it's pretty ironic how you
call it a crush
i used to think it was due
to that feeling you get, the rush.

when just thinking of him makes
you blush and feel
butterflies. you dream of him and it takes
waking up to remember he is actually real.

hearing his name
can make you smile
like nothing else. trying to tame
that feeling will take a while.

when he sees you and gives a smile and wave,
you feel extremely happy.
and that moment you will save,
despite it being sappy.

but then you see him one day
with somebody new.
he looks at her in the way
that you wish he looked at you.

you turn away because you can't bear to watch the rest,
and you swear you heard
your heart being smashed to pieces in your chest
and you realize that crush is the right word.

whenever i write
i have to write the title last.
i am never sure where
my story is going to go
and i don't want a title
holding me back from writing
whatever i want.
i guess sometimes
people don't realize just how
limiting a title can be.

i sat today thinking about time
and how it changes
and makes the rest of it change
along with it.
how selfish, i thought
at first. the fact that
time feels the need to bring
the rest of us with it as
it leaves one state and
becomes another.
then i realized time just
doesn't want to be the only one
who has to change
every day.
hour.
minute.
and while change can be bad.
it can also be good.

I used to think we’d end up together.
That day I kissed you
And you kissed me back.
When we were in the ocean
And you pulled me closer.
That night we held hands
And you smiled at me and I thought I saw forever.

I knew you had a girlfriend.
I knew you had been together for two years.
I knew you didn’t think we’d end up together.
I knew you didn’t see me that way.
I knew it was just for that week.

but you let me believe that we’d end up together.
i saw you with your girlfriend last week
and i felt my heart
fall from its place in my chest
onto the ground.
i forced a smile when i approached you
but i left as soon as i could
because i let myself fall for you.

i met another boy the other day.
he likes me and he’s cute and he’s sweet.
i kissed him like i kissed you that day.
the day when I thought we’d end up together.

Last night I dreamt
That You were here with me
That You left that girl
And realized I was The One
For You.
You kissed me
And I swear, for a moment
It felt real.
So much passion could not
Just be a dream.
But seconds later I woke up
And I checked my phone
Only to see that she posted a picture
With You.
I laid back down and
Closed my eyes,
Because that's when I realized,
My dreams are the only place
That You and I are together.

realizing that you mean nothing
to someone who means
so much to you
isn’t the worst feeling.
the worst feeling is
thinking they love you
as much as you love them
only to have them
turn their back on you
when you
needed them.
the worst feeling
is giving third
and fourth
chances to them
only to have them repeatedly
b r e a k
you. the worst is
having to continuously
tell yourself that it will get better
when it won’t.