If only I didn't need
To forget;

If only I didn't yearn
For my innocence, and
It'd never left me;

If only I didn't crave solace
Because nothing was dim;

If only I couldn't realize
My life's unsolicited depreciation;

If only I solely felt physical pain;

If only I didn't need
To reforget.

I closed my eyes tight
Focused on the rhythm
Tried to be okay with it

But I missed you so much today
And all I could think about
Was how your lips made a home
Your tongue a lullaby
And your hands wrapped around me was the closest I’ve ever felt to beautiful

Without you
I’ve had to relearn what I look like without your eyes to see me
I’ve had to relearn what my body wants without you to guide it

It’s been 2 months since I watched you walk out
And leave me in this hell

2 months since I’ve been homeless in my own home.

i am looking
at you
as you look
at her
and though
it's all temporary
it still
hurts me
to the bone

- i'm trying to forget

On lonely nights, my mind lingers
On thoughts that keep me up
On memories that keep on playing
Its moments drive me insane
Driven by desire to forget
My mind conspires with my heart
That seems to forget
How to forget