Now I guess I'm back to this poetry.
I'm 4yrs older, it was you who noticed me..
I wasn't living so well
You were cutting yourself
You needed real love
I needed your help
4 months later we're here
On different sides of our room
You gonna say something soon?
I hate not talking to you..

In two weeks it'll be 4yrs...thinking about that makes my eyes bleed tears....
If I could only get you to understand and really see....that the person I was before wasn't the real me...
As I said it before and I swear it to be true... that I jjust  thought you were some random guy who was cheating on his girl like a lot of men do.,,

If youd said the facts of what now are known to be.... then you would have gotten the real and true person of which I want you to see.....
I never knew that you were YOU....
So I didn't think of it as anything meant to be and I for sure didn't think that you wanted any of the love I may have had for thee....

If id known that you were YOU....I would have been real....honest, loving, and so very true.....
I even told you that I had love in my heart but my true love was the one who held the key...
little did I know that you were HE!!

I knew back then 4 yrs ago that I loved you with passion, unconditional and that our love would only beautifully grow.

As for now I just cant let you go...and deep down I think you feel the same but for what ever reason are in fear to let it show...

There is something deep within you and me.....
We've searched for a life time or so it seems to me
But I truly feel that deep in my heart we are meant to be..
Please stop fighting what destined to be and let your love flow free.

I did love you but didn't see it for being very real...and surely I didn't think you cared for the way I really feel...
I just thought you wanted your cake and to eat it too....
like so many men these day always do..

If you'd been straight up with me we could have have loved above the realms of reality...
I need the chance so you can see the actual person I have grown to be...
I need this to happen and for it to take place *** my heart wants no other and no other can ever take your place.
You cant even compare you to any other.....
I only want you as my one and only lover..

I don't want , hope or nor will I pray....this  I need and my heart and soul know that there is no other way..

To heal or repair my mind In any way/..... I need this to happen and after that let the chips fall where they may...

Im not asking but its more of do or die......I need to prove to you that I want you as my guy...

I want to love you with all of my heart
and it would have been that way if id known all the facts from the very start...

We both did things that could have done right..... but that doesn't matter know...
I just want to hold you when I sleep each night...

I want to love you like no other has ever done.....
and every day show you why I love you and why your my #1

Cant you see how very special you are to me?
It wasn't fair how it all went down before....
and I want to start over and love you forever more..

There has to be a reason for why I feel this way.....
and if after we meet if you don't want me then I will sadly walk away...
then never again will you see or read a word from me....but if you hate me so much isn't that how ud like it to be???

So can you please grant me this one last wish ...
so we can either let it grow or put an end to all this...

So YEA....in 2 weeks = 4 yrs ,
again thinking about it makes my eyes well with tears.

long to be with her ‎
She wants someone else
Her actions is different frm her wrds
Wen she's with me 
I find my haven in her
Re this all I wanted
Or dey're mirage
Wen she's with him
She becomes cold towards me
Get scared of calling cos her tone is scolding
She quickly wants to get  off d phone
Soft talk in pace 
Can I kip up in dis race
Crying becomes a routine
Can't find my rhythm 
Tot she's drifting away 
Didn't realise she's far gone
She came to say goodbye 
Nw I see d bye bye
Guess she's my rabbi
Cos I can see d byline
She made her hair going to see him
Me she didn't even flinch
Asked our normal question
Are u ok/cool‎
Her response shocked me
Why the question
Do I expect her not to be ok
Cold feet I had
Tank God I didn't get struck by a truck
Told her I had issues 
She didn't bother askin wat d issue was
I asked her to come on Friday 
She said it was too early
Today she went to see him early‎
Am I a fool
Or i'm being taken as a full fool
Well she's with her love
Why shouldn't she be hapi
I guess dat's wat she meant
Do I mean anytin to her anymore
Or i'm a tool being taken along‎
She once told me
Dat I shouldn't repeat d same mistake 
In my next relationship 
Oh my should've read the hand written on the wall
Is dis d voice of Jacob and d hand of esau
Forgetting her I can't
She wants me to move on
Move on to wat
Guess to my masters
After 4yrs tot it was worth the wait
Guess i'll neva. Be loved d way I want
Who knows may be i'm paying for the sins of my ancestors
They worshipped ifa 
Guess dey made some innocent peeps cried
And dose peeps are hunting me nw
‎Yet she said if I truly love her 
I wouldn't cry any
I found a place to cry in apapa
Was asked if anyone died
I said YES my love's feeling for me is
Dey all laughed
And said even in t,ears I still hav my sense of humour
Didn't want to try out loving again
Aina made me too
Do I regret
NO she's been awesome all d way
Even wen she leaves
Or has she has left
She'll hav her place unoccupied as long as I live
She wants She'll hav her place unoccupied as long as I live
She wants to stick around till I make it
As wat I ask
She has suffered with me 
She deserves to enjoy too
She said I should be ready for d worst
Guess she has made up her mind She'll hav her place unoccupied as long as I live
She wants to stick around till I make it
As wat I ask
She has suffered with me 
She deserves to enjoy too
She said I should be ready for d worst
Guess she has made up her mind long before now
Well i'm prepared for just one tin
Which is notin
All my readiness is to love her always
Whether she leaves or stay
If she leaves she can always come back
I long for no one else
Until she tells me to live without her
Even @ dat‎
I won't give up‎
This is not the end
It's just d beginning. ‎

Have you witnessed  something
but Couldn't remember yet you can potray even minute
Details of that incident , I had
My 4yrs old eyes had witnessed that
She was burning right beside me
And I was busy wondering about the
The the design my castle should have
It went on , I succeeded my castles did
Even the heat from her pyre did it's job
Fulfilled what her child wished

My father poured the water from the river
Onto the settling pyre , as everyone with a bamboo threw the
Burned remains into the river , may the the creatures
Below this water satisfy their hunger , the priest chanted
While i kept jumping in the shallow blue waters
I was given a new name "Shankara". As I'd came home
On my dad's shoulders completely covered in the ash
As I had spent hours trying to build the castle with that as well


Everyone's eyes were numb , my father's weren't
Probably his heart would have been