i’m here again.
i see you without seeing you
i feel you without touch
another night, black words
on white walls
i find myself hopelessly
seeking you out.
restless, relentless
i no longer know what i even
hope to find at its end.
perhaps only the stinging comfort
of knowing your near
within my grasp
like the gods of old
filling the night sky
with so much wonder
for i to only look upon in awe.
like pyramus and thisbe
through a crack in the wall
we whisper our love.
you are engraved within me
this cannot be for nothing
i refuse it.
countless moons
have come and went
radio silence
an entire world between us
yet i cannot give up;
the idea of you.
i exist in a fantasy,
a childlike dream
i peel back the veil of time
and gaze into you once more.
i do not know
what souls are made of
but what ever it is;
ours are the same.
and if that is all
we where ever destine to be
a flicker in time
a fleeting moment
a blip in space;
then i have cheated
fate from her cruel wish.
for i have lived out
countless life's
with you in my mind  
my muse;
i have dreamt you
into my existence;
and here you remain.

~

she is a flower moon
on a still summer night
filling the sky
surrounded
outnumbered
by an endless
ocean of stars
suspended in blackness
radiating wonder
her presence;
unlike any other
her light;
a perpetual glow
even without trying
even without knowing
you outshine them all.

~

warm summer nights
lost, intwined
under satin sheets  
a midnight worship,
souls unraveled
night crawlers
telephone lovers
pale skin
eyes burning
bodies dancing
soft moans in my ear
the sweetest lullaby.
like a siren you call;
alluring
pulling me into
every dark corner
of your mind
and still;
even now
i hunger for only you.
i once believed
i had fallen hopelessly
in love with a memory
but i know that not true.
for i would rewind
the hands of time
and stay
that moment
forever
even in purgatory;
i shall kneel
by your throne.

~

that’s how i know
with you it was different;
something else entirely
something other-worldly.
all have come
and left by dawn
nothing but
empty desires
a hollow love
but not you.
with you
i obsess on our memories
fixate in our moments
long lost to time.
and just like van gogh
within his work
i have lost my mind.
here is all that remains;
years passed
black words
on white canvas
two ghosts
communicating
between worlds.
it is indeed oddly
beautiful and bizarre;
for i am lost and floating
within the darkness
suspended in your space
amidst the stars
dancing between worlds
sending out signals
just so you know
i’m still here.

~

~

time is fleeting
love her hard
love her fast
give everything you can
for as long as you have
be open
be honest
be humbled
admit your defeats
she will give you every thing
every part unraveled
stand with her
do not run from her magic
a love like that
may only come around but once
it is a fate far worse than any
to wonder what if.

~

~

some nights i wake
from another world;
another place and time
one where we made it.
i have lived out
so many different life’s
with you in my mind;
from better to worse
and i have loved you
just the same
in every last one.

~

~

if my life was a novel
each experience
stained
forever in ink torn pages
somewhere within
a chapter is missing;
this is when i met you.
this is when everything good
happened all at once.
on those pages;
words dance
universes bend
stars weep
and time stops.
on those pages;
skies clear
seas calm
and i smiled.
for you arrived
just as a dream
from nothing
to a monsoon
a wildfire
burning through
tearing down
you revealed
the parts unseen;
an aurora borealis
a beauty so haunting
you brought me
to my knees in worship
and now;
after endless nights
countless moons
time has made me honest.
honest enough to admit;
i lost you
because i felt
so utterly unworthy
of someone
with so much wonder;
a magic unlike any other.
a bruise that never heals
i press it down;
it hurts to remember you
but it feels so good
to just remember
that it even happened at all.

~