Blue.
Red.
Yellow.
Green.

Little hands, touching a static screen.
Smearing lipstick and singing into a hairbrush.

Bigger hands, tracing a phone screen.
Wearing lipstick and standing on stage.

Holding hands, walking down the street.
Holding a clutch, walking a red road.

Black.

Long karaoke car drives with friends.
Quiet flights amidst a night sky.

Cranberry juice with girlfriends.
***** martinis in an apartment alone.

Friends with everyone.
Friends with the flashing lights, reflected in eyes.

Blue.
Red.
Yellow.
Green.

Lovers.
Tabloids.

Smoking.
Coc­aine.

Break-up.
TV Shows.

Black.

Waking up in a cold sweat.
Your heart bursting through your chest.

Diamond jewellery to your left.
Empty cigarette packets and beer cans to your right.

Asking yourself the same thing you've asked since.
Are you still having fun?

Everywhere I go.
I get foul looks.
Looks of pity.
None I care for.

"His parents..."
"He's gay?"
Yes.
Yes.

I sit at the television.
Flipping through channels.
The broadcasts.
The audience.

The bruises that mark my skin.
"******* loser."
"Not even going to fight back?"
Are a reminder of my trauma.

I'm friends with the colorbars on the television.
The red, yellow, green and blue.
The black, white and grey hues.
The static that seems to scream my name.

I am left with a single rose.
I don't know where it came from.
Or where it goes.
But it's my rose.

I can't take the beatings any longer.
I'm sorry to her, my best friend through this all.
I can't do this anymore.
I can't do anything.

I engrave my skin.
Line by line.
Until three deep strokes mark my wrist.
I feel dizzy but don't sleep.

She asks me where I've been.
I hide my wrists and smile at her.
She looks at the bruises on my face.
She angrily frowns.

I'm sorry to her, my best friend through it all.
It's just too hard.
I can't hold on.
So I leave you my rose.

The flower beside your bed.
The bright red rose that stained everything.
Crimson gushes from my wrists, from my neck.
It tastes metallic.

I'm happy now.
I smear it all over the TV screen.
Now I can become one with my friends.
Come on, play with me.