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JSL Apr 2014
Blood, bones and scales
with you and your sneath
Sail me to death
and tell them my tales
smallhands  Nov 2014
homegoing
smallhands Nov 2014
I was scared of it, scared of you
Did you know the shutters' shaking hymns
coming within me, they were all for you?
We learned to detect lies and speak and
cover our boxes with musical skin
Is this the end? No, we have yet to begin

-c.j.
Erica  Jan 2015
Return Home
Erica Jan 2015
"Dibs"
you used to claim, smiling, and pointing at me.
It was a joke and I used to laugh,
but it buffered my relationship with
Men from Home
by cloaking my presence
with preoccupation.

Like royalty,
I caroused with you
the City of Sand,
safe to be free with innocence.
and the Kingdom I surveyed
was glamorous.

Then, after That Spring,
I fled, and
found myself facing unbuffered men
almost naked;
Without your jacket
I was chilly,
and my body was offered the
sticky hot sweat of **** Sapien Hands
for warmth.

Smooth operations
against my naive flesh
left callouses and bruises
only I can be responsible for
accepting.
I was generous
with the pieces of skin
I wore and tore for the pleasure of others,
hoping to find you again,
or someone close.

But this new kingdom
was not Glamorous
was not innocent or funny
or warm.
Living in the squalor of my own choices
a derelict of my own self-abandonment
I became Queen of the Grunge
and it was painful,
I tell you it hurt!

Homecoming Queen
dons a shiny elastic crown
but Homegoing Queen
wears a ***** one of thorns.

For a while, I wore it
allowed it to obscure my vision
and warp my mirror's depiction.
Scars I mistook for knowledge,
and though they have made me wiser,
it is impossible to prune the
Diadem of Dirt
when its very composition is barb.

So:
atop my head I wore two crowns
and from across my shoulders
I shed one coat.
Bruises I gained as well as experience
and a new empire I consorted.
And indeed my mind's severe questions
took my body places I doubt it thought it would ever go,
But as I return to our former palace,

I realize The Answers
for which I was so desperately searching
could be found deep in the Sand,
and that the more intensely
the more earnestly
my hands shovel into the dirt,
the warmer it becomes.

Now, I smile
As the Sand starts to glow
with the diamond fire of my own soul
and I am warm in just my healing skin.

Now, I return Home
and discover the circularity of enlightenment
as I am filled with the Gusto of Me
and of finding my buried treasure
deep within the Sand,
deep within my love.

I can take it anywhere
Because I know
I feel
I am
My own.
Man I'm feeling sad but good, sliding on the leatherwood, **** near wrecked,
Up in the hood,
I'm misunderstood, my city like a ghetto, hollywood, so I should,
Let it off my chest, never grow soft, real man dont shed no tears,
Now that yall no longer here, I gotta embrace the fears, my death is near,
But dont shed no tears, when I'm up out of here, out of here,
Yosef get a control, of ya soul, **** Im in hidden in the valley of skulls,
Closet opened, now see all the pain unfold, I'm still living for the city,
Like stevie, and I wonder, will ever get a break from the thunder,
Under the lightening, it's kind of frightening, tryna be writing,
To ya in the afterlife, dayum you left behind ya wife,
I cant think straight , see double visions, while driving on the interstate,
**** it's too late, too late, why so many up in a crate,
Smiles and tears, as the caskets appear, closer and closer mayne,
And I'm a sit back cruising in the slow lane, while I focus on the puffs, of mary Jane,
Im So high so high, I'm lookin at em, so low so low, six feet deep they go,
Bangs on my mental, how i keep myself sane, in a world that so insane,
Mayne, it's enough to make ya wanna blow out ya brain, with no remain,
Tryna get a strain, on the devils mane see me up at 4 way holding it mayne,
I wish I could change, the world but too many love the evil that curls,
Love into pain, submission I'm giving, all that I got, til my body is shot,
Open for the plot, I see the enemies sitting near me, waiting for me,
To put a gun to my head, man I'm half dead see my thoughts, is half read,
Cant see through the Hennessy, demons shaking me, and the angels, tryna walk with me, at the same time,
Put my thoughts on rewind, so it dine, mayne I gotta stay on top of mines,
Grind, sunday to sunday, so many living the life one way, everyday I treat it like holiday, no matter what the haters say, I pray,
On bended knees, hoping one day I'll see, my babies, what up heaven?
What up hell? Will ever get a break, through this madness out of my shell,
****, first it was my uncle calvin, then next was my baby zekara, ****
This can scare ya, now I see the rapture, my baby Lelei, got caught up in the capture,
Mayne, im.being real, I miss yall laughter,
Now pops is gone, you was strong, you used to play the same ol song,
Now I'm humming, the band played on, them jheri curls was on, on and on,
You used to to get me gone, with your infinite wisdom, another kingdom,
Added **** I wish I didnt bat it, the bases is loaded, with spirits, wait to be loaded,
At home plate, where the angels await, another heart is on the stake,
Another family at the wake, silence sighs see the water in they eyes,
It's no surprise, another limo ride, in black for the disguise, I peep wise,
My eyes glow red, when I see another soul that's godspeed, my thoughts red,
Nothing but pain, I can see the grains, off wisdom stretching on my brain,
I cant maintain the goetias mayne, somebody come save me, pray for me,
I feel for any, you got pity, in they heart beware glowing darts,
Splitting apart, evil and the dark, I'm paced up happy as a lark, as I park
A bullet for ya mind, not even one time, can stop this shine, I miss yall,
I miss yall, man we gonna have a ball, celebrate ya homegoing call,
No more pain no more rain, only the sunshine, that gathers the opening lanes,
Clouds of joy, hands comforted around me, let my invisible wings, fly freely,
I'm feeling glee, spirits all over me got me, freaking out violently,
Cant sleep, cuz my eyes flowing like a creek, feel the sorrows of the weak,
Beckons like concrete, so watch ya speak, I only promise,
Hang with the wisdom of Thomas, I'm not a teacher, or a preacher,
I'm just here to reach to ya, how many people  gonna read, embrace my philosophical seeds, I'm here to breed, nothing but peaceful creeds, see the Rasheeds,
Out here throwing techs, for greed my soul only feeds, to the real indeed,
I bleed, nothing but war inside of chaos live life everyday, as a coin toss,
How I can see wins, if I'm stuck at a loss, one hand ya soul like Randy Moss,
Suckas get tossed, out my battlezone, many nights I've battled alone,
PTSD just another clone, many of soldiers ain't never seen home,
Visited many nights, of the unknown tombstone, so many hearts is gone,
Chasing, something they cant even chase, im.just sit, copy and paste,
Coming off my mind, its goes dine, I'm gripping on my iron, like mike,
I see enemies in my sight, I'm hallucinating got my brain creating,
Scenarios, scenarios, black mirror got me feeling homicidal, hits like a tidal,
Wave only for the brave, I see the crave hibernate pain, like a bear in a cave, naw I cant be saved, i dont wanna be saved,
Dear lord can you hear me, take me, away from the webs of humanity,
I know you see me as a key, like Joseph to Mary situations scary,
Can even look at my family, the same I see them as the same, adversaries stay lookin for me but they cant blast me,
Blast me cuz I got the armor of soldier, hell spawns all in me ya feel me feel me???
preservationman Jun 2020
George Floyd’s encountered virtue captured
Beyond the words of “I Can’t Breathe”
A feeling now in being at ease
George Floyd’s last dying moments, he called for his Deceased Mother
Son, I see your pain and suffering, and I will rescue you
George Floyd’s Deceased Mother heard his cry, I welcome you by my side
Together we shall reside
You suffered enough, and Heaven is no bluff
Everlasting soothing peace
Praise and come up and take part in this spiritual feast
Your soul has been counted, and lifted up
Son, you are home at last
Now you can breathe and rejoice.
preservationman Jul 2020
Thank you Congressmen John Lewis for your commitment
It was your Divine Determination
But it all started at God’s creation
The world applauses being heritage of appreciation
Your Civil Rights efforts are complete
But it is your legacy for us that is neat
Your inspiring words to us, “Lean On Me”
When we are not strong
No separation is we don’t belong
But assemble and fight being determined to fit in and get along
Lean on me and continue
Yet be peaceful and yet be furious
Your Civil Rights history was the start of the fight
Freedom Riders just added more in shedding light
Washington mourns
But was given a new rebirth
You turned hope and showing the way to cope
You were the man of reason and saw vision being no joke
You woke up the world with thundering words, “REBEL, STAND AND BE READY”
Stay the course, but hold steady
Thank you over and over being part of the Civil Rights Movement
You crossed the bridge
This became our privilege
Because of your Civil Rights influence
Your strength became our endurance
Your Freedom Rider chariot a waits
Destination Pearly Gates Heaven
Dignity, Honor and Remembrance
The chanting sounds of praise and rejoice
Rest now
Yet rejoice
It will always be your echoing voice
This is not Goodbye, but until we join Heaven together
King Dre Pencasso  Jul 2019
Roses
While I’m alive & well, I don’t feel the appreciation that one should feel
when he places everyone before him, it’s only a heart being killed
Sometimes I cry myself to sleep asking if life is worth living anymore
cause I look around & don’t see fit to be around anymore
So many tears I’ve cried but my scream for help has yet to be heard
pleading for peace but my world feels too disturbed
So much love will be shared that I’ll never hear
but it’s sad how my homegoing will be the only time they’ll ever feel sincere
I know that once my time has come & it’s time for me to leave
you’ll then see so many fall to their knees
crying those everlasting tears as they realize what’s to come
a world without yours truly & the guilt of what they’ve done
& when the rain comes down on the day I’m sent home
it won’t be from the crying skies but from my sorrowed eyes
while the doves of heaven take my soul through the stormy sky
- Poetic Venom

— The End —