i'm always trying to hold on to the parts of people that don't make sense, because a part of my soul was sparked from a moment lost in a memory • i stay and crawl back because the power of their flames are constantly engulfed in my brain • i block out what is best for me so i can feel the pain and burn of a wildfire that will only destroy me in the end • ("what if it doesn't?") • there's always a hope deep inside me that they won't hurt me as bad - that i am invincible until they can calm the heat of their storm • can i tame them like they've domesticated my free spirit? there's always that hope that they will soften their blows just for me • our demons play too nicely together, running rampant around the cages we've spent decades molding our cold, black hearts into • all i wanted was a hand to hold and a soul to recognize my suffering, with a promise to never let me go through that ever again • be careful how you speak your hopes and dreams aloud • these fox holes needn't any more prayers • i land on a solid foundation, because it's all i had before you • i'll be stronger than before, knowing what not to do • i no longer have a thirst to learn things the hard way and i'll never stop letting good people love me despite bad people never learning how to.

I should have known you were a fraud
We should all hold our applause
Master at manipulation
I couldn't stay in that situation:

Head games, head trips
Insecure, ego slips
Black heart, anxiety dips
Mood swings, personality flips.

Doubt myself, no luck
Insecure, you're stuck
Bad intentions, "easy ****"
Mood swings, better duck.

He got up this morning
Didn't know right from wrong
He got his shield and walls stacked high
But he couldn't keep them strong.
I told him that he could count on me
But he kept asking me, "..for how long?".

Boy, if I knew for sure
I'd do my best to advise you
But don't go looking for trouble
Cause it sure as **** might find you
Do your best to look forward -
Nothing good is happening behind you.
I'm not your 'manic pixie dream girl'
AND wrote this to remind you

Yeah so I may have ****** (up) a lot
And I may have demons to deal with
But I'm no longer hiding my skeletons
And they're no longer a foolish myth

Yeah you're my water boy
But I couldn't quench your thirst
Yeah I want you - could never need you -
But then again, what could be worse ?
When a woman is so focused on herself
Every man that meets her path is a curse.

Yeah God could play along
But since when was he your higher power?
Cause every time i see you pray
You find more ways to sit and cower
Maybe over the thought of letting someone in -
Into your stone-cold, makeshift tower.

YOU can try and knock me down
Try to break down everything beside me
But you were never meant for war
And that's something that we can all see
Walls & a slew of chemical weakness -
That's all that you will ever be.

I'd get undressed just to impress you
Knowing all too well
That it left you empty and depressed too
Then I think to myself,
"What's a girl to do? "
Meanwhile you're all alone,
Allowing the chemicals to stew


So watchyu want with a woman like me?
I'd never do what you say.
All I wanted was to love you,
But you kept pushing me away.

how can u be my motivation
when u clearly only hinder me.
u have been shaking my foundation,
i only hope - some day soon - u will finally let me be.

u have given me demons - carried ghosts that i am terrified to face;
i know that everything happens for a reason - i just wish that those reasons would pick up the pace.

i can't help how my mind makes me feel - the intrusion of thoughts are breaking me down;
i convince myself that they are real -
that everyone would be better off if i wasn't around.

maybe it's the alcohol - maybe it's the drugs,
i can't function without an abundance of the two.
all of my problems were swept under imaginary rugs -
i am so far from gone - idk what to do.

I've only ever been physically attractive to most people that I meet,
But when my words have your mind more active,
You give me validation that can't be beat.

Intimate thoughts explored -
Avenues you have yet to travel.
My words seep deeper, pouring you overboard -
The restraints of your mind begin to unravel.

I know that I was meant to inspire -
That much has been quite evident.
Pen to paper: an act in which I will never tire -
My voice, heaven-sent.

I've got a lot that I want to say -
Way too much in my mind to write down.
Distractions and insecurities kept us away,
But understanding and similarities found common ground.

How it feels to not be completely alone -
A comfort I never thought I'd find.
Meanwhile the whole world around us stuck in a phone
As we dive deeper and adventure the mind.