mending the snow
has now become knitting white
to frost
as lost kingdoms navigate
from their obscurity -
hosting the hours of our doom
to decades of joy and inertia ...
even as you really love someone
on purpose... you forget
someone.

and all
is come undone !
from a kernel of honey
as ever was.
barking madly at false gods, while -
nipping at the heel of
Unhealing wounds...

all  havoc and have at It
where the true wrong
believes You.

a sting of happiness
dashed against the stubborn
fuss of tossed rocks.
the milk of shadow....
clawing at the way you forget
a glowing medallion
of aching wisdom

And henpecked stars  Henpecked.

a clutch of hit squad horseshoes, lucky in the dark.

the blue navel of a certain monotony
that jibes with your Apologies...
and a long Pause

A Lost -
Art
Founding the Church
of a Lost
Cause

and every Wednesday in a Box
of course.

hurrah !

There is this wound it hurts so bad
it always appears when I am sad
No matter what I do it won't go away
its in my heart where it will always stay
It appeared the day you left this world
and I was no longer your little girl
forced to grow up with you not there
to make things easy that I couldn't bear
I search for you every day
if I'm sick, sad, or just have something to say.
I'm jealous of some girls,
girls who still have their mothers
I tell them to appreciate what they have,
because after they are gone,
there simply is no others.
I have this pain that won't go away,
it makes me mad that you couldn't stay
No matter many years go by
there's still one time of day that I do cry,
I miss you dearly and this is true,
my wound will not heal until I'm with you

Oh, I have tried to laugh the pain away,
Let new flames brush my love-springs like a feather.
But the old fever seizes me to-day,
As sickness grips a soul in wretched weather.
I have given up myself to every urge,
With not a care of precious powers spent,
Have bared my body to the strangest scourge,
To soothe and deaden my heart's unhealing rent.
But you have torn a nerve out of my frame,
A gut that no physician can replace,
And reft my life of happiness and aim.
Oh what new purpose shall I now embrace?
What substance hold, what lovely form pursue,
When my thought burns through everything to you?

Streets lined with confetti
Cheering crowds waving flags
Delighted squeals of the young child
Even destitutes on holiday
And the sun burning its merry way on the sidewalks

Ascent of the podium
Big bow to everybody
More cheers
Slogans read: long live the hero
Happy days to come
and, no one shall stand in our way

The people hush
they quiet as the microphone moves closer
a smile:

I am no hero

––a pause––a cheer––

I am no hero

––another pause––no cheers––

There is no glory in killing
no honour in ending a life
that could have gone on to be so much more
a person who
had their own hopes
dreams––––––––––

––all is quiet over the square
and the sun continues to shine––

––––and people who loved them

There is no joy
in dealing pain
––and pain that never heals

––––silence––––




––a child cries––


a pain that is my pain
a pain that never goes away
a pain of hearing the last words of someone
who could have easily been your friend
your neighbour
your teammate
your best man
your brother––––

They always say: tell them... I love them
and who shall carry out this task?
the one who slew them?

––––––––––––––––––––

so I keep it with me
forever, and perhaps in time
someone will pass it on

––––mostly they stay ungiven
until this generation passes
and that unhealing pain follows us away
and then we go on over and over again

So I don't think that we should say
that we are heroes today
we are no heroes
we are only survivors
victims of a dying breed
and ebbing slowly.

––––a silence––––

The sun continues to shine.

In the pull of the wind I stand, lonely,
On the deck of a ship, rising, falling,
Wild night around me, wild water under me,
Whipped by the storm, screaming and calling.

Earth is hostile and the sea hostile,
Why do I look for a place to rest?
I must fight always and die fighting
With fear an unhealing wound in my breast.

heres to another night spent writhing about in bed
like a serpent in the vast cosmic ocean bearing its fangs at each tiny source of light
a plethora of thoughts come to mind right when the head hits the soft stack of pillows
the trees and the leaves rustle as if sandpaper being scraped against a human face

and it leaves behind a deep unhealing **** that will last till the end of each sleepless night
be healed by the time the head leaves its nightly resting place to go out and take on the world
and the wait for the endless repetitive cycle to begin will begin once again
trudging through miles of globulous bile will again have the same lasting effect

as that of half eaten railway platforms and ground up browser tabs
elongated letters as they appear on the windowed capillaries of one's ignited violin
repossessed keyboards that belonged to aspiring writers who could never fill a page
with words that failed to even capture the imagination of the wittiest troll by the bridge

more words will flow through the sphincters present in half alive lighters
it seems this one needs to rhyme, so raise one to the brave baby fighters
streamlined thoughts finally arise as the mind clears up a little
here's another rhyme, this one might come off as a bit brittle

henceforth thoughts shall be placed with greater precision
there are ants residing in the laptop; sleeping with the laptop, a great decision
back into the depths of insanity shall we delve again
sleeping with a colony of ants equals terrible, piercing pain

I am a bird trapped in a cage a red hot cage
And I try to break free but the feathers on my wings become scorched so I screech out in pain
then no one can bother to hear me
and I fall back to the floor of this cage and my feet are then set ablaze by the pain
and so I flapp back up to ceiling of my cage to relieve the pain in feet
only for my wings to unable to fully open and I fall back down unable to breathe
parts of my body are burning all around me
me

And so I skeech to the sky Into the blanket of cotton plastered to blue
I know I belong there
yet still I am burning
and burning
and I try and I try
to reach the sky to feel the cold wind
on my burning unhealing body
and I just can’t seem to get it out of my head that everything will be alright
And so I cry out but no can bother to hear me
And I hate them
because they can’t be bothered to help me
yet I love them because I need them
I
need
them

and I just wish to be free to feel the cold breeze on my burning unhealing body
yet I can’t break out of the cage so at night I take turns on each side of my body so one side heals while the other burns
only for the sun to rise in the morning
and I am still left morning
because I hate my life and hate those who can free me
yet loving them because only they have the key to the door of my cage
and so I’m left loving my life because I can only seem to imagine my future where am freed from this cage
this cage

I am tired of only knowing this cage
and I am just now starting to realize that for me hate in love are one in the same
because it is what I hate that I love
I love them
because I need them
and hate them because I need them
I need them

they said time heals emotions
but i don't get that notion
time passes by, im in a rut
stagnant pain, an unhealing cut

wait a bit longer they say
you'll for sure be ok
a doubtful smile
i'm in denial

future looking dimmer
letting my body simmer
drowning, a pool of shame
thoughts i cannot change

embarrassed and alone
my struggles now well known
time has passed
only depression has amassed

lost in rehabilitation
happiness, my deprivation
how do i rise above
when shame fits like a glove

HEY YOU! STOP, LOOK & LISTEN!
Whatever, I don't care if you pay attention
I'm prone to come, **** **** up & just leave
& yes, im well aware at the glares I receive
I'm tiny in size
But that's quite obvious if you have ******* EYES
There is more
Just wait for it, it's gonna POUR
The shadow lurkers , those who live in the darkness ..
Their PAINFUL screams forever echoing, maliciously & voiceless
They never just go away..
they just endlessly stay
hisses & shouts, salt unhealing wounds with every word
& STILL undefeated, I'm prepared to battle with what is yet to be heard..
I have no choice but to continue
...**** IT! I gotta do what I gotta Do!
I won't quit, I plan to go hard & attack...
The Shadow Lurkers left me with a cold heart
& I'm giving that **** right back..