Love is like a disease it spreads.
Hatred is an itch when you keep
Scratching it. It Fester an kills you.

When i think about the things I've said.
Feelings I felt. I melt inside.
It turns my in sides out.
My heart combust
An I hate myself.
Why are I not enough.
Denial will have you walk for miles.
Sorrow is a sweet after taste of a sucker punch of truth.
Loneliness is only a symptom.
An that to will pass.


I am a enigma of feeling. I cry when the rain falls to hard. When the wind blows in the wrong directions. I'm poetic. I'm also a stepping stone. The men I've let erase my soul an rewrite my blueprint. The salty tears I cry are almost symbiotic. Another symptom. Like a sonnet short an sweet. Running in a circle walking a fine line. Waiting to leap. Is it a crime to work 9 to 9. Roller coaster emotinal train wreck. An I think to myself who will love me.



I bare myself to the pit an it asks me if I'll jump. I reply not today. Slumped down I step closer to the edge. I reenact self destructive behaviors daily. Am I considered an addict. I seek validation from namless phantoms. I named them my self conscious. Are you listening my beating heart gets louder. I order cream an chowder. Sips slow on estacy. Love an lust sleep next to me. I'm smothered in one while I'm blocked to the other. Exits are closed off I think where is my mother.  I shudder remembering I'm alone.

When my baby's web of Whispers
                                  screams I love you in my ear,
    it echos through  grey matted cranium
                                  sending messages ear to ear.

My synapse snapping,
           and gravity collapsing,
    a host to the sensual, 
            muti-dimentional..
                    no such word as fear.

                                It really slays me
                                when I see it disappear.

When we make love my ego burns in effigy sending naked stars to fall.
                                 there is nowhere I'd rather be,
                                  it's a natural born lover's ball.

Candles kissing the air, flickering flame of release, total estacy,  
it's not just *** to me, a forgiving rush of peace,
                                         I stand in wait, waiting for your call,
                                         oh will the feeling never cease...
                                    No four-way flashing, not only fore-play happening,
                                                      ­       no yield sign to stop me now.
                                      Like a gold mine, she'll be tappin' me,
                                                     yes, right in the kisser    pow!
      
                                         My baby is drama free... if anyone creates confusion    that would be me.
                                                             ­                                                                 ­        
                                
                    Everything is oh so fine,
                                yes, I'm hers and she's mine.
                                                   It is one slipping
                                                      shift on into the sublime. 
                                         That's the way i want it
                                      not exactly every ones cup of tea
                                                           still, she brings it on for me. 
                                

                     © 2013

In a world of imperfection I have tried to be perfect but nothing seems to be worth it. I thought it would be easy but now I believe there is no easy way out, so i wanna ink out my soul, let out my tears to quench the thirst of the ocean.

I write this words with the blood flowing from my veins, the needle is stuck within and my jugular is past its breaking point.

My mind wanders off as I am slowly detached from reality, my tots are trapped in jars of desolation. I wish to find my way back but every stride I take opens up the doors to my insanity.
Such great agony I have come to know, one much worse than misery
I have got nails living in my spine, and I can hear them echo,
Every breathe I inhale is bitter and I pray that my last breathe blows away the wind
My ribs are tensile and cold as steel with knees set on sore concrete
I try to cry aloud but my tongue has been seared.
I ask to know no more of this, as the blade brings estacy to my wrist
I watch my pain slip beautifully to converge in a crimson pool, my eyes flutter into endless darkness and I try to feel, but I feel nothing, not this pain,not even the sound of trees.

But who would heed my call? or do i wait till never comes, because forever seems 2 far
I weave this agony meticulously to form a cold cloak that sits proudly on my shoulder. I know am strong so I would cut myself once again for I have come to realize that true grief comes with silence
I would just bleed silently till someone finds me, till I see the fire flies at the end of the tunnel.

The pill renegades the veins
Deluding the reality of time
Sinister waves like puppet strings to the soul
Youth crawls between the cracks of sanity
The stroking of the lights stuns the senses
Thunder clouds of sweat heating the air
The remedies of the tablet sedate the conscious
Shallow scars blur into oblivion
Grinding of the teeth gears the ludicrous thoughts
The need for *** grows and grows
Heart beats and thrill unite
Until you alleviate into nothing

I want somebody who i can hold at night to rid these bad habits of mine.
Cuz over time, I've picked up blowing and drinking wine
I actually would like for you to be the one I call mine
To be that go to drug whenever I need a quick fix
Whenever im going through ****, and just click
I want your kiss to be the ashes I flick
I want you to be that theraflu for when I get sick
Of this **** that requires a quick fix
Im strong enough on my own
But to have your personal drug to call your own
Would be the ultimate goal
Don't get me wrong boo,
Because I will be the very same for u
I will be that asprin waiting by ya bed
That shot u take to the head
That eases ya pain.
So how about u be my icy hot
cooling me down but then getting me hot
Being my alcohol and being my ***
I wanna smoke u until u get smoked out
Or even until theres no doubt
That you'll heal me
Or until the thought of u being wit me
Gets me higher than any amount of estacy
Cuz truly i just want u to be that drug that takes me higher than medically possible
I want you to make me feel powerful and unstoppable
Taking me above and beyond
So do u think u cud fulfill these wishes?

Signed, a feigning misses.

i long to feel the ******* of love in my hands
to encompass the soul with my heart and show
what these hands what this mind is capable of doing
to allow the one of my dreams to join my soul and wonder off

Her body is like a temple and is apart of everything
like an acceint  goddess I yearn to conquer her'
Too merge two clumsy souls into but one lover
locked in together at the hips and engaged in the magic of touch

oh how i yearn to flow into her mystical being
to infiltrate her body and become her to know her mind
to learn her weakness and her strengths and make them my own
and to work together like a well oiled machine for eternity

The movment of hands clasped and exploring new worlds on hot skin
A kiss moves through all caverns of mystery melding to my will
A bond so scared that our every being is rejoicing in a comsic dance
Moaning our voices in estacy leaving no refrain nor surprise just now  

and we surge together with confidence and pride into this abyss
this unescabable curse we live in and our strived by
we live by this desire to please ourself with the touch of our forefingers
we want this delicacy that the rich and poor posess

The tension fuses into one fluid action no thought left in the world
only the abilty to do not to make dreams or false hope but to experience
feel touch taste and sound form a song so sweet its like a birds singing
Sizzling with  unwitting compassion  but burning inside true feeling

His words takes me to that beautiful place
The place where his words are like
Love's arms of warm embrace.
And Like Sweet Nectar of honey I must have a taste.
His words grows a Blissful smile upon my face
His words are like a Boost to my immunity
His words are like the equivalent to Vitamin C
His words pack Calcium like Vitiamin D
His words Promotes the Sunlight Sparkling for all see
His words are like herbal Tea
Therapeutic like therapy.
Our conversations Suspends me in estacy

I was as cold as a winters freezing night
Then he approached me in way that was so polite
I was literally standing still but my heart took flight
To a new demention to a new hieght
Man I felt like I was flying high as if I were his kite
His Expression of phrases fromulated a Euphoric picture in my spiritual and physical sight.
I swear I tried so hard to fight
But when he spoke to me his words became the heat and I melted me like ice
I wish i could have relived that moment twice
The things he would say were as beautiful as The sun setting upon The San Francisco Bay.
His Statements stops the time in the middle of the day.
This Man is the Very person for whom I silently did pray.

His words compliments me just as the Cocoa Butter nourishing and healing the Imperfections of my complexion So Like lotion the more we talk the more he rubs it in.

His Messages are so powerful that when he speaks I am complelled to feel Humble and meek.
Is this the peak at which His Intellectual geek is Attracted to my Spirtual freak discovered by the Sensational vibes we both seek?
His words soften my heart like silk sheets
Yet are as smooth as a leather jacket so sleek...
His Words are The Vibes that I crave One of A kind and So Unique........

I saw him coming from a distance
His eyes gleamed with the curiosity of  a wild beast
He licked his lips, my knees grew weak
I lost it all when he repeat
"I want want you" he whispered, his words cut sweet

I felt the murmur in my covers
As I beckoned to his call
Gentle hands chills up my spine
I feasted on tender lips, so divine
My lips move under sweet surrender

He grabbed to me, pinned Me Against the wall
Oh, to this moment, I desperately remember
My legs held him close, my arms pulled him near
Be gentle my love, my knight, my aggressor
For I am tender, light and raw.

Oh God! The estacy of this gracious, glorious sin
His passion explored from deep within
My sheets became saturated through the ****** of it all
As I an exhausted between these walls

So please my love,
my knight in moon lit armor
Tease me pleasantly, and be gentle
Forever in this darkest hour of midnight

So tonight, I'll be ready, in dream land you await
when I lay my head to sleep
I pray to God for a repeat
And I shall endure this pleasant torture
Night after night, always and forever
For he is my light, my love, my law


   *La Vida Love

Verily, the year would come to a halt,
And a voyage of another 365 days shall begin,
As it has always been, as nature has always preceeded.

With bunch of wishes, I dreamt,
With a lot of goals, I strived,
With little achieved, I'm not filled with contention but happiness.

Several 24 hours filled with mixed reactions,
Hours filled with estacy and joy,
Days I'm broken with worries.

New figures have appeared,
Ones, who have enjoined me in friendship,
Yet, acquittance that turned sour and never saw the light of companionship.

And came Music, whose lyrics and beats blew my mind,
Football, whose tension thrilled my soul,
Novels, which broadened my comprehension.

Whatever 23 has in stock, I'm filled with hope,
Hoping my goals shall not be mere dreams,
And the dreams shall see the light of success.