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Mateuš Conrad Jul 2018
/                                          i might fail,
               and i probably will...

but when i do?

    i'll do it, in the most
spectacular fashion...

   hands outstretched:

- )wearing socks,
a ****** t-shirt,
   work
             shorts
and a pair stinking slippers;
forget the fluorescent
  gypsy
boxer shorts( -

               like a ***!

ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!

   god, some people are
not even allowed to laugh
at this sort of ****, content,
****! "thing";

why can't
people find like a ***, funny?
5am, mid july isn't
exactly funny to me either...
so?
      point to the beef!

   ****...
                      chops anyone?
can't get cheaper than that:
                                 swear to god;

the ******* already sold
the original intention
and subsequently called a case
for copyright.

- and the next item of history?
well...
   it's not like they're invited!

    i know, horrid, cheap, comedy,
i already know the censor aspect
of me writing it:
(a) you consider it to be "comedy",
(b) you shut the **** up...
(c) ha ha ha ha -
(d) a very personal
joke
   (e) no actual sense of humour
to begin with to craft
a laugh...

                 one word:
  a wave of the hand attempting to fake
brushing off flies like a cow's tail
and...
                           'whatever'...

i tried, i failed,
     now i'll...

                     the brighton pier burn,
as it did...

    so?

         i'll watch habana implode...

       then?

    surely that didn't happen...

well...

     whatever and doesn't

                                 happen next:

just so we can get a snapshot of
a muted: oops! contrasted
by an authentic
****** expression worth
of a model looking "surprised".
Mateuš Conrad Jul 2022
no... i felt like writing tonight...
but no...
it must be a "first"...
i've built up a headache...
i'm guessing she's Pakistani...
or thereabouts...
         first she sends me picture
of her in a Sari...
then? she sends me a picture of standing
naked in a shower...
o.k.... o.k. **** me...
you ever watch that 13th warrior movie?
the deity of the cannibals?
the headless...
armless... legless ******* and stomach?
she just sent me that sort of picture...
i'm getting a headache...
i'm feeling dizzy...
wasn't i suppose to be this western
stereotype of a man sending
his post-******* sized comforting
envies?!
headache... headache...
why would a Pakistani girl reach out
to me... and send me...
a picture of her naked torso in a shower...
ugh... what?! what?!
sure... lovely *******... a stomach
that could eat a camel's ****...
what about the thighs?!
i'm getting a headache...
   even i know that a ******* is
disorientating...
               i tried it once: never again...
         i prefer the company of only one
woman... two women is a fidgety toe in tow...
oh sure... sure...
western women are the perverted ones...
the desperate ones...
they're the ones sending all the ****-lick-picks...
becauae: likewise... the Muslim women
don't send you pictures of them
attired in a Niqab... and then...
full torso... naked... while under the shower?!
like i said:
i have a headache...
**** LIKE A GLORIOUS COW DEITY
THAT'S TO BE GLORIFIED BY CANNIBALS!
i have a headache because i'm
feeling frenzied...
i'm... losing my ****...
                  
what a terrible headache...
middle-eastern people are terrible at profiling...
they are terrible at: giving themselves profiles...
**** me... if i were to send a ****-lick-pick
to a girl i'd be X...
but if a Pakistani girl sends me a picture
of her *******... and her torso... and her legs...
standing in a shower... prior to sending me
a picture of her in a hijab?!

all the while reading ZHUANGZI...
this world is a joke...
   ****'s sake...
this girl sent me a picture of herself as
a WENDOL'S DEITY...
you... you know what that spawns in a man?
the darkest of cravings...
such that: with the shadow
of man nibbling on the extremities
of the night...

i'm having this terrible: headache...
my shadow is starting to eat the night...
a woman sent me two pictures...
one with her in attire that would
make her sensible...
then another: reckless...
like i perhaps should be:
doing... sending her a picture of my post-*******
phallus...

but... she sends me a picture of her glorious *******
and torso...
she's standing in the shower...
please... don't wake the WENDOL
in me...
            i don't want the "mother-deity" near me...
ugh... headache...
my... my...
                      i think it's too late...
mea culpa... so much for proclaiming myself
as this lover-boy with a picture of me
kissing a *******...
   no wonder i was going to attract my innermost
perversities...
   the deepest... most scandalous... most: childhood
reigniting types...

              but what's that ******* about
men sending pictures of their phalluses?!
what about women sending pictures of their *******
and their torsos to men?!
oh... wait wait...
not enough men get those pictures?
i'm getting a headache...
i've just received a picture of a WENDOL deity...
******* that fed Genghis Khan
and a torso that gave birth to Xerxes!

i feel like licking a canvas...
of one of Lucian Freud's nudes...
even though: i abhor Lucian Freud...
but the picture this girl sent me:
i want to: i don't know...
lick more than paint...
or paint more than lick...
i don't even know...

sure... chubby on the "rims"...
but those *******...
dangling... dangling like the branches
of a weeping willow...
i want any eroticism to disappear
as i suckle back to seeing the sun last...
i don't know...
chubby on the rims...
i don't mind... but with ******* like that...
i want to retract her ability to
sustain both *** and reproduction
with what's first arousal and later
milking: those glorious "hang-abouts"
of fully glimming fat... pouches...

it's a headache...
                unlike a child: i see a pair of ****...
and i'm like... no ***** in sight...
there's more reason for this pair
to be so apparent than for merely a child
to use...
         headache...
                
terrible idea(s)...
            of course she's not a model type...
that's beside the point...
she's just willing: she's pulling me: tugging at
my invisible noose...
             the fact that she's pretending
is the biggest turn-on...
she's showcasing herself as this moral
Islamic heiress... while in private?!
    degenerate...
                   feeding monsters...
that's... what's most attractive:
the contradiction... the hypocrisy...
the totality: the summation of what it is to be
human! a contradiction!

since? no other animal is a contradiction
as an ontological summation per se...
only man...
but woman... please!
don't wake up in me the deity of the WENDOL!
mind you:
i'm terribly suspect when it comes
to Asian women...
raven... hair...
   i get a headache even more terrible...
than... what might be associated as
racial-proficiency in up-keeping demands
for / of continuity...

Asian women are a slow-burn for me...
as is their thinking...
i could do with German thinking throughout my 20s...
but... upon a "return"?
it's back to sq. 1...
   Tao...
                        
oh all that's Asian and anti-European...
i'm more copper-necked
when it comes to the "romance" with summer...
i abhor summer..
they... seem: so blanched...
yet... so... those **** i want to milk...
create buter from... remotely:
some cheese...

    WENDOL...
                       mein gott... this headache
is getting worse...
i feel a hard-on is pressing me...
it's a first for me...for a girl sending me her ****...
maybe i should think about paiting?
i always liked the idea of painting clouds
of a canvas of demanding: white...

like i once mentioned:
i could see myself as a veterinarian...
and also as a BUTCHER...
but as a surgeon? no... no thank you...
she has a body on display that makes
me "think" of necrophilia...

why? she's exposing double-standards...
i like double-standards...
i also love those clearly encompassed
curvatures of: body...
and esp. via. a woman...
      and since she's Asian?
double points...
        on prior to existential "achievement"...
within this life:
death is merely a rupture
of what's to be preserved: continued...
she might not be a model...
but the fact that she sent me a picture of her
naked?!
                 i could see a thousand pictures
of naked models...
but seeing her... solo?
            i guess i have a hard-on
worth worths' of a thousand years...
            i like the idea of sand
being the improved ruminating
      cull for the description of time.

count?! count?!
beside sand, what's there implied by water?!
Jo Baez Jan 2016
Your eyes are water paint
Paiting a picture of agony
And I can see your pain forming in tears dripping down your face
I wish I could wipe your hell away
And point this gun of apathy at your heart
I'd pull the trigger to **** your feelings
And reassure you that everything will be okay
But I know that you know
It's not that easy.

If I could clip your torn, wore out wings and sew you new ones
In hopes you would fly to a different world
Where it doesn't rain misery and it's sunny all day
Just to see you smile for second
I would but sadly I won't.... Just to teach you a lesson of self-help because I believe in you
And I believe you can pick yourself up
after dragging yourself through all the *******

You're just another poem I wrote
When the sound of inspiration stroke a chord but I swear you mean more than words and metaphors,
You mean more than letters and similes

If I could stab you a million times with the same knife of empathy
That I used to cut my wrist this year, I would
Just to watch your puncture wounds leak all the pain you feel inside
But if there's one thing I know and I know right
Is that pain makes you feel alive and no matter how lonely you and I feel when we're both laying in our own empty beds
I promise you a promise that I might break someday but for what it's worth
I'm sorry you feel the way you do and I can assure you this time without reassurance
I feel just as alone as you
and here's the bitter sweet promise,
I'll struggle to keep
"I promise to drive to your house at anytime
as I bend the hands on the clock
To tell you that I'll be as lonely as you when you stay up crying your thoughts out on September nights
May  Dec 2017
REMNANTS OF SUMMER
May Dec 2017
blossomed periwinkles
with hues of rose
beneath the silver veil
and atop the emerald diamonds
danced with the zephyr
for the dead silence
paiting the coals of darkness

— The End —