Please let me preface
I dont like people
crouds make me cringe
and while i value my friends
i highly value my solitude
------------------------------------------
I cant picture a face
when i close my eyes
when my mind trys to grant
that one final human wish
before slumber encompases my body
and reality and dreams interlace
For i have no soul to match with mine
nor a soul to follow
in deepest secret with the fleeting hope
that maybe our souls shall intertwine
But i wish not for two to meld
for hearts to pledge an undying vow
for lust and ****** greed
for billowing convorsations

But silence

An individual respect for ourselves
two beings gracious for company
bodies laid side by side
your fingers tracing circles
on blank canvasses of skin
Where there is but an understanding
that breath so silent can be pleasently shared
and electic touch soulfull
igniting warmth surrounding my heart
of which embers burn soft and hot

Where aching muscles
tense from harsh realities
are smoothed away with solid hands
a mutual relationship where the
solidarity in thought is aknowlegded
yet the pleaure derived from presense
a caring being holding steadfast
unwilling to let me go
gentle and kind
Where the silence of
spiritual understanding guides
the instictual need for
companionship

I was born to love everyone but I loved so hard the insides of my lugs tore apart. Sometimes I love too deep. In a city too dark to love in, we overlook the mountain and hedges that have pricked the life of us with thorns, banished us in places that see silence through congested thoughts. We sing Like a humming birds. Singing in attempt to abolish the very existence of our stars and the stars we shared yet, we lay quilted in stardust and the silhouettes of our shadows. They burst into flames or kaleidoscopes, a beauty, complimented by the prophecy of life itself. Sometimes we hope to speak like our words have lost themselves in the coils of our tongues but we hope to live with strength not habituated in settings of frost and snow. Our worlds don't intertwine but our hopes do. We seek refuge in prayer during the midst of our foggy minds and the very cosmos of our thoughts. We recite the soft speech of the holy book to excuse us from the blackness of the universe. Our souls wonder naked from emotions and exposed to our own destinies created with incompatibility and dissection.

Probability lurks behind the veil of your
Vintage velvety hair locks.
       Why don't you let them grow
Fond of the silk windwhirled fingertips

       I'm falling apart like the society's white lies
When I first saw the picture of your oldtime lesser plie
          Bohemian rascal poetic spirit


Do you still believe in soulfull foolishnesses?
     Where do you play your music??

Let's chill under the Flatland area's arbol

   Abbreviations of your blown up ****** desires
Are being revolutionized and mutinized by these

Enchanting  darklings

Dear dear darling
deep  romantic eyes     &
Suddenly I'm lost  inbetween days
Do you want it!!!?

The unlayering of a soul
Like the drawback of an old beautiful curtain
Dusty and covered in a masquerade of golden tassles
Hiding the depth behind
And when they uncover
Unmask
Choose to perform
My eyes and heart are captivated
By the magic that is in stuttering toungues and loud cackles
Long stories and love poems


I came to tell my story
And my ears were much happier after
Having soaked in the noise of humanity
The sound of souls
A room full of souls


And I have been in those empty rooms before
Those rooms silent and eager for more space
Rooms echoing with soulless disconnection
And these people are not soulless but they do not give themselves up
don't give themselves freedom to be those souls

And I can only relate to people who have that soul
Who have the depth the expanse, the mind, the breadth to express
Their innermost pains, joys
And a room that is soulfull
Accepts
And a drawback of curtains
Assumes no judgement
For why would there be?
What would there be to judge?

I used to cry about feeling like a stranger in my own home
Then feeling guilty for being sorry for myself
And throwing up a pity party when no other life is better than mine
and so many people have it worse in many ways
we know what it feel like to live in a world where you feel you never belong
Then to be faced with a room, heart beating a mile a minute, knowing the curtains will be drawn back and you will have to face the music of your own

I saw a woman today, with a face filled with so much love it was glowing
A love that made me want to love everything
And I know everything isn’t what it seems
But poetry is all about that seem
That perspective
From afar


As my arrow gets pulled far back into depths of deep internal demons
I am now being tossed into the universe
Endlessly
No aim
Fired off into the moving air
I feel like a plastic bag
Im flying by city lights
And city dreams
Hoping for answers hidden in the trees


Sunflowers have been planted
But it will be winter soon
Roots are growing, sprouting little buds of green
Not blooming yet
But there is growth
And strength in the little brown sprouted roots

I picked him up on the highway because he really looked like he needed a ride
  he had never really even put out his thumb
But as he  climbed up into the cab of my pickup I could tell he was like a man dead inside
No light shining through his eyes as if there was no light down deep inside
I asked him where he was going to he said he didn't care one places the same as another..... all the same to him anymore
so I put the truck in gear and then just after a mile or two
I looked over to see he was asleep and slumped against the door

I lit the same cigarette that I'd been smoking the last three days
Turn the radio on low  and set it to the blues  to fit my mood
About three hundred miles of highway and suddenly I thought about my luck with strays
And a voice inside my head said " now you're getting a clue "
I tapped him on the shoulder but really just to verify
He never stirred an inch and no waking ruckus did he raise
I wondered as I took the next exit how long after getting in did he die

I found a deputy sheriff sitting a radar trap
And I told him what I had and how it came about
He stepped over to see for himself and I thought now here comes the crap
' But  as he turned back and stepped away from the trucks passenger door
He gave me a soulfull look  and asked where it was exactly that I had picked him up
Doesn't much matter really every body around knew the score.
" He was down at the bottom, long before any even had a chance to catch his fall!"
"BUT THERE WAS A TIME " the deputy said; as tears began flowing from his eyes,"   THAT MAN WAS A Tower and walked 10 feet tall"

Then stepping away  the deputy saying he needed to call the sheriff and coroner
I imagined a bit of that- probably -would  be to wipe eyes and compose himself.
He returned with a cup of coffee for me from a thermos named Big Marlene
He caught the smile I tried to suppress and knew,.
That's my wife's cooler and my daughter ...little Marlene.
She was 7 when she put that on there and said so NOONE would get us mixed up
You won't have no trouble here mister ( I said Dave) Okay Dave" We've all been expecting this for over 4 years now.

At one time he was our doctor and was a great doctor ,but he was one that could not be saved
it was the night the big parade pep rally and football playoffs ..one more game we would  clinched division ..everyone was so excited we could taste it
It was them on the way back from our victory over Hayes 10 cars were following honking their horns and making a grand return when that  bus  flipped..... rolling  over and into the river
It was Crazy. I was on duty so when I arrived on scene there was over 20 cars on the bridge  parked every which way, lights on lighting the bridge, dozen of people in the river- every where in the  the river ....we won the game and division  that nite ,but lost everything else to the river

I found Doc Wilson sitting on the bank talking to himself
Didn't know it then but he was not only wet cold and talking to himself ....he was dead .
We didn't know it for some time yet to come but  he was already dead ..just as dead as if someone had ...no as if he had put a bullet in his own head.

I don't think that the doc could even imagine what he could ever say to any of us.
And no way to know if he ever heard us as we tried over the years to get thru
We know it wasn't alcohol or drugs or excessive speed
But doc was driving so that was all the things he would need
Simply put it was an act of God and the sudden snap of tie rod ?

That's why I still carry the thermos all this time.
As I sat there listening ,I said all I could by nodding and shaking my head listening to the horrors of that night
When some triggering pain came over me and I knew I didn't want to hear
What he was getting ready to say

Now days every time I pass that exit ramp on the highway I hear those words
Yeah I lost both my wife and daughter that night ..I was on duty so they rode over on the team bus

A few hours later I was back on the hiway , only headed in the opposite direction
Yeah I was headed home and to my wife
No longer was business all that important to let it be the excuse
So it's possible to put off and avoid participation
I was a total **** to get mad and leave for a week while she gets to worry over it.

The deputy said all people that seem to be content to wallow within their own crap.....
......That just becomes weight
Should  remember what doc would say those times when he would and did .

" I am getting so tired of always carrying yesterday with me ...as I go on into tomorrow !".                         

Quote by" doc Wilson" Wilson  James Hall. Jr.