Ha aj maine ek kadam apne beech ki sarhad se thoda bahar aaya.
Tumne apna hunar azmaya tha vo pic dalke use shayri bnake maine apna hunar aazmaya hai.
ye padhke tum socho k inam du is shayar ko ya koi saza du.
Are tumhe dekha aj to lga ye sab tumhe bta du.
Haq hai nhi mera koi phir b thoda haq jata du ..
Or kehdu tum afreen **.

Tum khoobsurat **.

TOH ZINDA ** TUM.....
I feel like falling in love once again...
When I listen to this song...
I feel like a teenager again..
When I read the lyrics line by line...


Dilon mein tum apni betabiyan leke chal rahe **.Toh zinda ** tum!


When you carry restlessness in your heart,
then you are ALIVE


Nazar mein khwaabon ki bijliyan leke chal rahe **
Toh zinda ** tum!

When you carry dreams in your sight,
then you are ALIVE


Hawa ke jhonkon ke jaise aazad rehna seekho
Tum ek dariya ke jaise, leharon mein behna seekho
Har ek lamhe se tum milo khole apni baahein
Har ek pal ek naya samaa dekhiye

Learn to be free like the swaying air around you
Learn to flow like the tide flows with the water
Meet every moment of your life with open arms
and experience newness every second you live

Jo apni aankhon mein hairaniyan leke chal rahe **
Toh zinda ** tum!
When you carry wonder in your eyes,
then you are ALIVE


Dilon mein tum apni betabiyan leke chal rahe **
Toh zinda ** tum!
When you carry anxiety in your heart,
then you are ALIVE

mere kareeb aao,
ab na mujhe satao,
mere kareeb aao,
ab na mujhe rulao,
kaise bataun tumse,
dil me tum rahte **,
mere ** mere tum,
dooriyan na badhao,
mere kareeb aao,
mujhse lipat tum jao.......
kaise bataun tumse,
k tum kitne ** pyare mujhko,
meri wafao me bas tum hi bas jao,
yaadon me rahte ** tum,
saanso me rahte ** tum,
ab yun na muh modo,
mere hamsafar ban jao,
aao kareeb aao,
mere kareeb aao......
mere is soone dil ki,
ek hi tamanna tum **,
ankahe anchue ehsaason me,
ek hi to saona ** tum,
aarjoo hi tum ** meri,
meri jindgani ** tum,
na yun mujhe tadpao,
aaao kareeb aao,
mere kareeb aao.....
bebas hua dil mera,
gair jo hua koi tera,
teri jindagi ko mai mera banaun kaise,
meri mohabbat ko mai tujhpe lutaun kaise,
na kuj kar saka mai,
tu jo juda ** gaya hai,
ab to samajh tm jao,
k meri bandagi hai tujhse,
chahta mai paun kaise,
mai aona banaun kaise,
khud hi samajh tum jao,
aao kareeb aao,
mere kareeb aao,
meri hi bank hardam,
mujhse lipat tum jao.....

The *** Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat:
If you offer him pheasant he would rather have grouse.
If you put him in a house he would much prefer a flat,
If you put him in a flat then he’d rather have a house.
If you set him on a mouse then he only wants a rat,
If you set him on a rat then he’d rather chase a mouse.
Yes the *** Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat—
And there isn’t any call for me to shout it:
For he will do
As he do do
And there’s no doing anything about it!

The *** Tum Tugger is a terrible bore:
When you let him in, then he wants to be out;
He’s always on the wrong side of every door,
And as soon as he’s at home, then he’d like to get about.
He likes to lie in the bureau drawer,
But he makes such a fuss if he can’t get out.

Yes the *** Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat—
And there isn’t any use for you to doubt it:
For he will do
As he do do
And there’s no doing anything about it!

The *** Tum Tugger is a curious beast:
His disobliging ways are a matter of habit.
If you offer him fish then he always wants a feast;
When there isn’t any fish then he won’t eat rabbit.
If you offer him cream then he sniffs and sneers,
For he only likes what he finds for himself;

So you’ll catch him in it right up to the ears,
If you put it away on the larder shelf.
The *** Tum Tugger is artful and knowing,
The *** Tum Tugger doesn’t care for a cuddle;
But he’ll leap on your lap in the middle of your sewing,
For there’s nothing he enjoys like a horrible muddle.
Yes the *** Tum Tugger is a Curious Cat—
And there isn’t any need for me to spout it:
For he will do
As he do do
And theres no doing anything about it!