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Sep 2021 · 262
Rickie Louis Sep 2021
At times I feel like a flower
Once swaying in a field free
Amongst a spectrum of colors
Washing down into a streams valley
Beneath the rays of light
Tickled by the feet of life in flight
Then plucked
Placed into a glass
By a window
To wither
May 2021 · 92
What else can i say
Rickie Louis May 2021
God I get so busy sometimes
Sometimes busy doing nothing
Sometimes just sitting here
Doing literally nothing
Almost feeling cursed
Day in day out
Like I'm chained
I feel little control
I feel my body breaking
A new chronic pain
Another migraine
Another depressive state
Some how though
I need to fit work
Also food and rest
Oh my friends
I've not forgotten
My family
they see me
much less.
I'm sorry
Oct 2020 · 147
Rickie Louis Oct 2020
The unhappiness you're experiencing right now comes down to allowances.
The allowance of negative thought to entertain your mind.
The allowance of idleness.
The allowance of making choices against happiness.
The allowance of negative people.
Mostly it comes down to the allowance of time given for anything that will eventually cause you pain.
The same allowance can get you joy and satisfaction.
Salvation of time.
Make the right choice.
Note to self
Aug 2020 · 101
Rickie Louis Aug 2020
At the moment,
she's present,
just not in the present moment.
Jan 2020 · 71
Rickie Louis Jan 2020
Do night skys not liken to the shimmer of her eyes?

Do the gardens of Eden not bloom in the presence of her beauty?

Do heavens angels not fall
just to hear her sweet goodbye?

Yet her lips press softly upon mine.
Jan 2020 · 56
Rickie Louis Jan 2020
It's instinctual
To want to look away
Once contact is made

Often it's what I do
Impeding anxiety
That they may first
(look away)

I want to peer deep
Beyond the ambiance of your blue
Connecting to within, you

It's not what I see
But what I feel
Pith to crux
Eye to eye
Jan 2020 · 63
Rickie Louis Jan 2020
All of life
Is confined within a single moment.
Despite that as it may sound
so small or insignificant.
It's indeed profound and eternal.
I imagine many that have come and gone,
in search of purpose and meaning,
over looked the simplicity of lifes beauty.
That is to simply exist.
Enjoying the whoas and woes,
the sinkings and risings,
as the tides of life come and go.
Not fighting or subduing
what is or isn't meant to be.
Complacent, content, and cohesive,
Just as the matter that forms us all.
Because ultimately,
nothing matters at all.
So here we are,
Can I exist with you?
Jan 2020 · 77
Rickie Louis Jan 2020
I want to lay next to you
Caressing the constellations upon your skin
Mapping them with my fingertips
Memorizing them as our days come and go
As to never forget
Even as age impedes us
And new stars emerge and others fade
I will never stop tracing them
I will always want to learn you
To touch you
To feel you
To lie next to you
Jan 2020 · 203
Rickie Louis Jan 2020
Mysterious shadows on the wall.
Silhouettes detached from their source.
Just a void of light.
An outline often depicting,
the same that could be said
about some of us.
Detached from our source,
void of light.
Nov 2019 · 196
Failure to thrive
Rickie Louis Nov 2019
I use to plead with fate. Begging and wishing; praying and hoping for things to change. I'd always try to compromise. Almost always blind to one thing. Action. Always neglecting my basic necessities, in exchange for inaction; possibilities, for idleness.. Always focused on the moment. Lacking foresight for progression. All of my life I have simply digressed.
Jul 2019 · 311
Life preserver
Rickie Louis Jul 2019
Most relationships seem so lifeless, just floating along aimlessly. Down desolate mundane oceans. Destined to be consumed by the dark fridged depths we call love.
Jun 2019 · 192
Rickie Louis Jun 2019
I don't know her
Only her name
A beautiful name
Like a precious stone

The nerve one must have
Even to speak it

Her beauty I must say
Truly unlike any other
If only I had the nerve
She may be flawed
But to me

She is certainly one of a kind
Free spirited
Curiously quiet
Only to spectate in wonder

From a distance

I wish I had the nerve
Not to capture or subdue
But to know her
Be more in her presence

Her smile
Even if not for me
Makes me smile too

To hear her laughter
Is like a treasure sought
Over and over

I wish I had the nerve
Dec 2018 · 460
Rickie Louis Dec 2018
Curiously wide eyed,
flawlessly pale skinned,
mysteriously dark haired,
Apr 2018 · 365
Rickie Louis Apr 2018
The times I miss you the most,
I rid myself quickly by remembering how you made me feel,
Despite my will for you and I,
You often made my heart run dry.
I've gone from darkness,
To light.
To flight.
Nov 2017 · 267
Rickie Louis Nov 2017
A yo-yo without a string
is just another useless thing
so why wouldn't I come back
everytime she pushes me
Nov 2017 · 574
Lucifer (10w)
Rickie Louis Nov 2017
Hearts perish for the devil,
For heavens in her eyes..
Oct 2017 · 314
Rickie Louis Oct 2017
Once we were both peasants
With my intent to be her knight
With haste I crowned my queen
As her king she'd rule my right
Yet now her noble jester
I've performed with all my heart
With hope I'd be an equal
Though a pawn right from the start
Off with my head
Oct 2017 · 233
Rickie Louis Oct 2017
She's my pianist,
I'm her baby grand,
out of tune.
Rickie Louis Mar 2017
I've fallen so far in thought. I've contemplated ideas and theories of meaning and purpose in this life. Only to find myself in the darkness of reality. Sadness now overwhelms me knowing that nothing really matters. The magic and wonder is gone and I fear it isn't coming back.
Mar 2017 · 577
Rickie Louis Mar 2017
I wish I knew the color of your eyes, but easily I imagine they're beautiful. I wouldn't close mine for even a second,  not a single blinks worth missing. I'd travel as far as they'd let me go,  I wonder if I could get lost? Or how soft your skin, your hair, or lips; to feel them on my finger tips. To know your imperfections. Lord, to be your last confession. To feel your body pressing mine, it makes me ache and leave my mind.  I see your inner beauty, a certain devine serenation. You'd lull me to my dreams I'm sure, and time would just become this blur. I wish I knew your scent,  so as I make my way thru this mundane life; I'd stumble across your fragrant so sweet, reminiscent is where I'd be. I'm not too concerned with how small or how tall, how narrow or wide, but the tenderness of your soul. Mmm.. I can already envision how heavenly you must be, now this would make me complete..
something I found in my notes
Jan 2017 · 816
Rickie Louis Jan 2017
No depth,
you're hollow,
you're empty inside.

It's no wonder you wallow...
Society has you,
you're destined to follow.

Adrift and aimless,
pathetic and nameless,
you're not even shameless,
with shame you're aware,

but you're not..

You can't even care you're so self diluted,
you're blind as a bat,
and your conscience is muted.

Let's hear you refute it..

Despute it..

It's all just a game, I know.
Another song and dance to show.

I'm not impressed.
Not in the least.

I get it.

Lifes your buffet,
and it's all you can eat,
but retreat,
and know I'm no feat,
I repeat,
you will never defeat,
with a virtue to cheat.
You're merely transparent with all that deceit.
A girl I know.
Dec 2016 · 716
Friend (acrostic)
Rickie Louis Dec 2016
Before you know, you're in your thirties,
Recalling all the days that'd come and gone,
Immixed with nostalgia memories,
Tedious friendships that lasted,
Temporary ones that passed,
Although it's difficult to differentiate,
None I've had with real substance,
Yet here you are, always there...
Picking me up from my self desolation,
Reassuring that I have some value,
Insisting there's worth,
Commiserating my woes,
Everything that defines a friend.
I appreciate you, even tho I'm so self-absorbed.
Dec 2016 · 358
Rickie Louis Dec 2016
I don't think of you anymore...

Except for when I close my eyes,
you fill my dreams..

Before I close my eyes to dream,
it's only you for my heart screams.

No more than that I do assure,
I've finally rid you of my core.

Except my day,
here and there,
your smell,
a sound,
a touch,
I swear.

It's easier,
aside all I've said,
you're no longer here,
not in my head.

Besides the morning when I wake,
my heart it quakes,  
please take this ache.

I know I lied..

I cannot deny..

You're locked forever inside my mind.
Dec 2016 · 343
Game on
Rickie Louis Dec 2016
Love is but a game I've never played..
But through you,
I've learned all the ***** rules..
Game on..
Nice guys finish last..
winners play the game.
Dec 2016 · 511
longsuffering in vein
Rickie Louis Dec 2016
I relish the best in you,
Endured the worst,
Now you're gone,
My love's dispersed.

adjective: longsuffering
having or showing patience in spite of troubles, especially those caused by other people.
"his long-suffering wife"
synonyms: patient, forbearing, tolerant, uncomplaining, stoic, stoical, resigned; easygoing, indulgent, charitable, accommodating, forgiving, understanding

in vain
phrase of vain
without success or a result.
"they waited in vain for a response"
synonyms: unsuccessfully, without success, to no avail, to no purpose, fruitlessly
"they tried in vain to save him"

Dec 2016 · 504
Rickie Louis Dec 2016
To have you in my dreams..
devoid of just a touch..
is but a nightmare..
a barren land..
my destitute.
Dec 2016 · 434
Thought I'd share
Rickie Louis Dec 2016
If you could remove yourself from the universe. You'd likely see one mass, one body, what I like to consider god. I think about this often. You can do the same with you or I. Looking at one another, we see single bodies. A lil closer and you see atoms and many other individual processes that are interconnected making up what we are. Aren't we likened to these atoms, but it's we that make up the universe? Connected within the same body? Like hair on the arms of creation, individually feeling the breeze of life passing thru us! Each of us on a separate path of probability,  possibly reunited in the end to share these many individual experiences as one? Like the omnipotence and omnipresence of what some consider to be God?  This is my wish of heaven, of an afterlife; to continually play in the perpetuation. It can be a humbling thought, to think that we are indeed one, but seperated momentarily. Our entire lifetime is just a synapse in the mind of eternity.
Dec 2016 · 3.8k
Unedited desires
Rickie Louis Dec 2016
Here I lie wide awake,
thoughts pouring through my mind.
How sweet the touch your body,
when craving after mine.

Playful eyes and dancing toes,
wrestling to shed our clothes.
You bite my neck and I taste yours,
we slowly kiss, our tongues explore.

I toss and turn, try to ignore,
these visions now vibrate my core,
the chance I'd take if you were near,
to breathe you in as though you're here.

Lips running down your heartfelt chest,
caressing them along your breast,
excitfull moans begin to flow,
the further down I go below.

With grace I trace, my love expands,
this sanctioned sin, no reprimands.
You feel me now, passions run deep,
quietly your sounds they speak,
and as they do,
I follow through,
through the depths of reaching you.

As inner thighs,
quiver and quake,
salty sweet your taste I take,
your fingers running through my hair,
you pace my face,
and steady,
You groan in ecstasy,
your love receives the best of me.
I slowly give my all to you,
with rhythm we begin to move,
clasping our hands, you sway your hips,
you raise them up, as we eclipse.

It echos through these deep elations,
driving in intense sensations.

Entangled we begin to dance,
form beads of tropical romance.
You rain on me, and I on you,
our bodies moist like sultry dew.

Tell me now, where have I gone,
this feels like some celestial bond.
I'm but alone, in my own bed,
yet here you are inside my head.

Joining rapid beating hearts,
pulsating through our tender parts.
Increasingly your warm breath's felt,
together we begin to melt...

I must expel this lustrous notion,
to sinfully vow my devotion.
How can it be, to have not met,
yet yarn for you, without regret.
Perhaps one day I'll feel once more,
reality vibrate my core.

Dec 2016 · 516
nostalgic expectations
Rickie Louis Dec 2016
i know how i look
with my rose tented glasses
im not naive nor gullible
just convincing myself to believe
i know it's a set up
pehaps a little foolish
but the highs i reach
are worth the lows beneath
there's nothing that can stop
how i wish to see
i would rather not admit
the sad truth of reality
Dec 2016 · 694
Dreaming out loud
Rickie Louis Dec 2016
There's a yearning in my soul. A sudden dramatic anticipation. To connect, to reflect, to know your joys and woes. Your sorrows and your hopes.
Even for a day..
A minute..
A moment..
A memory to behold!
I don't expect forever, truly forever is untold, but life has unexpectedly introduced our weary souls. Bestow to me your story. I promise I'm no judge. I am too a victim seeking nothing more than love. A piece of me I'll give you. I'll surly accept yours. To feel in life is purpose, to neglect that is absurd.  Let your heart be open, let it carry you away. The pain you've too long squandered, let's relinquish it today.
Forsaken as we are. Despite our pieces scattered adrift this lonely road. We are still yet hopeful, daydreamers may we be, come to me within your sleep. Let me hold you as you close your eyes, as you slip into this thought, no matter the distance, feel me. A fairytale perhaps. Do we not deserve just one? Take this piece of peace. Find solace and let it thrive. Let this moment be, and long into the next to be a guide. The worst at most will this just fade. The best at least is an eternal embrace.
Dec 2016 · 404
Untouchable (10)
Rickie Louis Dec 2016
If I could
I'd fashion words
That'd pierce your soul.
Nov 2016 · 663
Rickie Louis Nov 2016
Sometimes I'm filled with an overwhelming sadness
It's like a Madness
but not the kind with rage

It's almost like i have a deficit of joy
A black hole
Or a reoccurring void

It's like that feeling when you're far away from home
But I'm home
Yet here with you's alone

When it comes it is impossible to hide
There's no pride
No ego to confide

It's then i seek for some kind of affirmation
Acting out this sickening deprivation
My desperation

I'm not alone
..My misery calls me home..
Nothings ever finished.
Nov 2016 · 509
Rickie Louis Nov 2016
I found a shiny stone
Along the sparkling sea
It looked so all alone
So i couldn't let it be

As i look upon its grace
Among the other stones
It looks so out of place
So with me i brought it home

Everyone i know
Thought it couldn't be
This stone i had to show
Mesmerized majestically

But soon it became dull
The glimmer was no more
The sparkle in its soul
No longer touched my core

What was i to do
I knew it had true beauty
But with me it became blue
Then i felt i had a duty

Along that glimmering beach
Upon the other stones
It had a certain reach
Here its not alone

So i cast to the sea
It was the hardest to let go
But now that stone is free
For the world to see its glow
Sep 2016 · 951
Rickie Louis Sep 2016
Give me a woman who's loving
Ill take any who'll care
Give me a woman who'll sit down and listen
One who is actually there

Im seeking a love that won't falter
Given we're all on our knees
Im seeking a love that can stand back up
One resistant of all this disease..

I'm seeing so many who glisten
These people so sparkling cool
They add up to false advertisement
Who seemingly take me a fool.

No warranty false expectations
Just bid you a fair well adieu.
Once things get shaky and different
They're off to find something brand new.
Jun 2016 · 349
Self love therapy
Rickie Louis Jun 2016
It's funny the mess we make when in love our hearts collide, we hardly think ahead or of the time to say goodby. It is the moment that we're in,  and fulfilling our desires, love rarely keeps its bond in times of forging in lifes fire. The work it really takes to mend, and bend, and fortify, it is greater than most wills and that's when love will thrive or die, and sadly here I am once again upon some ashes, but I will not repeat the same as precious time elapses. I've finally learned the truth after reliving all these lessons, that's investing in myself and fortifying my own essence. So here's to me, myself, and I, and may this future bring, all my efforts, dreams, and passions, unto life so joyfully.
Here we are again
Jul 2015 · 554
Parabolic applesauce
Rickie Louis Jul 2015
There's an apple in a tree that I want so miserably
and I jump and I climb, but I just can't seem to reach,
and I know everyday that the tree's a lil taller,
but that apple is so red and it isn't getting smaller.
So I try even more and I give it all I've got,
while I imagine how it'd taste and I know it'd hit the spot.
Then one day the apple falls upon my weary feet so tired,
just to hold it in my hands only to find it had expired.
It is then I look around
just to see how easily
it'd had been to take a moment
and see other apple trees,
because I've been within a forest
and my stomach had deceived me
and my eyes they had ignored it,
just to get that one to please me.
Rickie Louis Jul 2015
The road is paved with emotional landmines encircling my every move.
And every sign that comes down this highway seems to remind me of you.
Almost as though I have been down this road, but the view is all but the same.
I'm not driving in circles, but some how it swirls back into painful war games.
Explosions, implosions, dismembered emotions at what point will it all end?
What do we gain when love turns to pain and hearts can no longer mend.
A friend gave me a line and told me it was the start of my next poem. So this is what it is.
Nov 2014 · 2.2k
Rickie Louis Nov 2014
I feel apart of me's gone missing,
I don't care if it comes back.
The love I have's bled empty,
I'm afraid it's turning black.    
I'm finished always wishing,
With beggars knees so sore.
The shooting stars are missing,
My hope is gone for more.      

I find I'm always focused,
Dwelling further down a hole.
As misery is lurking,          
I'm a broken hearted mole.
I'm blinded and I'm searching,
By the one thing I can't find.
It's a warm place for my heart,
But it's messing with my mind.
Sorry for all the sappy poetry. It is what it is I guess.
Aug 2013 · 889
the only problem
Rickie Louis Aug 2013
The only problem with colliding in love, is the down ward spiral from the heights above.

The only problem with that first long kiss, are all the others later that seem to have been missed.

The only problem with taking that chance, is gaining all the baggage of a faulty romance.

The only problem with colliding in love, is you're crashing two lives and expecting no blood.

The only problem with that first long kiss, is the thought it's self sustainable with a byproduct of bliss.

The only problem with taking that chance, is gambling in that moment betting all upon a glance.
Apr 2013 · 1.6k
Fun guys, fungi.
Rickie Louis Apr 2013
Primordial network,
networking mycelium,
mycelia working,
working primitively,
primitive connections,
connecting chemically,
chemical reactions,
reacting pleasantly,
pleasant visuals,
visual enhancements,
enhancing hallucinations,
hallucinating vividly,
vivid reality,
reality bending,
bending light,
lightly colorful,
coloured full,
fully spiritual,
spirit elevated,
elevated God,
Gods flesh,
flesh Devine,
Devine mind.
A lil myco word play, enjoy.
Apr 2013 · 569
mutual (first haiku)
Rickie Louis Apr 2013
She said to me go,
without hesitation I left her standing there,
without hesitation our hearts collapsed.
Apr 2013 · 853
Rickie Louis Apr 2013
My best friend is killing me within each and every breath.
Since I was just a child it's been planning on my death.
So long as I recall it's been the only friend around,
Taking all my stress and always there to calm me down.
So many friends have come and gone alike with all the years,
So many times to pick me up and help me fight my tears.
Had I known the fight, I'd take back every strike and strife.
Escaping every anxious moment isn't worth my life.
Eighteen years has come and gone and now I'm twenty-nine.
And death should be my strongest vice to get you off my mind.
And still I sit with you my friend these days make me regret,
The moment I decided to light up that cigarette.
Mar 2013 · 583
Rickie Louis Mar 2013
Nothing is sacred,
nor does it last forever.
No two can make it,
without hearts being severed.

Desperation plagues,
once truth in lies unfold,
neglected love evades,
once blame is what takes hold.

love begins to pass,
like the petals of a rose,
once given to a lover,
when two hearts began to grow.

Promises are broken,
once they pass thru lying lips.
love cannot be spoken,
or be grasped with finger tips.

Eyes are bound to wander,
if they aren't fixed soul to soul,
and sinking ships are destined,
once relationships turn cold.
Oct 2012 · 679
Rickie Louis Oct 2012
I'm not a wishful thinker,
but with the cold reality,
faith seems to be the only warmth in life..
Then again I'd rather be cold than lie to myself.
Oct 2012 · 11.8k
Rickie Louis Oct 2012
I've seen love in a million faces,
almost caught her in a million places,
but she's so illusive,
can't be subdued,
before you know it,
she'll have you fooled.
She'll feed your heart, and lift it up,
then seemingly she's had enough.
From heights you'll fall,
a downward spiral,
she'll pierce your soul,
and hold you liable.
she'll tear you open, inside out,
make you wish you had a doubt.
Force you to beg,
and plead for mercy,
and wish this quench was never thirsty.
When fairy tales are all but over,
and these dragons can't be slayed,
it's then you wake to face the nightmare,
of being loves hopeless slave.
Mar 2012 · 1.1k
seek to destroy
Rickie Louis Mar 2012
I think I need to be more understanding to others intentions,
and not my own inserted perception of what I think others are intending.
Me and my over active imagination like to play to much with hypothesis, theories, and probabilities.
When often,
truth can be spoken without being tested.
I swear sometimes I break things down so much,
when it comes to putting it back together,
I find I've built a monster to fear and seek to destroy.
If you look at it right,
you'll see I'll only destroy myself in the end.
Mar 2012 · 848
Imma tree
Rickie Louis Mar 2012
My leaves have fallen color gone,
this season sings a sorrowed song.
Each branch and finger lingers bare,
where once a luscious life was shared.
With every breeze that passes thru,
within cold nights of bitter blue,  
and as each leaf makes it below,
this truth in life feeds me to grow.
I'll sit and wait,
fight thru
the gloom,
cause soon
I know new
life will bloom.
Feb 2012 · 2.2k
Grounds keeper
Rickie Louis Feb 2012
Imagine grass,
tall bright green grass.
Each individual blade,
Swaying freely in everlasting fields.
Harmonious, peaceful, simple.
Now imagine,
a lawnmower,
cutting down,
and controlling the grass.
No more does it sway freely.
Religion is my lawnmower.
Feb 2012 · 975
Trial and error
Rickie Louis Feb 2012
With each our own, upon a thrown, of thorns our souls reside. With each new tear our hearts they bear the past with open eyes. With lessons tried, and tears we've cried from wisdom, we've succumb. Our time will say to run or stay, each choice its own demise.
Feb 2012 · 650
city dreams
Rickie Louis Feb 2012
I have an undieing urge in life to roam.
An overwhelming desire to experience, and explore, but I feel so confined by city walls.
As tho I'm bound by stirrups of hollow currency and debt I didn't ask for.
Psychologically enslaved, driven like a power horse towards false dreams of open pastures,
herded by the motives of others prosperity.
Where is that life that was intended for me, it seems the very sense of freedom is bought and pacification is all they really sell.
Like a dream chaser, I say to myself, one day.
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