i’m sorry i lied
i just didn’t want you to
break my rib cage open again
for you to rip my heart out.
now i have no heart.

i tell people everything i can’t say to myself // like that things get better // and i tell them to keep going, because in the end, everything’ll be fine // but i wanna give up every morning i wake up // since the storms rage on in my head // it makes me feel so weak // i don’t feel alive

and i thought
i could be alive
without you.
ends up i wanna
die without you.

yes, i lied to you. yes, i said things to make you happy. yes, those things i told you killed me inside. yes, i felt my hands turn into earthquakes after. yes, i pretended to be what you think i should be. yes, i let you treat me like ****. yes, you made me feel insignificant. yes, i was falling apart. yes, i thought about crashing my car so i wouldn’t see your face again. yes, i tried, i tried, i tried. yes, i’m tired.