You called
I did not hesitate
We started with
a cracked slate

Neither of us wanted
To end it
Neither of us knew
where we were headed

Confusing as it was
I stumbled
out of love
You tried to get me to wait
Without any effort
on your plate

I said we need to communicate
I wanted forever
You told me friends is better
I told you it's just too late

honestly your honesty
leaves a lot to be
desired
you said to me
rather candidly
"3 or 4 others
don't matter
love is something
you give away"
so as long as they're
okay, with letting you play
i shouldn't mind
either
only thing i see
is your honesty
clearly is your only flaw
so charismatic
you take your place
as if you belong
with every pretty face
you see as you scan the room
well honestly
i don't see what you see
all  i can say is
thank you
for showing me...
you

Love to me is not a whisper
It shouts from the rooftops
No
Love is not a secret
You place in your pocket
Love connects
Interacts
yearns for & craves
Love is always thinking
Of ways
For laughter to overturn
The frown
For respect to take the cake!
For oneness to accept
Forgive & forget...
Love
Conquers and saves

I'm not in my feelings
crying anymore
I shut that door
For the last time.

Healing is upon me
Today all I see
Is victory

Conscious imagery
Has never been my thing
I spill out
Recklessly

The way flour spills
everywhere
It's so hard to
Clean

The mess is me
I am best
Caught up in it

In my messy moments
Doing everything I can
to feel alive
important and free

To believe in me

Is golden
So they say
Stay quiet
Or give yourself away
They say
Obey
Don't ask
Or give yourself away
Silence is a killer
It lets the bad guys
get away
Wolves will come to the field
If the sheep begin to play
Silence is a killer
for the chilren
locked away
For the wives who want
relief
But are scared of what to say
Silence is like eggshells
Lying on the floor
You do not know where to step
when careful
won't calm the mental roar
Silence is the worst
No fear
Or overwhelm
Or anxiety or pandemics
Or is it just a scared society....
that puts you
in the ground

Wandering mind
Wondering what's gone wrong with me
And try not to try
Swayed in the wind
Swayed by desire
Can't reach the moon up above
And I don't dare touch the fire
'Cause the trouble with wanting is I want you
The trouble with wanting is I want you
The trouble with wanting is I want you
And I want you all my life
Always on my mind
You're miles and miles away
But somehow you're close
If I can't have my cake
And eat it too
I guess the sound of your voice on my machine
Will just have to do
'Cause the trouble with wanting is I want you
The trouble with wanting is I want you
The trouble with wanting is I want you
And I want you all the time
And if you never come back
If you never call
I say I'll understand....

Let him go play with her heart
Loosen your grip on his
He won't give
This tension is relentless
You're far too precious
don't shrink yourself
Into believing you're less
You're not a fraction of the best
He doesn't know how to love
Your head will stay a mess
Charisma isn't enough
Chemistry will pass
Being in bed isn't all you need
To make it last

A listener who cares
A love whose there,
More than pillow talk
more than lifeless stares
Someone who'll hold you
Through your tears
He picks you up and lights your fears
The journey is together
Connected so deep
when you speak
Commited to eachother
I help you, you help me
Make it last forever
This is something you keep

You said "Your *****'s not big enough,
you aren't that great, you aren't all that, old lady,  you're boring"
You made me feel like anybody
More like nobody than somebody
Even though you never even knew me
Or took the time
So it should be understandable
I never fell in love with you.

Masculine

Feminine

I guess I'm somewhere in between

Masculine because I need me
Gotta step up my game
Hustle and make a living

Feminine me, is never seen
Locked away in my beauty cave
Preserved for the one
who proves to me
He believes I'm worth the effort
Worth the time
Worth the chase

That's the one I'll belong to and he will be mine. ♡

I ask my daughter one day, what do you want to be when you grow up? She said to me, "Mommy when I grow up I want to be a pig" she loved pigs and I laughed, she was 4. A few years later I ask her again, her reply this time: "I want to be me, only I want to do whatever I want!"  I thought, how smart. We don't need a label or a sign slapped across our foreheads to define us. We are good enough to be anything we want anytime we want! So don't be ashamed if one day you change because, guess what, minds change, if we want them to. We are not too old to dance or sing, & we are never too old to play. So I stopped asking her what she wanted to be, I finally understood, she was already happy & there's nothing more she could ask for.

Warm sand seeps
through my toes
with every step
The ocean breeze
fresh sweet hibiscus scent
floats through the air
I almost taste coconuts & pineapple listening to the rythm of steel drums
in the distance
Without a worry in the world
far from anxiety
I sit in peace, one with the palms
my only thought is
where should I build my treehouse?
Where will I hang my hammock?
Should I wear shoes today?

I must apologize
my heart lept from my chest again
I could not reach out
to stop it
words flew from my lips
without telling my brain
they were leaving

one more time
triggers provoke my wild thoughts
before I could close my eyes
in peace

I apologize for my eyes
they stay open, even in the night
I can see in the dark
you hate that

one more time
I apologize
tattered as I mourn
I broke my own heart
believing in you

When I walk your roadway
I love the steep hills
I notice the beauty
I see the greenery
The shade of oaks
Covers me
The breeze cools my skin

When I walk your roadway
My intentions are pure
My heart sees only the good in you
My eyes try to find honesty
In yours

When I walk your roadway
I hope the best
For your life
My thoughts towards you
are only peace

I do not seek to waste
Your time or mine
I sacrifice my own
To walk your roadway

Not a single flaw presented
He walked a straight
Unfettered line
Unafraid
Decisive
Not a worry for the past
He left behind
Unmarked in all his ways
He left footprints
For us to follow
His death was bitter,
cruel & undeserved
This is a pill to swallow
Of value unsurpassed
All he ask
Is that we show our faith
Through action
So we must obey
truly I tell you today
our sins will be forgiven

Nuzzled up against him;
her ***** in his chest
The widest smile she could make
across her face was spread.
Adjoining with his own,
picture perfect together.
Best friends in a vow,
.....but never ever lovers?
He said, "Lovers come & lovers go
Friendship lasts forever"
Oh but darlings don't you know?
The two should be together.
Cherished friendship,
where forgiveness blossoms,
endless trials
cannot stop them
Together their love is enough,
Would you separate love?

Listen
Can you hear the peace?
It's calling me

Go ahead
tear me open just to sew me shut again.
All I ask, is that each time please
take some more stuffing with you.

I remember when
you said
"we can just be friends"
I wouldn't let it
Because just friends
wasn't why we started
Now where am I
Time flew by
it was a rollercoaster ride
I tried and cried
now I understand why

I slowly dipped my toes in at first
Yes it took me a while
I shifted, sifted, pondered, waited & then
I decided to jump right in
It was time
I quit thinking it over
I stopped thinking the worst
I stopped waiting and wishing
I decided to jump head first

When I picture us
It is so real to me
I guess I'm in a state of mind
Of fantasy
Only better
in the kitchen baking
You walk up behind me
We tease and toss flower
And play in happy bliss
kiss and love and laugh
Like children
Carelessly playing together
Happy
Satisfied
Content

Everything is rated
How you feel & what you say
Are you as cool as they think you should be?
Who are they?
What gives them the right to say how cool anything is anyway?
What is the definition of happy?
A hundred, a thousand like?, a million compliments?
5 stars, hundreds of hearts
Comfortable distance in the midst of it
Social connection or social death
I suppose they'll decide
It all depends on how you're rated
Just remember no one can see inside

He doesn't call
He doesn't try
He let go after all this time

Together they fall
Separated they fly

He thinks he's God's gift
God wouldn't make her cry

Or leave her guessing
He would dignify
No need to question
Not a doubt in sight

I believe in my heart
I believe in free will
In forgiveness & mercy
faith & conscience still
I believe love conquers
Above all
I believe a lot
Is bound to fall
Many will fail into thin air
Like the chaff, will disappear
I believe in what's written
Centuries in advance
Holding  prophetic value
Giving humans a chance
I believe that Jehovah
Cannot lie
I believe in what's true
Over what is a lie