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Is life then
but a needed purge
after  the deluge
of a thwarted urge?

Why did I permit
my love to perch
on a brittle branch
about to snap, left in the lurch?

I am to blame, none else
it had always been me I encourage
an impossible dream to chase
in impatience, more often in rage.

The long past has slipped
away in painful memory--age
has spoken and farewelled has youth
it's true--love is false and a cruel *******.
You are  an inspiration to many.
Your life fills many with Hope.
Because Jesus has rescue you.
For he has saved your life here.
Revealing himself to others here.
Through what he is doing in your life.
After all his Spirit does dwell in you.
Doing many miracles in your life.
Life
is a narrative
what parts of you
should you forgive?
tw self harm



Perhaps I’m starting to understand
Tonight, I want desperately
To take the blade to my skin
But only to leave a mark
A reminder
Of what’s happened today
This is a motivation I think I can talk myself down from...
In 12 days, it’ll be two months since my last cutting... I really really don’t want to give up on that progress. Not yet.
Everyone has some gold in them,
Try to find it,
Not the dirt.
9/5/2020
tw: suicidal thoughts



I haven’t felt it in months...
But I knew I should’ve listened...
I should’ve thrown out all the pills
All the orange bottles in my nightstand drawer
I didn’t want to then
I don’t want to now
They’re my way out
My backup plan
When things go dark,
I can offer them to myself
There’s always the pills...
I don’t even know if they’re enough...
But part of me is desperate to find out
Now I’m just angry and don’t even want to take the ones I’m supposed to take...
I can't teach
  even myself I couldn't reach
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