I've had enough of your pushing and pulling
You said that you have changed
But when
You said you were different know
But how
I just know that you are exactly the same

You still push and pull me of your own accord
You tie me down by empty promises
I had your back you let me fall
Take your lies because
This is our end

This is the end of me and you
This is then end of me hurting
This is the end of my support for you
This is me leaving

Don't call me back
Don't say empty words you don't mean
Don't come running when your in need.
Don't try to pull me back by your rope of lies
Just don't

You were my first for almost everything
My first real kiss and not a drunk mistake
My first time
The first person I could see lasting
The first one I could see a relationship so deep
But you are the first one who can't make up your mind.
You can't say yes let's do this
You can't say I want to be with you and only you
You cant say you want to last
You are the first I have to really watch for because you can become the first to break my heart
You can become the first I don't want to lose
The first I want to hold so tightly
But the first I can see but don't want to acknowledge that you are slipping away from
You are the first that I want to stay with me.

Here I take a chance
A chance to say what I am
To not be judged but to be heard
A place I know my voice will rise
I am a christian
It means something different to everyone
Some is bad other are good and some don't care
But this is what a Christian is to me
I like to think of myself as a new generation Christian
What is this you may ask
Well let me tell you
It's someone who loves everyone
But isn't that what we are supposed to do you ask
I say it is but others say they do
They do but they say to hate those who are in same *** relations or are transgender
I'm not saying it is all
No not all indeed but some
But I love everyone
I believe that you should be who you want to embrace who you are
To shine through the crap people throw your way
Every life is precious but I believe you should have a choice if you want an abortion which I'm told is wrong
I'm for gay marriage because you love who you love and what I say won't change your mind
But does this not make me a Christian
Because to me the only things that matter about being a Christian are believing that Jesus is the son of God and that he died for everyone and rose again
And that you should love the sinner and hate the sin. Everything else just muddies the water
So I am Christian but I'm a new generation.

All my life I have had the toughest times
But I always smiled
I have never told my secrets
So they rotted my soul

I have never stepped out of line
I kept my place and stayed quiet
I never spoke wrongly
But I always made mistakes

I have been put down
But I have kept my head up
But what good did it bring
What things do I have to speak of

What gives the strength to smile
To keep my head up
To keep silent
To never speek wrongly

Where is this strength I find
Where did it go
Will it come back
Or will I stay exhausted

People Say my life is easy
And from the outside that may be true
They never know
The torture that is inside me

Though I'm smiles and joy on the outside
The inside I'm all the natural disasters
To take one look and think you know
Then to take and be for sure

Never wanting to understand
But always wanting to assume
That i have no worries
Troubles or doubt's swimming in my heart and head

Just look once more beneath that smile
Search the eyes to see my soul
Don't hold back due to fear
Just take one good look

I 'm scared of what might be inside me
Thoughts I have that are strange to me
Thoughts that seem to belong to another
These thought give me a shock every time

I don't know when they started
But I don't know when they'll stop
These thoughts that shouldn't exist
Have diminished a single bit

Where did they come from
When did they come
When will they be gone
Will I ever be done?