-The north winds whistling through the eaves
-Your gritty mumblings in deep sleep
-The rain hitting the bedroom window
-Blown derbies upon the panes

These things brew an ointment,
which I will rub into my soul for eternity.

I regret the days I have to mind her.
How horrible is that?!
I listen to her as she tells me my Da's horrible
and I grit my teeth.
She asks me my kids names....again
and I bite my lip.
She talks about my granny
and I rein my temper in.
What did she do to deserve tbis?
Fed me, clothed me,
Held me and loved me.
I remember my teen years
And am swollen fat on regret.
Would love to sit on a bench
With her and her alone
As she was ten years ago
And tell her what she meant,
Means and will always mean to me.
I'd tell her now but
She'd only forget.
And I'll go to my grave
Swollen with regret

Perhaps it is me.
I am very boring, after all.
Or maybe it's them.
I just want someone to talk to.
Someone who doesn't think it's a burden to talk to me.
Someone who will smile when they open my messages, who will talk to me for hours and hours and not get bored, someone who will listen attentively and get every word I'm saying.
I just want someone to talk to.
But, lately, it seems like that person could never exist.
Am I unlovable?
Am I not good enough?
Am I not what someone wants?
Perhaps it's because I always find people who are just as ****** up as I am.
I just want someone to talk to.
Could that someone be you?

Summer's warm currents retreat
the advancing brisk amber sunsets.

Submerging the world under
the reign of enduring starry nights.

The maples blush as Autumn whispers
the gentle lullaby of Winter's sweet breath.

Erasing Summer's memory with a crimson brush
preparing the golden landscape's long frigid rest.

~~~