She thinks I'm poisoned
She thinks I'm evil

I can't live here anymore
I can't take it anymore

Now these clouds
the cold mean greys
sideways rain, the north lands I remember
the drowning choke of smoke and fire
traveling the dark road to your home
the black and spark of stars
we watched through the night
before the killing dawn
before the foggy cold that held us down
the clinch and grasp a slow stinging wasp
gone the fragrant hum of bees
the honey meadow petals.

Only a fleeting summer - we gathered
now swallowed in the autumn thunder
the bruising cold of November.

What can you find lurking in the depths of the night?
Hidden between shadows of which sicken and fright.
Tapping across the room with an awful means to bite.
Edging all your focus though you'll never see it strike.
Tap, Tap, Tap.
A ring from across the room.
Pay close attention now, or you'll surely meet your doom.
A very eery feeling crosses, sending chills up your spine.
Out of nowhere a realization occurs,
This being is right behind you.
It has been this whole time.

The next time you miss him,
or want to take him back,
look down at the scars on your arm,
and remember that he will always be a part of
who you are

What do you miss more?
Gaslighting so strong you shook yourself to sleep and let exhaustion run so deeply in your veins you're tired a whole year later?
Or the nights he kept you awake just to argue and bring to attention every flaw you've ever had and how you were so unlovable he'd be the only person to ever tolerate you?

Next time you miss him,
Look down at the scars on your arm
And remind yourself
you don't need to be tolerated
you are art

please lend me your shoulder
so i may cry.
please lend me your ears
so i may purge myself of my illness.
please lend me your heart
so i may mend it.
please lend me your arms
so i may be held.
please show me
how to love freely.
please show me
how to find my purpose.
please show me
how to truly live.
please show me
what real life is.
please show me
what love is.
(please)
(let me love you)