Life doesn't stay the same
Always changing up the game

No matter how prepared I was,
my heart still shattered when you said those words.

I love hearing you laugh hard, it makes me happy
I love watching you drive, it makes me feel protected
I love driving with you, it makes me feel infinite
I love when you tickle me, it makes me think you like my smile
I love when you wake me up with a call, its the only thing that gets me up
I love when you let me cry on you, I can't do that with anyone else
I love you, and I'm in love with you.

I think you're hard to get over
I think you could still be mine
I think you're a super nova
I think you make the world shine
I think you're made of stardust
I think you know that you are
I think that love might destroy us
I think that you're near yet so far
I think you know that you're perfect
I think you know that I'm hooked
I think if you left I'd be heart wrecked
I think you can't be overlooked
I think I'll love you forever
I think you've stolen my heart
I think I'll follow you wherever
I think we should never part
I think you know that I love you
I think you might just be scared
I think you might love me too
I think this love might be shared

There is so much grief
between the four of us
that we drive to the clinic
in two separate cars

When we get there
my parents struggle
to lift the golden bundle of childhood
from the backseat

Her paws hit the pavement
and she is staggering
towards the little white dog
across the parking lot

She stops to breathe
             heavy breaths
             full of effort

Dad is the first to cry
holding her leash while
the rest of us hold our breath

We are crammed into a room
too small to comfortably support
all the woe between us

I am holding front paws
face pressed to fur
and the doctor asks me
if this is my first time
as if to imply

death gets easier
if you let loss become routine

she asks if we want to burn the bandana too

she uses two needles

Dad leaves the room
Trevor swears he can still see her chest moving
Mom's eyes red like embers
head heavy on my arms

When I get home
I use an entire bottle of shampoo
on Russell but

the white fur on his chin
doesn't wash away

You are my truth
The only truth I've ever known,
And I cannot live without you
You are my very soul
You can never let me down
You are amazing
I've always believed in you...
My entire existence, all through time, I've believed;
And I will until the end of time and then beyond
To me, there is only you
Nothing else exists
And you are mine as I am yours
Always and Forever