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Death walked up to me one night,
Slipped me a cigarette
We sat beneath the stars beneath my dorm room window,
Death said, “I haven’t touched you yet”
The next day I heard the church bells toll,
My colleague from theater, swung free of her bonds
The whole campus chorusing, their Kyrie Eleison
Who could’ve known? Who could’ve known?
I knew, Death walked in her just as it did me,
I watched Death take her aside and haunt her as she desperately tried
To find an anchor, to find solace, well hers and mine became the theater
When I saw Death with her I envied her the company,
Our morbid fixations sought through our scripts, both of us cast
The same character,
Both of us popping pills carefully hidden in little soap boxes,
Boxed up with wine and razors in care packages from the same lover

Death sat with me the other night,
Held a bandage to my wrist and lay me to bed
He lifted his hood, wiped the tears from my eyes,
Begged me to dance again, on ankles slit,
Caressing me as Elisabeth

Now I’ve been kissed,
Kyrie Eleison,
We shared the same stage, once,
Tell me what's waiting there for me
Beyond the mist of Chapel Hill
This was pretty heavy when I wrote it but then I saw the German Musical "Elisabeth" and now it's like, hey Death is pretty swanky let's revisit this poem.
#butseriouslythough #whereismyglitteryDeathsuitor #HurryUp
as I sit and breathe
my heart slows
my mind quiets

I can now hear the birds singing
feel the gentle breeze blowing
and my skin tingles to celebrate
that I am alive to be present
to this moment
Once I spoke the language of the flowers,
Once I understood each word the caterpillar said,
Once I smiled in secret at the gossip of the starlings,
And shared a conversation with the housefly
in my bed.
Once I heard and answered all the questions
of the crickets,
And joined the crying of each falling dying
flake of snow,
Once I spoke the language of the flowers. . . .
How did it go?
How did it go?
I guess it's time to move on.
Because this is that
and that is this.
Without words, there's a shift.
Our disposition sways.

The sentiments and gestures
it all festers
in the small space between us
because it just doesn't
have anywhere else to go.

No matter how busy I make myself,
it's still there.
Pounding on the cage
in the back of my mind.

I never wanted to let slip
the anguish
which was breathing through my pores.
But it's there.
Emanating around me.
In the small space between us.
Give them to me.
All the pieces of your broken heart.
Give them to me.

I'll take them.

All the rough-hewn misshapen bits of your shattered dreams.


Give them to me.
I will take them.

Give them to me.


They are wanted here.


All the parts of your misspent childhood. All the regrets of ticking seconds behind you.

Give them to me.

And we will build a cathedral. A stained glass window of who we are as tall and as beautiful as it should be.

Let me have them.

And we will make a mosaic that stretches as wide as the sky. Showing every color your heart gained from the bits and pieces left on the ground.

I will take them.

And forge a sculpture of how beautiful the ideas are that we cast out in our failings and we will cast it in our failings.

Let me have them.

And we will ***** a monument of all the small things in the shape that you remember them.
Towering. Looming. Striking. Beautiful.

Let me have them so we might bind the words said and regretted, (or worse) left unsaid in leather and call it scripture.

Our Psalms. Our Proverbs:

“The tip of my finger dangles like my tongue. Wanting to touch something beautiful.”

“If it were not for him, it would have been us.”

“You were all my brightest colors.”

“I wish I were more like you.”

“I wish I were less like me.”

“I am sped.”


And we will read them at dawn like litany.

Stretching our voices to the corners of the universe. Asking for the wishes you make when you are scared. Or alone. Or both.

That we may take them.

And make a blanket.

A blanket to cover our childhood and let it rest at last.

I will take them.

All the parts you no longer want.

Give them to me.

Because they are what make us beautiful.

Give them to me.

That I may forge them into pitch and feathers and craft mighty wings.

That I may take flight from your worry. And soar on the updraft of your misconception.

Give them to me.
I will take them.

Because I would rather burn like Icarus than to have never dared to fly.
This was a birthday gift to myself. I am giving it to you.
Late at night is when I think
And try to I clear my head
I often stay awake all night
Just laying in my bed

As soon as I get comfy
Thoughts start racing in
I start to question everything
and regret my every sin

At first the thoughts are gentle
Like what will I do tomorrow
But as time crawls by; they escalate
Till I'm drowning in my sorrow

I think of all my failures
Every detail of what I did wrong
After hours of reliving pain
I convince myself I don't belong

I suddenly feel isolated
and like the silence will never end
I feel like I will never escape
There's too much I just can't mend

I feel overpowered and worthless
Like I'll never do anything right
I hide till the world fades away
And I'm awoken by the light

I realize a new day has come
It's time to put on a brave face
I put those negative thoughts away
Until I return to this place
When I met you
You took my breath away
In retrospect
I should have just walked away
And started breathing again
Do you miss me? Want to
Kiss me?  Want to hold me
Very tight?
Are you lonely, want me
Only.  Want to love me thru
The night?
Will you stay true if I
Love you? Will you be mine for
Many years?
Will we ever be together? Will
Our laughter dry
The tears?
Will you smile and say you
Love me? In the morning
and the night?
Will your smile be the
Sunshine that makes the world
All right?
If you answer that you want to
And you want to
Hold my hand.
Then you've given me a purpose
I think you will
Understand.
I am yours for Now and
Ever.  I am yours in
Heart and Soul.
I am yours from any distance,
You're the one that
Makes me whole.
pwL 2006
You may have thought I was pretentious
A little crazy, lost my senses
Can’t believe that I confided
Everything, but I’ve decided
There was nothing else that I could do that night.
And I’d do it all again.

Won’t lose sleep wonderin’ if I’m wrong
I’ve made mistakes some – now and then
But I’m telling you I love you,
And I’d do it all again.

You got to know the whole thing scared me
Like someone else, inside just dared me
My resolve began to weaken
And my mouth just started speakin’
Told you more than I had right to
You were hard to say good night to
And I’d do it all again

Won’t lose sleep wonderin’ if I’m wrong
I’ve made mistakes some – now and then
But I’m telling you I love you,
And I’d do it all again.

Sometimes now I lay back and listen,
Then my eyes tear up and glisten
I’m convinced that you have shown me
You want to love me not to own me
And you make me much more happy
Than I have a right to be
And I’d do it all again.

So I won’t lose sleep wonderin’ if I’m wrong
I’ve made mistakes some – now and then
But I’m telling you I love you,
And I’ll do it all again.

When we think back to that kiss
Hoping it would lead to this
I guess that we both learned a lesson
That I’m glad we didn’t miss
Spending days and nights together
There’s no question as to whether
We’d do it all again.
And we’d do it all again.

We can’t lose sleep wonderin’ if we’re wrong
We’ve made mistakes some – now and then
But we know we love each other
And we’d do it all again.
You know we’d do it all again.
PwL 2006
Digging more out of old folders...........
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