Love?
Is that the reason we torture ourselves to go down pathways we know will fracture us?
Giving our all, losing ourself for someone more infactuated in lust.
Damaging that little thing we need for survival just to feel some sort of love,
To keep us going because we know it's so tough.
It's so hard picking up the pieces from the last heartbreak so the other that comes along just fills the gap not putting it back together.
See I don't believe in forever.
Carrying burden from the past, dealing with issues in the present.
All I wanted was someone to make this hell feel like heaven.
To be there for me and help but most importantly to love me.
Is this why I rather hurt myself then to cut off the negative relations?
Cous i'm aiming for a connection when all i'm getting are tingly sensations.
Running through mud stuck in the same position,  why don't I just listen?
even roses hurt you with their thorns,
sadly nobodly likes to write their wrongs.
Your voice playing in my head like a favorite song,
Your smile helped me go on for so long,
Your touch intensify my impulses though I know it's wrong.
i'm not hard to love , i guess you're just the one i'm not suppose to have.


-dpk

To Bailey, I know you as a baby blue in the way you were just a boy, but loved me more than any man could.  I thank you for giving me high standards of men, but now I am disappointed with everyone who doesn't love me as much as you.

To Sean, I know you as a navy blue, which is the starting color of a mood ring, you are always changing and each time getting more mysterious.  I thank for teaching me a basic crush and helping me learn it is okay to just be friends.  You were the first guy I was infactuated in.

To Austin, I know you as brown, your life was ***** and so were your grades, I was your maid.  You were more like a project and you treated me like the way you treated grades; a joke.  Thank you because I've blocked out everything good about you and can now only see your hand gliding across my face, from you I learned how to forgive without revenege.

To Parks. I know you as a traffic cone orange, simply saying WARNING: I AM TOXIC.  You were an outcast around me, but attempted to be someone you weren't around others.  I don't thank you for anything, you scarred me and I haven't been the same since you got what you wanted and told everyone I was lesbian when I realized you weren't what I wanted.  

To Jack, I know you as a cloudy, soft gray, you aren't always sad,  but you're not exactly happy either.  You taught me it was okay to be out of the norm and doing that won't crush my mom.  I thank you for realizing that love doesn't have to come out of the good times.  The bad parts sometimes give you the best people.

To Chandler, I know you as silver liquid, it took you no time to fill my veins and make me feel wanted.  Thank you for teaching me that if a guy is as smooth as you,  he doesn't really want me.  You gave me my first high school embarassment.  Cause of you, everyone calls me when they need a fix.

To Nate, I know you as a dark green, your opinion on me floated around like wind through the trees.  You wanted me life to be over and tried everything you could to ruin it.  Thank you for teaching me it is okay to be talked about because now you come over everyday and ask for me back.

To Jonah, I know you as a midnight black, the color I see when I look at memories.  I threw you away, just like you threw away my effort.  Your kind aren't made for girls like me, thank you for informing me.

Everything about him reminds me of autumn
The way he carries himself is like a tree, tall and sturdy, gently swaying in the breeze
His disheveled honey blonde hair perfectly frames his oval face and defined jaw line
His warm dimpled smile lures me in, and I can't help but smile too
Freckles dot his tanned skin in a seemingly careless manner, but upon further examination it becomes evident that they line up like constellations, each one placed with great care
His eyes are the kind you get lost in, deep green like a redwood forest with specks of gold like rays of sunlight shining through
I am infactuated with this boy, his presence leaving me defenseless
But just as all good things do we must come to an end
And just as autumn turns to winter his warm heart turns icy cold, leaving me obliterated in the dust

I am your light
Your guide in the night
Walk with me now
Travel as far as we can
Infactuated beyond belief
Lovely words drive me
You are beautiful
You make me weak
Watch my words speak
Let me be yours
Your power
Your balance
Your hero
Someone you want, and need.
Yours.
My love to exceed
I am King,
Will you be my queen?
I visit you when I close my eyes
Elegant but powerful
Never to leave my mind, 
You see who I am
Your deepest thoughts
I want to know you
The real you
The you no one else has ever seen
Show me your soul
If you trust me
I will not hurt you
Only to serve you
My Queen
Eyes that take souls
Smile that never stops
Beauty beyond belief
Wrapped in your graceful touch
So tight you can never leave
I crave you
Day and night
a fire you started in me
that cannot be extinguished.
Someone who sees. Who understands.
Feeling it's warmth.
Never to leave my mind.

I wish I had a compass that led me straight to you
It’d always tell me where you were that way when my heart gets heavy I’d make my way through
You are my survival the only thing I need led to
my beat when my heart stops pumping
You make me brand new
I’ll always need you forever
You are the only one I love
so hopelessly endlessly infactuated I’ll never get enough
Call me crazy call me needy call me lame
because you make me feel that way
but I’m a servant for love at your feet
I live to hear you say my name
It doesn’t matter the day
where I’m at or where you are
Id run to you in a heart beat no matter how far
you’re all I need and want
without Id be so lost so handsome you best believe me I am certain you are the one.

Yesterday you swore by the rains
As you advanced with unfettered access
Lashing into my sweet something
Yesterday you promised life
You even swore by lighting
Those were not wishful thinking
They were promises, sealed with an oath

Yesterday we planned tomorrow
A tomorrow filled with aspirations
You stroked my Indian curls in style
Wiped off my coco Chanel make up with your kisses
All but one deemed me lucky
But deep inside, infactuated was I
I was in love with a gamer

How so quickly things fell apart
I was your world, was I not your Moon?
Severely, tempted I was to violate the oath
But each time it rains, just as it is now
I remember your solemn vows
This, the only reason I kept strong
But then, you drift constantly like a boat

You were my last good nights
And my first good mornings
I still hold the memories of our first time
And this makes me giggle and smile
Just that you know my love
I still love you and want you close
I pray to the rains with which you pledged
Bring back my love...