and i know i'm comin off
just a little bit defeatist
bout how they toys and elitists
and enjoy all the *****
but i'm tryn tell
you i really dig u
and ur fine as hell
ill even wash ur dishes

Man i miss my bro.... I remeber wen we was kids and all the crazy **** did. we kept secrets from momma ..kept each other from gettn whoopns and much more drama. and nw u in jail and i know i sho miss u like hell..man i miss ur crazy sayns like (dis shxt is a terrible discrimination). bt hey u give me the motovation to stay here wit momma and nt make so much truma. and to go to school so i can get my diploma.. man bro i need u out here.. life is crazy and im holdn bac my tears.. tryn to stay strong and keep myself from doin wrong.. even doe i feel im alone in this piece.. momma might have cancer and i know my heart is decease. my eyes burn everyday so i try to turn to God and pray.. i feel like he nt hearn me becz stuff is nt cumn to me so easily... i mean i dnt thnk life jus *** so brezzy bt its like things nt gettn bettr bt turn for the worst.. wen i think of strong people u *** up first.. i miss u bro and love u.. and momma the only one who stepps above u.. u nt far behind. u r really next on my heart line. i wish i can show u that me and momma nt blind and we knw u care and love for us to... its a little hard to show it from you.. ha u know dats true.. :) lil Sis

Me: What can
what can i do
Too many people wishing you were dead,
(Do all that you can when you can do)
What can i do now
I hit rock bottom from the sky,
Cuz they go all crazy when i shine
Am so lucky that i didnt break my head
Am strong enough for the life ahead,
Never want them back
They stabb yah back,
Backbite yah back, orchestrate ya sorrows
Today and tommorrow
Like it alot when you go wrong
But we been friends for so **** long
My failure is the source of there laughter
But when together they be acting luster
Guess now ill run even faster,
Run even Faster pray even harder
*******
Tryn harder to hurt me further, like my deadbeat father,
Nolonger givn a **** bout what i feel
But still im stronger like steel,
See i  aint even wrong them,
I wonder why they do what they do

What can
what can i do
Too many people wishing you were dead,
(Do all that you can when you can do)
What can i do now
Turn my other cheek no
I rise above them all now
(Do all that you can when you can do)
Remember them days back when i didnt mind my back,
My backpack full o packed coke we be runnin them blocks cuz we blacks never relaying on luck  i pick mosta them and the likes cut them some slack in my shack cuz they lackd,
We made a whole new home
They swore to never place greed before a ******, reciding them creeds like eminem,
before what we did in em streets to pull through,
my crew my life we cruise
We win we lose we floz
We never ceased to love
Is it too late...but it dawned on me it wasnt real
What can
what can i do
Too many people wishing you were dead,
(Do all that you can when you can do)
What can i do now
Turn my other cheek no
I rise above them all now
(Do all that you can when you can do)
We split tha ways cuz i wanted legit,  no more fakin it ,a  **** with a conscience look for a license protect the streets i raided cuz they raised me
Never place greed before a ****** is the creed we wrote you broke no longer broke you rich now but still robe the streets the many throats you slit for cults it occurred i hadto leave
I did the time for yall as you balled cuz i loved you all and you know how i loved Ael as her head you popped with them bullets
The same bullets i taught you to shoot
Give you the other cheek you sick,you know,
i had no other chic but Ael you weak freaks
Stick to them halls cuz im comin fo yer,
ill break my vows for her


Sending…

They say i’m creative as a reversed mime;thinking outta the box
my minds found a way to rehearse time while it stops the clock

tick tock
what time is it?

prison block – on some infinite minute ****.

neurons firing

pew

change of management declared- archetypal hiring–whoo
“Do you specialize in living positively?”
{I can try}
“Will you try to stay away from virus compositories?”
{oh me oh my!}

I live different lives as the same people:
go to the same church with different steeples.

Question the voice from my bed; oh **** am I dead?
tryn to lift my arms, but they filled with lead

where am I going and who have i led, to wander and ponder in the land of the dead

its this chilly necropolipse; filled with empty soul ships.

I can’t get warm here and so I fear

stricken by a paralysis , caught in the mists of myr

influenced by infected cysts, sickness adhere…

better deal quik through love metamorphosis
but I kan't…..—————-says who?
great big king boo!

he haunts me and taunts me into less than mediocrity

but its simplicity, don't deal with me, simply leave and then you’ll be free

of me and my moaning, *******, and pathetic groaning

but I’m simply freeflowing,

I guess I'm like an emo chick, dip in quick , then get out of it

like a quicksand pit you’ll stick quick – I do my job a bit to legit

while you sit and feel …………………………………………

……………………………this is some straight simple ****:

1+1= 2

but in my equation, I'm still left with none, no you'd think , but this ain't fun

“So leave!” I yell
“Get out of here!”

I’m lost and confused like a catholic queer
Am I sincere?

maybe

what morals appear?

when your without another and can't find your brother
simply steer clear quick!————————————————–>away from that skell *****

with his nonsensical lycrical pains

and paradoxical ego feigns

from left to up
side to side
always quik to hop
and hide n hide

non-attached….*******!-^-–<>re-attache these b-r-o-k-e-n__bits& p.i.e.c.e.s

so maybe one day you’ll do better than me

Just don’t listen to way i say and get away from me

EMO thoughts brought to light

need some ***- I think i might

oh wait , is this just a way for me…the pages in the journal get away from me

a psychiatrist in the pages….paid for free.

****, thanks ink, thanks journal, thanks ego and funeral

I just killed my ego , and it was the death of me.

As I stare back at myself I know all this pain, and all the shame came from the lame, and now has become a perminate stain in the picture frame that is my life.

Tossing and turning all night, tryn’ to fight, all the demons that come to me even in the daylight.

My stomach turns and my soul burns at the thought of all the constant worry that I’ve fir-minted in the mist of constant bad decisions.

Changing the past is not an option, but the past has lead me to where I am today, far and away to far gone to change the way I lived yesterday.

The present frame of mind is to just fly, and fry the burden that I've brought, to stop this implementation as an act of compassion.

Self realization rests on the heart of the weary, but I have just barely started, and I think I've finally found out what is truly scary.

Hey! I know you hear me,
I know **** comes at you
With intent to blind u so u can't see.

Tip, tipsy, drunk, insanity
I'm screaming and yelling
I love you infinitely.

You've ran, you've hid.
From the memory of
All u did.

Two kids r awaiting.
Keep going and they'll b hating.

Why, do u fall so far?
What if u pass out,
Behind the wheel of a car?

I'm fighting not to yell and curse,
Cause I dont wanna be following a Hearst.

You call me. Confused.
Don't like this abuse.
It's all around you.
People tryn to use....

Use your soul.
Until it's old.
Rotten and cold.

Can't seem to get in your head.
Show u where to go,
Cause I don't want you dead.

Aaron. Let's the air in the room.
He smiles and lights up.
Life is good. For the turn of the moon.

That ******* bottle.
I wanna break them all.
Tell u that u can't wallow.

Your inner strength is your pain.
And when u cry it's like the pouring rain.

I never saw my mom's death.
I can never say I've had it worse.
U sat all alone at 8yo.
And watched her last breath.

I know that's where it comes from deep within.
U fight day by day. To not pick up that sin.

A guiding hand,
A word of might.
Maybe if I tell u how much
You matter.
U won't die tonight.

To a dearest friend
Aaron.

I love you, you r my family.
Those kids who made it out of hell.
Still hiding in that hard shell.
Cuz we don't know where else to be.

I said I believed in u.
And that was no lie.
Can't imagine how painful it is.
That I gotta watch u cry.
Fear. And doubt crumbles the hope
You hide.

No matter what!
I forgive you.
I always do.
Can't be on this ride.
And expect everything to be new.

So like I said before...
Put the bottle down.
Sober up.
U can't keep falling
Insideout. On your crown.

*To Aaron.
It's not over.
Until u look in the mirror.
And start caring'.