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Sa Sa Ra Dec 2012
Yo _,
Hoping all is well as sugary sweet flowing going more like honey beeing;
you---- and---- too-uly have been so how do we like to say so, romp rompy and we just don't know X'actly as is, as it might appear though let us hope it's not too rhymey or schemey with Pop Pomp Pompey on and in too deeply into those ity bity incy weeny little commentary boxery's!!

If you don't get my follow ups to Heaven Made'r and or Garlic Please they are in draft form which I may poem-alize live copy dat roger over and over or not. I'm going out about it never mind worrying about yourself, but before or later don't worry so much we all here are so under staffed it's one of those scarcity things we need to promote to keep all you potentially dangerous and certainly crazy types safe. We've myopically studied humanity and yes those aliens have been helping too for well let's just say here cause I'm to say not so much about it, but I've already been chipped as spared with a tag of 'IDKy'. My Mom was told as a child it might be curse but I feel now with my spare free pass I'm feeling lucky and so gamble ramble rolly and once I found out it actually rhymed with Holy so who Holy knowly's? Okay my apologies and I'm overly busy you know the staff scarcity thing though we try to usually depersonalize for both the guilty and innocent as well one as you as far as we can tell are innocent yet and charges have been brought against you, but don't get your hopes up quite yet!!!

So if you would like to consult with a lawyer we are fine by this we'd understand but understand this we do not have public funds on that scarcity list for defending such kinds of non-nonsensical indefensible, but of psychiatrist and getting locked up for this we could turn you in or give ya' a long set of lists...

And we try to promote optimism firstly especially moslty up-frontly; but know see here steer clear of what we just might need a little bit more clarity therein thereoutward IDK peeps are saying all kinds of crazy things out there we're trying very hard at keeping you safe from all those other's now. I think they call themselves all kinds of crazy things like 'One Another', then they say 'All's ya' need is Love" but see then they've got all kinds of other deep rooted kinds of mix-ups within for next thing you know ya', we have finally figure this much. They seem so contradictory, we've butchered and tortured the best specimens we could and too some even helped with every bit and like too all kinds of crazy things they call us conformists!! We have not got that one figured out yet but new techies well ya know we stole some of their genetics fore if you just keep them reigned in on just a precise tether we have got a bit done with them. Well they are coming soon can't say when with chips that make silicon again dark ages at last, well then as I was saying the new algorithmics and transprogramizations might be able to be downloaded in. Now yes the stuff we have now and we're building servers and storage what they say of Gods House Many Mansions, well we don't know what crazies think they think they think they believe somehow they actually can do anything at all but we have got this thing that fits what they call Gods House we think on the small tip end of the needle ya, as they say JC, Pop's little one, all these mansions just one son. Anyway said something about us being like trying to get a camel though the eye of that thing. But wowza we got a barn load of that House of God stuff on the small end remember and they pretty safe we's moling around underground and along with a little nuclear waste and all the kinds of formats and types of files well if they were barns on grounds oh what a city!! We think perhaps a metaphorical thing we might be able to some how use it then they say we are abusing it. Well to say this for the new humanity and like that "Jeweled City" coming down for their own good looking over them it will be. We have our special agents everywhere, from a handful of string puppeteer players but don't worry the aliens say most of the genes did what they were supposed to. So we might be getting close to pulling this off. Well, these thing now are like what they say about this thing they call 'God'. It's like it knows no country, race, religious affiliations or associations, secular or non those work we have found about the same way. Currencies, politics they all make pretty good mindful fences and we like that stuff it's all in your head, because there are some still trying figure this stuff too, about some kind of connection from the mind to or from the heart and which way we just don't get the technical details. All we really know is that when this heart matter comes up our systems nearly crash. So as far as we can tell we still pushing hard that EMC squared energy matter to crazy people, crazy enough keeps theirs minds busy with stuff dig!! This oh, how this the beautiful kicker still scares the living 'um we'll just call it crap here. For if this ever goes public you know the scarcity promotional plan and shortness of staff, well it might save us some editing and save energy from servers trying to catch stuff that might upset and make unruly those same people we do all we can for. But you never know we're just not so sure so too we let them selves go on with maybe 'Mother' needs to cleanse herself... we like to leave room for a few contingency things.

Give it a couple of weeks and try not to sweat it too much a bit. But then try to get back with me on this. We have setup a private file here; we respect your privacy but you might want to check the details of fine print on the site here that just keeps a hoing along linking to the indefinite indeed-ly insane rather cool gruelingly cruel more so beyond too colder than natures own ice here which such is ever dear kinder sweeter than the down linking of going to be your bad. However now too understand there are new technologies out there while we are at it if your feeling a bit chilly chilled here now beside all those turn on and off pills and again the bugs are not so clear if they can ever worked out but there are places and they can make it painless, sounds nice right hmmm now ya got me thinking too much again. Susssh's not a word one slip click of mouse here that I don't need meece or even mice just one mouse dig and mine is wired just one little slip click and oh 'ooops your prioritized and if your a unlucky type of fellow we always need a good sporting specimen of public spectacle. Just so you know we don't want 'Gods Children' acting and playing in love, joy, fun or singing not in that counterproductive heartfelt way. The chips are almost ready and for their own good we wouldn't want you to get in the way!!!
This was msg saved as draft for a spell about;
These were responses saved as drafts for a spell,
a bit watered for public consumption about;
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/garlic-please/
about;
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/garlic-really-or/
and just in part really;
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/heaven-mader/
to;
http://hellopoetry.com/poem/heaven-fader-why-not-lata/
softcomponent Jan 2014
as fast as I may be able to carry my legs is never fast enough to escape myself.

I sit alone in my presence and cough a frozen lung back to life. glazed in phlegm.

95% percent of my friends have vacated the city for the winter holidays and seem to be having fantastic experiences wherever the **** and back again. I sit alone at my computer and whine to you in stream-of-conscious prose because I would otherwise be fighting sobs between coughing fits upon the floral patterning of my single-layer blanket draped across a queen-sized mattress planted straight upon the floor (as if I'm Japanese or something).

it feels like the antidepressant I'm on nullifies most highs to a point and I have just discovered a nullification of the runners high is included. Returning after a 20 minute lap, I hate myself even more than I did when I left in a narcissistic daze to look for an outcome as opposed to petting the parking lot with my eyes like a painting by a French renaissance artist I can't pronounce the name of. Everything I've done is a joke in trapped mind-states like this. Everything I've done haunts me like old sweaters I no longer wear but keep piled-- lonely nostalgia's-- like empty memories of ex-girlfriends and slow, lonely mornings in elementary school underneath that old oak tree where the only company you preferred was your own to the point that teachers began to call in your parents to address it as if it were anymore of an issue than the fact that others had to constantly surround themselves with friends and noise and dead-end conversation---

after pushing writing aside to skype my almost-girlfriend from her home in Florida (away for Christmas break like the rest of 'em) I am still vacillating between sadness-of-the-mind and happiness-of-the-absurd. I begin to doubt if there is anything that resembles sadness-of-the-absurd and happiness-of-the-mind. I was short on rent by $35 this month-- both because I am paid minimum wage and because I spent too much on beer to forget the fact that I may lose even this job that pays minimum wage, seeing as I was nothing but a tool to be employed for the season of Christs birth. Two other seasonal employees have already been informed that they're most definitely staying on after the seasonal contract expires, while the rest of us wait in a quagmire of corporate vanity and pistol whipping until Sunday for word on our own outcomes. As much as I love books, this is still a stronghold of the New York stock exchange, and nothing more. I am used insofar as I am useful.

I keep falling back into my solipsist anxiety of old, and it's usually via the catalyst of my own design: 3 to 5 cups of coffee and the resulting overdose on cortisol. It's like I depersonalize for a little while and fear I may very well lose my mind. Everything becomes a hazy game of 'holding it together' by a string of floss and I inhabit a dream world I know very well is the real world and yet I am still unsure as to where the line has been drawn. I try to let go and lose myself in it-- try to hark back into remembrance all those Buddhist proverbs about having to 'go out of my mind' to 'find it.' Often, my tinnitus lets off a signature trauma bleeeeeeeeepppppp as if I were a shell-shocked survivor in the first scene from Saving Private Ryan. I know I look tired.. I decide to keep the rings under my eyes quite visible so perhaps the world will finally notice that I am exhausted and sick of its ****. It never listens. It just passes me like homeless people and waits for me to die.

The *****, ugly truth is that, next week, I might be jobless.

The *****, ugly truth is that I am no good at playing a character in a TV show I don't even want to watch. I want to change the channel, but I can't find the ******* remote.

The Apple logo sticks to the screen as I reboot my iPhone. Everything costs far too much, as if money were no object. This brings me to a counter-cultural stream of thought, which is typical of me and my abhorrent ramblings.. money is nothing but an object, but we treat it as some self-imposed objective truth and forget that it is nothing more than an agreed and shared subjectivity.. like the rest of our 'objective' measurements and pursuits of knowledge. I hate money, and it's true that one reason is because I don't really have it, but I would (and have) hated it even when it is in my possession like some gift that's a curse and some curse that's a gift but it's mostly just a curse, because we're all too petty to stop keeping score. We can't trust our particular cups to the ocean for fear of losing a dime.
excerpt- - 'the mystic hat of esquimalt'
Meg  Aug 2016
forget
Meg Aug 2016
If I sit on my roof
and block out the light from my house,
I can forget that I exist.
I can swim among the constellations
and lose myself in the bittersweet triviality
of our existence.
I can break free from the intoxication
of my life wasted on autopilot.
I can pretend that I am merely thoughts,
free of the weight of a life
and of society
and of reality.
I can question things
and depersonalize
and forget this anchor of a body
and all its bitter consequences.
But,
for now,
all I can do
is lay beneath the stars
and forget.
del  Jan 2018
depersonalize.
del Jan 2018
1, 2, 3, 4
count the ridges my thumb brushes over
as it runs over the hills of my bony knuckles
tanned and rough
"these are mine"
stress the mine
as the mantra parades
through my head
it does not click
i am still floating
far away from this fleshy costume
i pick up the strings
of the puppet that is supposed to be me
and walk out the door
Moon Shine Feb 2015
Like stained glass in a chruch window
The people slashed my face
Red ignorance formed tiny droplets of isolation on my grimace
Dug deep into every inch of nail bed and hair folicale of my was the horrifying visions of authorities and friends continually brutalizing themselves in a twisted insanity
Ants oblivious to the impending massacres above them
To scratch out ones eyes and ears we must depersonalize
Drifting in the wind behind my body
Hazily hovering between battle feilds of disturbing emotional connectivity  
Playing the lottery with my own neurological chemistry
I obtained several steps away
fray narte  Feb 2020
atlas
fray narte Feb 2020
somewhere in manhattan,
atlas carries the weight of his heart —
a suitcase of battle scars and cigarettes
that strayed too far from his lips.

each vein, a thread
for all these sorry poems
that cannot write themselves.
each valve,
a compartment for spent lights
and all these fallen dandelion clocks —
all centuries' worth
and his body, it longs to rest
like a mass of dahlias and complexities,
coming undone in the arms
of a funeral song.



i remember someone telling me it's easier to talk about yourself in third person.


and yet, how do you depersonalize and say that
in there,
sadness has lovingly grown its flesh —
like wild grass spreading free in abandoned lawns,
albeit carefully contained,
carefully covered by these patches of skin
so as to not flood —
to not spill at every sigh
and yet, there can never be enough
breaths taken,
breaths given away

to keep it all intact,
to fend off all the
pecking,
the gnawing at the skin from its forgotten corners,
now a feast to a flight of vultures.

i now know why it's easier to talk about yourself in third person.


somewhere in manhattan,
atlas shakes, crumbles, collapses.
the flesh gives in;
the arms cave in under all this mass:
this weight of a heart,
this weight of the skies — they just slip right off your hands
and words don't see the difference.
Sa Sa Ra  Nov 2012
Msg to DE!!!
Sa Sa Ra Nov 2012
Yo Bro;
hoping all is well as sugary sweet flowing going more like honey beeing; you---- and---- too-uly been so how do we like to say so romp rompy and we just don't know X'actly as is as it might appear though let us hope it's not too ryhmy or scheamy with Pop Pompy on and in too deeply in those ity bity incy weeny little commentary boxery's!! If you dont get my follow ups to heaven fader and or garlic really they are in draft form which I may poem-alize live copy dat roger over or not I' owt about it nevermind you, but b4 or lata don't worry so much we all here are so under staffed it's one of those scarcity things we need to promote to keep all you potentially dangerous and certainly crazy; we've myopically studied humanity and yes those aliens have been helping too for well let's just say here cause I'm to say so much about it but I've already been chipped as spare with a tag of 'IDKy' My Mom was told as a child it might be curse but I feel now with my spare free pass I'm feeling lucky and so gamble ramble roll and once I found out it actuall rymed with Holy so who Holy knowly's; okay my apologies and I'm overly busy you know the staff scarcity thing though we try to usually depersonalize for both the guilty and innocent as well one you as far as we can tell are innocent yet and charges have been brought against you, but don't get your hopes up quite yet!!!; so if you would like to consult with a lawyer we are fine by this we'd understand but ; understand this we do not have public funds on that scarcity list for defending such kinds of non-nonsensical indefensible but of psychiatrist and getting locked up for this we could turn you in or give ya' a long set of lists...

And we try to promote optimism firstly especially moslty up-frontly; but know see here steer clear of what we just might need a little bit more clarity therein thereoutward IDK peeps are saying all kinds of crazy things out there we're try very hard at keeping you safe from all those other's now I thim they call themselves all knds of crazy things like 'One Another', then they say 'All's ya' need is Love" but see then they' got all kinds of other deep rooted kinds of mix-ups for next thing you ya' we have finally figure this much, they seem so contradictory we've butchered and tortured best specimens we could and too some even helped with every bit and like tooall kinds of crazy things they call us confomists we have not got that one figured out yet but new techies well ya know we stole some genetics fore if you just keep them reigned in on just a precise tether we have got a bit done with them, well they are coming soon can't say when with chips that make silicon again dark ages at last, well then as I was sayin the new algorithmics and transprogramizations might be able to be downloaded in; now yes the stuff we have now and we're building servers and storage what they say of Gods House Many Mansions; well we don't know what crazies think they think they think they believe somehow they actually anything at all but we have got this thing that fit what they call Gods House we think on the small tip end of the needle ya and they say JC Pop's little one all these mansions just one son; anyway said something 'bout us being like trying to get a camel though the eye of that thing but wowza we got a barn load of that House of God stuff on the small end remember and they pretty safe we's moling around and along with a little nuclear waste and all kinds of formats and types of files well if they we'er barns on grounds oh what a city; we think perhasp a metaphorical thing we might be able to some use it then thet say we are abusing it well to say this for the new humanity and like that "Jeweled City" coming down for their own good looking over them; we have our special agents everywhere, from a handful of string puppeteer players but don't worry the aliens say most of the genes did what they were supposed to so we might be getting close too pulling his off well, these thing no like they say 'bout this thing they call 'God' it's like it knows no country, race, religious affiliations or associations, secular non those work we have about the same way; currencies, politics they all make pretty good mindful fences and we like that stuff it's all in your head, cause there some are trying figure this stuff too, about some kind of connection from the mind to or from the heart and which way we just don't get the technical details; all we really know is that when this heart matter comes up and as far as we can tell we still pushing hard EMC squared energy matter crazy people crazy enough keeps theirs minds busy with stuff dig this oh how this was beautiful kicker still scares the living 'um we'll just call it crap here fro if this ever goes public you know the scarcity promotional plan and shortness of staff, well it might safe us some editing our save energy from servers trying to catch stuff that might upset and make unruly those same people we do all can for but you never know we're just not so sure so too we let them selves go on with maybe 'Mother' needs to cleanse herself we like to leave room for a few contingency things


Give it a couple of weeks and try not to seat it too much a bit but then try to get back with me on this; we have setup a private file here; we respect your privacy but you might want to check the details of fine print on the site here that just keeps a ** along linking to the indefinite indeed-ly insane rather cool gruelingly cruel more so beyond too colder than natures own ice here which such is ever dear kinder sweeter; now too understand there are new technologies out there while we are at it if your feeling but chilly chilled here now beside all those turn on and off pills and again the bugs are not so clear if they can ever worked out but there are places and they can make it painless, sounds nice right hmmm now ya gotme thinking too much again susssh's not a word one slip click of mouse here dat don't need meece mouse or even mice jus t one dig and mine is wired just on little slip click and oh 'ooops your prioritized and if your a unlucky type of fellow we always need a good sporting specimen of public spectacle just you know we don't gods Children acting and playing in love joy fun singing

— The End —