petals resigning from a rose
turning ground into infinite
stretch of liquid sweetness;

tub sinking into a pool sinking into
a lake sinking into a sea
of rose-scented water

take my mouth on a ride
on a strawberry flavoured waterslide
by a cotton candy sky
drenched, soaked
in pink.

I want to watch
bruises bloom across my skin until
my body is an untouchable wilderness vast
and raging I
feel so powerful;
the seeds I sow spring
to life at an instant
red goose egg under flesh
hatching, spilling yolk,
purple yellow green.

I want to be
at the mercy of the sea
tossed effortlessly, crashed
against thorny rocks
in oscillation
over and over until I am
as lifeless and brittle as the foam on the shore I
feel so powerless but it's
liberating, no longer breathing, no longer here,
surrender, surrender to the tide

oh no.
my hand slipped.

what am I to you
now that I am the thing you wanted to protect me from?

from now
I am not your daughter.
I am
A wilting flower plucked in the prime of its innocence
corpse blackened and rotting and foul.

from now
I am not your daughter.
I am your
one-way ticket to hell
weight tipping you over
by a fraction of a hairs breadth
falling, falling into
fire.

I tried to drown myself again
But I didn't want to die
Just a sip
For practise

Every time I breathe a little more
Feel the heat rising in my throat
Screaming coal in my stomach
Igniting, stoking, climbing higher and higher

One day, maybe the fire will
Trail all the way down to my lungs and

When I drown everyone else will learn
How to swim again