The glint of a gold coin discarded and under a hedge.
The unmistakeable ***** and ****** of the shrapnel congregating at the bottom of my pocket.
I can find any combination of currency in a lovely jingle jangle of metallic discs.
The cashier slips me a note and some change on top which spills onto the counter.
A 10 pence piece tries an audacious spinning escape morphing into a ball.
The change rattles again as it all settles at the bottom of my pocket after dropping in the new recruits.
I slide the discoloured crinkled creased five pound note into my leather wallet nicely nestling next to a ten pound note.
I love the  smell of ***** money!

Gentlemen kiss but never tell.
But I'm not one of those.
I love it when I shoot my load and it dribbles down her nose!

"Can the people at the front please move forward?" Came a stern voice as we piled into the empty lift.

"If I move any further forward I'd be kissing the wall" I replied from the front with an elbow in my back and an old ladies shopping bag on my foot.

"MOVE FORWARD!" She repeated.

"You're havin' a ****** larf!" an annonimous voice mumbled.

"Who said that?" said a professional looking woman in the middle dressed in a suit looking in my direction. "Mind your language!" She frowned.

"Not me I said" looking down.

"MOVE FORWARD, THERES LOADS OF SPACE AT THE FRONT!!" Said the stern voice of the lady pushing forward.

"She's got good ******' eyesight" said an old boy trying not to lose his temper or his balance.

"You should know better!" Said the professional lady switching her glare from me to him.

"Doors closing"

"Do not obstruct the doors"
"Do not obstruct the doors"

"Doors opening"

"Do not obstruct the doors"

"Doors closing"

"Do not obstruct the doors"

"Lift out of service"

Announced the pre recorded message in the lift.

"MOVE AWAY FROM THE DOORS!"
I shouted!

Gazing up at the night sky on a clear winter night he asked "Where do stars go during the day Dad?"
I responded "the stars are still up in space but the brightness of the sun on our side of the earth during the day is too bright for our eyes to focus on them"
After a deep breath he exclaimed "Why does it go dark then?"
"Get a football and tennis ball and I'll explain Son. Look, the football is the sun, Earth is the tennis ball"
I then held both ***** up in front of him mimicking earths rotation around the sun
"Earth rotates on its own axis like this as it also rotates around the sun. The dark side of the earth is night time. The side facing the sun which is bright is day time."
"Oh" he said wide eyed. He looked up to the sky again and paused.

.......


" Dad, Is there cheese on the moon?"
He gave no time for me to answer when he swiftly added.
"Shall I get you another ball so you can explain?"

Created in the land of the valley of death two Mexican Devils came clawing, ripping their way up my legs slicing at my back and plonked themselves, one on each shoulder.
Undeterred I carried on unable to shake the pesky Devils off.
Tortured subliminal screams enrolled upon thy cranium as they declared their evil intent.
Go down that alley!
Snort the powder!
Nick that watch!
Steal that bag!
**** em!
**** em all!
I was a mere puppet allowing a dark shadow to descend like a loose veil over my mug.
The little ******* dribbled, bit, gnawed, scratched and tortured my very fabric to get their own way.
Eventually their habits became mine.
I became them.

Tres Diablos with no Angels to save us from our life of sin dragged into the valley of death once again.

There was a ping pop and fizzle, I heard my new born grizzle, like fine rain it started to lightly drizzle.
There was a fizzle pop and ping, the force upset my ring due to the sting.
It took on a life if it's own and the poem went out the window.
It crawled out my ****** like a possessed rabid zombie, the worm had turned and gave a wink as it continued to slink out of my hole.
I swallowed the air which had thickened as a result of the gas creeping out the pores of the beasts own ***.
This thing was a body in my body but nobody knew not even me!
I fell to my knees face to face with my creation not born from my mother but sort of like my brother.
Good grief! I had eaten a KFC bargain bucket the night before, I smiled and it smiled a gob full of corn on the cob teeth.

The saddest day of my life.
My mud baked excrement died at sea. Bobbing up and down with the style of a cheap ******, I wiped a tear from my eye as I said goodbye.
A part of me felt choked as white streams of bog role acted as the white sheet of a ****** scene.
No police, no forensics.
Strangulation appeared to be the cause resulting in decapitation.
Wouldn't have happened if I didn't use Manipulation to overcome the chronic constipation.
Last time I eat beans on toast.
Now I'm being haunted by a **** shaped ghost!