if ever there were
gods or goddesses of desert
of the drylands
of parched earth some call home
they would be surprised to learn
                     of the miracle of
                           this Spring deluge
                                unfurling forth                
                            from deep within  
                        the crusty dermis
          of this sublunar territory:
          hydrangea and ***** apple flower,
          intermingling their hues
          of mauve and lilacs,
                              as well as the color of sky
                               blooms of the succulents
                    popping open
                    in celebratory dance
                                   in wild fuschia
                                sunray butter:
a dazzling botanic trance
          hollyhocks of magenta,
           veils of bougainvellia, too
                    sweetpea clusters
             curling in the trellis
weaving heavy-scented magic
through and through
a private orchard of lemon tree, and apple
olive and pistachio grove
One would not guess
the endless giving
of this desert treasure trove

And I feel like a goddess
              of mythology softly spun
like Demeter, or Ceres
ancient Egyptian Renenutet
my hands spread out
in the licks of gentle sun
for as spring pours forth its honey
all through this barren land
I , too reawake
and flush out all the infected,
dust-scratched sand
I welcome in
the waters of abundance,
of love, of light under stars
let new energy wash out
old poisons
my radiance spilling far
Reaching out unto the Universe,
cradling this heart
         I cup the buds of blooms,
                                      of nectar
to inseminate my dark
       allowing me
to release the past
and seed within me, lit
         the atoms
of  new
               start
unfolding bit
by tender
bit

HATE BEING THE ONE THAT HAS TO BEHAVE



YOU SEE, I KNOW MY BROTHER IS ALLOWED TO SAY WHAT HE WANTS

BUT I HAVE TO WATCH WHAT I SAY, SOMETIMES I AM JUST BEING COOL

I HATE PEOPLE TELLING ME I HAVE TO BE GOOD, LIKE MY PERFECT FAMILY

IT’S HARD TO DISCIPLINED TO, JUST BECAUSE, I MUCKED WITH THE OLD FOGIES

I HATE, HOW PEOPLE TREAT ME LIKE A TOTAL AND UTTER LOSER

YOU SEE, WHY DO PEOPLE TRY AND DISCIPLINE ME, I FIND IT HARD

LIKE I CAN’T HELP IT, IF I HATED DADS DISCIPLINE RULE

I CAN’T HELP IT, IF I AM A NICE PERSON

YOU SEE, IF I GOOF UP, I AM TOLD, I HAVE NO MATES ANYMORE

ALL BECAUSE I SAID SOMETHING OUT OF LINE

I KNOW MY BROTHER HAS A WIFE AND KIDS, AND WAS COOL

AND YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE, PEOPLE ONLY LIKING ME

IF I BEHAVE, CAUSE I AM COOL, MAN, THE COOLEST DUDE IN CANBERRA

I HATE WHEN I HEAR THE VOICES BE LIKE US, WHEN I EXPRESS MYSELF OVER THE WEB

YOU SEE, WHY DO I HAVE TO BE NICE, I AM A COOL AND REGULAR GUY

I DESERVE TO BE LIKED, I DON’T WANT TO BE LIKED FOR BEING PATHETIC, NO WAY

I HAD VOICES FROM THE PARANORMAL, YA SEE I AM A NICE COOL PERSON

WHY CAN’T I ENJOY THINGS, JUST BECAUSE I ******* PEOPLE

I FEEL IF I SEE THESE PEOPLE, THEY WILL SAY TO ME, I WAS WRONG

BUT I HATE BEING DISCIPLINED, PLEASE DON’T DISCIPLINE ME

I AM 45, AND I AIN’T COMMITTING ANY CRIMES, I AM STILL SEEING THESE DUDES

I USED TO GET DRUNK WITH, SOME WERE GOOD BLOKES

IT’S JUST THAT BACK THEN, I WASN’T PREPARED FOR OUR OUTINGS

I LIKE FOOTBALL, AND I LIKE GOING OUT HAVING FUN

AND I DON’T WANT TO BE TOLD TO BEHAVE MYSELF I HATED BEING TREATED LIKE A NICE AND POLITE MAN

WHILE MY MATES CAN BE LEFT ALONE, PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE

I HATE THAT MAN KEN, I HAVE TO BEHAVE FOR HIM

I CAN’T STAND BEHAVING FOR ANYONE, BEHAVING IS DUNB AND BEHAVING IS WRONG

I HATE CATHOLIC MORALS, AND I HATE DISCIPLINE, BUT I FEEL ONLY OLD FOGIES HAVE DISCIPLINE MORALS

I TRY AND BE GOOD, WHEN I GO OUT TO EVENTS, BUTB SOMETIMES IT’S HARD TO EXCEPT DISCIPLINE

CAUSE WHY CAN’T I JUST BE ALLOWED TO MAKE A BIT OF NOISE

I AM ON MEDICATION, YA SEE IT’S MY DESTINATION, I WANT TO BE HAPPY, SO I TAKE MEDICATION

I THOUGHT DAD WAS STARTING TO SEE MY WAY OF LIFE, YOU SEE, I HATE BEING TREATED LIKE A GOOD BOY

BEING A GOOD BOY DOESN’T WORK FOR ME

I WANT TO BE NORMAL, I WANT TO BE LIKED

I SING A SONG, I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A BEER WITH BAZ BOY, CAUSE HE TRIED TO JUST THINK I LIKED DISCIPLINE

I HATE BEING TOLD TO SHUT UP, IF YOU WANT ME TO SHUT UP, I WILL NEVER SHUT UP, CAUSE, I FOLLOW MY OWN STYLE

WHICH IS FUN, I BELIEVE IN HAVING FUN WHEREVER I GO OUT INTO THIS WORLD

I CAN’T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU CAN’T REALISE, I HATE DISCIPLINE, I DON’T WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE I AM TOO WOOSEY FOR LIFE

I HATE BEING TOLD I HAVE TO BEHAVE, WHY DON’T YOU BEHAVE, YOU TELL ME TO BEHAVE, YOUR A TOTAL LOSER, BUDDY OLE BOY OLE CHUM OLE PAL

I AM GOING TO THE BOTANIC GARDENS TONIGHT, BUT I DON’T WANT TO HANG WITH DISCIPLINE LOVING NERDS

I DON’T DO BEHAVING, OK I WILL NEVER DO BEHAVING, I HATE BEING TREATED LIKE AN OLD FOGIE

I AM A COOL MIDDLE AGER, WHO LOVES TO PARTY

STOP DISCIPLINING ME, YA ****

OR I WILL NEVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN

tears well when i think of your hand arms under the pillow head above eyelids closed and flickering with dreams i hold the tense muscle of your forearm the skeletal hand with botanic veins green skin purpley grey i miss your gentle kiss tongue sliding underneath my top lip back and forth across my teeth until my jaw and eyeballs are loose. i wish your lips on my shoulder. i wish you well. well i wish i could’ve kept you under my spell. am i the only one who drank the potion? only fools rush in so is a fool who rushed in made clever if he runs back the way he came? ….or just an *******? excuse my french but you turn me into a *****. i’d fix you whole without the use of even a wrench but none of my tools could fix your desire for loneliness. and that’s not even a wound, not even anything broken for you, only me, one who needs you to feel complete. I’m such a romantic. why am i, seventeen and lovely, fresh, talented, fairly intelligent, and all around endearing so..so frantic? you said yourself you aren't worth it, all this, this ******* trouble. why is that so hard for me to believe? i sound ******* silly. this isn’t even poetic.

HI DUDES


I AM TELLING YOU, THAT, I HAVE JUST UPLOADED A PARTY SHOW, SHOWING

MY NIGHT AT THE BOTANIC GARDENS, I AM CALLED PINKY THRONE, TO REMEMBER

MY LAST HUMAN LIFE BEFORE THIS ONE GREAME THORNE, THE SHOW IS ON

AAA YOUTUBE TV, AND I PARTY WITH MY STUFF, AND WITH OTHER GREAT PARTY

SONGS, I LIKE TO PARTY TOO, YOU SEE I WANT TO MAKE THIS A REGULAR THING FOR ME

CAUSE I DON’T COPYRIGHT, I JUST HAVE FUN, PLEASE WATCH, I KNOW YOU DON’T KNOW ME

BUT YOU CAN GET TO KNOW ME

AAA YOUTUBE TV, TWO CAKES AS THE PROFILE, OK DUDES

Thank you for the large sushi platters
cheap, but would fill our bellies to their brims.
Thank you for the red lights,
that would grant us a moment to make out in public.
Thank you for the skyline,
that you gave to me in the rain and the sweet summer sunshine.
Thank you for the grains of sand on that one beach,
the cold water only made me hold you tighter.
Thank you for the road trip to Ohio,
you know I missed her too much to breathe.
Thank you for giving me spontaneity,
it is amazing how capable I am to achieve this trait.
Thank you for the long drives,
where I would cry and your voice would match the pitch of sweet Marley,
you would remind me that I was loved, that I was worth getting up in the morning for.
Thank you for the swim in the lake at the Botanic Gardens,
you let me come up for air first.
Thank you for the random calls,
your pungent voice reduced the swelling of home sickness.
Thank you for the large sushi platters,
cheap, but they filled our mouths with stale rice and rotting fish.

You graceful dutiful
Little creature of fur
Sweetest sight of Nature
Head of dreams plentiful

Your hazelnut
You will find not
For your brown tail
Blurs the pine trail

Your golden gate
In the soil, echoes
Dictates your fate
Mine is San Francisco’s.

In your gleaming glade
Hummingbirds in the shade
With feathers turquoise
They’re butterflies, likewise

Queer folks, but fine folklore
Of your secret forest
They race their rest
Less wings, for more freedom

An animal kingdom
Long and forgotten lore.
Squirrel,in your safe crest
You should sleep, so lest

Are you trembling
Because I will
In this night’s chill
Protect your ring

Your paws on my shoulders
Dream gently, drift softly
Off, for we will mildly
Conquer new wild wonders

April 17, 2015
University of, California, Riverside
Botanic Gardens

“If you can love the erroneous person endlessly,
Imagine how much euphoria you would,
Have with the right person,
Absinthe as a row of daffodils that spread flaming,

I love you as dark murky things are loved,
If you can cultivate a plant that will endow,
Your heart with a thousand flowers,
It is absinthe in the air that is expressed,

That is intoxicating from such a love.
The sea knows the love the stones,
of the rock as the waves flow above,
Kisses flowered daffodils in the cracks,

Then day came that our lips finally met,
Our tongues braided infinite purity in their crevices,
Kindling our nerves with desiring pleasures,
What can this be I say to myself the essence of?

As absinthe anise flavored from botanic gardens,
As so derives your skin within mine the contour
Of your beauty has quenched my desires,
With infinite purity and Exhaustive ecstasy”
By A.G. 3/2018

on the first day of the month
we flipped all calendars in sight
and one on the sitting room wall
brought but a moment’s flicker
as the floral display exchanged
my dad’s now absent voice replayed
his botanic wit and joy displayed
what then was a random comment
during our regular video calls
but now no longer to be so
in another couple of months
shall mark the first year of his passing
a pinch it was of a fond memory
a punch in the gut of new reality

I took you to my place today
a botanic garden
silent calm cold
breeze swaying
trees
I took you to my place today
close your eyes
turn around
look around
green
everywhere
I took you to my place today
breathe
breathe
smile
sneeze
smile
sweep me off my feet
I took you to my place today
"thank you" "of course"
this has been on repeat
in my mind ever since
I took you to my place today
I'll take you there everyday.