This is not a poem.

I mean to tell you that I'm sorry for the times I was so mean, for the times I yelled and called you names. And that I locked you out from my problems and my sadness in an effort to shield you from them.

Looking back I understand that it was more painful for you to see that I was struggling, lashing out and how I wouldn't open up to you about it, than it would have been had I acknowledged it to you and sought your comfort.

I know now that I was trying to run away from problems, not just the bullying and rejections but also your sickness. And most of all, the realization that you, my only friend, the only one I could be myself around and whom I felt comfortable with, would most likely, very soon,  not be around anymore.

Because of that you missed out on a great deal of support and love that you deserved so badly. And we got to spend even less time together than your already short time on this world permitted.


But these words mean nothing, not only because you will not be able to read them but because they're merely justification.. excuses.
The only thing that does matter is that I'm sorry.. I am so incredibly sorry!

Sometimes it feels like nothing ever happened
between the two of us
No trace left all of it erased
We've been expelled
Our love has passed away
I'll be alright, I feel fine
And there are days, days that I forget

But then you sneak back in
Always when I least expect
Is it an illusion or are you there?
Looking at me, smiling back
You keep your hold on me
Will I ever lose you?

In the city walking 'round
Remembering us
Remembering how we laughed
Remembering how we loved
But then it hits me, it has passed
I have to hide from the rest
Never will I be myself again
Never will I be yours again

Even though we've never met
You are the one I won't forget
And though my future turned to grey
I'll be fine, I must remain
Your rock, your mountain
Your life campaign