after Bukowski's "The Laughing Heart"

my life is your life
it was never mine.
omission of submission
leaves no way out.
what's an offer of forgiveness
to a promise of betrayal?
a lost shepherd leading the blind.
under a loaded sky
someone sang
"there is a light and it never goes out"
a marvellous truth that
has taken my heart.
there is light somewhere
but not in my eyes.
heaven can wait.
the gods will have to delight
in themselves
a little longer.

I'll make the beat
    you bring a little melody
We'll find the words
    fit in to it perfectly

All we could need
    written in a reverie
Nightingale songs
    inscribed inside memories

Time is the tale
    of pen's wish, eternally
Yet none remains
    time is uncertainty

Ours is the ail
    of branching eternity
Unhear our names
    to learn who we're meant to be

Find me
inhaling the smoke of summer dreams
blown in from somewhere far afield
breathe deep
exhale
deliberately
observing the mountains of ash
dust on the periphery
recently undisturbed
from the beasts ever lessening visits
once, they were ravenous
a force unbound
now bound by force
consummately conquered
intravenously consumed
tamed
with cold inattention

Find me
immovable, unmoving
as artificial flowers in spring
copy of a copy of a copy of
a
delusion of heart
where wistful winds
erase the path once tread
breathe deep
exhume
inexorably
the ghost of slanted seasons
here, in the autumn of all things
where the dead come to rest
you'll find me
still
and still

You light my cigarettes
And make me shiver
Your eyes are black
Just like my eyeliner
Just like my fishnets
Just like my heart tonight
.
.
.
You refill my glass
And your eyes are burning
Your looks burn my dress
And all the lace
Goosebumps and sweet salt
You like what you see
.
.
.
You trace my lips
And there your fingers linger
Cold are your hands
Mr. Dark Smile
Dark Alley
Mr. Inviting abandon
.
.
.
You cup my knee
And whisper in my ear
Mr. Black Sugar has
A thousand hands
A million ideas
Why would I refuse?
.
.
.
In a different world
You make me drown
In silky sweat
In a sea of skin and sticky leather
Hard candy, smoke, and clouds
Purple-red snake and lost fishnets
.
.
.
It's done
Mr. Shadow is gone
I close my dry eyes
And wait
For yet another day
And the next one who will
Light my cigarettes

Don't carry your mistakes around with you.
Instead , place them under your feet
and use them as stepping stones.